I hear the smoking ban in Scotland is going so badly...

even doctors have been caught lighting up in public places

 

If I ever get attacked by terrorists I'm going private

 

Yeah, because the security checks BUPA carry out are going to be so much more thorough.

BUPA Rep: So what assets would you bring to the BUPA family
Dr OB. Laden: I bring own scalpel
BUPA Rep: Consider yourself hired!

 

I meant the terrorists