Hitting a women in self defence?

Discussion in 'Self Defence' started by Yukimushu, Jan 30, 2004.

  1. Valiant84

    Valiant84 New Member

    the only input i have on the matter is that if im being beaten by a woman, i will try to stop her with the minimum force necesarry. If i can restrain her then, good, if only a punch to the jaw is what it is going to take and as the only last resort then i will use it. I wouldnt feel happy about it though as i hate women being hit.
  2. totality

    totality New Member

    hmmm...dunno what i'd do...but when my girlfriend hits me, i hit her back. does that count?

    btw, i have like 4 KOs and one TKO against her.
  3. Judderman

    Judderman 'Ello darlin'

    I wonder if the whole aspect of "A Man should not hit a Woman" mearly propagates the idea that a woman is in some way inferior to a man. You would not ask the question "is it ok to hit a man in self defence?" because I'm sure the answer would be a resounding "Yes".

    The point is it is fundamentaly wrong to use violence in any form and for any reason against any being. However this is the real world and it doesn't work like that. I'm perfectly sure that a woman is more than capable of doing harm to another being as a man is.

    This antiquated idea that women are the weaker sex is unbelievable nonsense and should remain as dead as the era it came from.

    Point blank. If you are being attacked, defend yourself. If this means hitting your attacker, do so.

  4. freespirit

    freespirit spirit of the free

    didn't jet li face this problem in the film romeo must die :)
  5. slasha

    slasha Banned Banned

    I'm an equal opportunity pugilist, and a thread necromantic :lowblow:
  6. ladyhawk

    ladyhawk Valued Member

    Never underestimate anyone regardless of gender or age. Women can without a doubt be just as dangerous as men. If possible I prefer to attempt to defuse a situation by talking from a safe distance. This gives you time to take into consideration various factors such as the immediate environment, if the individual has an audience that they are showing off for and how the audience is reacting. An audience can quickly escalate the situation. The audience are potential witnesses so evaluate the situation carefully. If you have any intimidation tactics at your disposal, use them. If you have no options. Take them down or strike them. Whichever instinctively happens based on your training.
  7. Morik

    Morik Well-Known Member Supporter MAP 2017 Gold Award

    If a woman attacks me and my perception is that she intends to damage or kill me, I hope that I would fight back with the same vigor that I would against a man.

    That said, I've never been in a physical fight with a woman, only verbal arguments. Well, one time I was having a verbal argument with a woman and she grabbed something out of my hand and I grabbed it back from her (we were arguing over whether it was mine or not), but no violence was involved from either of us.

    A couple other comments:
    1) The societal pressure not to hit women of course came about in a time when women were not treated with as much respect as men. That said, even in these more modern times there is still this notion. Why? My belief is that it comes from the fact that biologically, men tend to be stronger than women. Our (male) bodies tend to get more muscle mass and especially upper body strength compared to female bodies.
    (Of course there are exceptions.)

    This leads to the notion that it is unfair to leverage this biological strength advantage via violence.

    2) I would never initiate violence against a woman. Whether this is fair or bigoted of me, it is baked into my brain. I think it would require a strong mental effort forcing myself to do it (pretty sure I'd never just do it instinctually), and I'm pretty sure I'd never decide to make such an effort.

    I have in the past initiated violence against a man (once, when I confronted another kid in high school over something he did to me earlier that day, and this was just a shove, not a strike).
    That said, I will now say that I also wouldn't initiate violence against a man.

    3) If someone (any gender) attacks me and I perceive it as a danger to myself, I would not have any issue defending myself with force. E.g., if a woman tried to mug me, I don't think I'd feel guilty about defending myself with force.

    That said, I've been struck several times by my wife when she gets overly upset during arguments (generally when I'm being a huge jerk). Though with her its generally an open-handed strike to my shoulder or arm; she hasn't slapped me in the face.
    Either way though, I wouldn't view that as a situation requiring any force on my part; its a one-time strike to let out anger on her part.
    I don't think its ethically ok for her to do so (she is initiating violence against me), but I also don't think its a situation where force is needed from me--it seems pretty clear in such moments that she isn't going to continue striking at me.

    To summarize my thoughts:
    - No one should initiate violence against anyone else, regardless of gender. If you try to take my property, harm someone else, or harm me though, that opens you up to valid reprisals, regardless of your gender.
    - I wouldn't strike a woman who struck me unless I thought that she was going to continue striking me and cause damage.
    - I probably would strike a guy who struck me. My thinking here is that when a guy hits you, I feel like it is more likely he is going to continue hitting you. While when a woman hits you, its generally just a single strike with no intention of following up with more strikes. It would depend on the situation though.
    - I don't think I'd bias my response of grapple/restrain vs strike based on gender. At least, from an ethical/moral standpoint I don't think gender is relevant; if I've decided that I need to defend myself, I'll do so in whatever manner will be effective in the moment.

    And of course the caveat with all of this is that much of it is speculation/rationalizing about what I'd do. I haven't been in a self-defense situation vs a woman. I can talk all I want about what I think is right/wrong and what I think I'd do, but who knows what would happen in the moment if there is adrenaline pumping. I bet I'd hesitate more to hit a woman due to societal conditioning.
  8. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    I don't want to hit anyone, and subduing people is always preferable to me (if de-escalation has failed), but I've hit enough men and women in sparring to know that I can :)
  9. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    I totally agree with your last point.

    For some reason it seems okay though, that it's okay to start fights as long as it's the same gender (see your quote above), which always surprises me.

    Why does that seem to be okay to a lot of people?

    Extreme example: Mr. 2m big decides that he doesn't like Mr. 1.70m - technically for most people it's okay, when 2m starts a fight now.

    Fighting in self-defense - okay.
    Hitting women as a man, when they attack you - okay.
    Starting a fight for the fun of it, regardless of gender - not okay.
  10. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    Depends on your social circles.

    People who start fights are not "okay" to the people in mine. They are the subject of ridicule.
  11. raaeoh

    raaeoh never tell me the odds

    Equal rights means getting hit back. Of course apropriate force should be used
  12. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    It all depends on threat level, doesn't it?

    A middle-aged woman who's 5'2" in heels and out of shape becomes a very different level of threat when she's got a carving knife in her hand.

    Just like you wouldn't treat a 6'4" 'roid monster the same as a weedy 15 yr. old wet rag.

    Sex only comes into it in as much as men are generally bigger and stronger.
  13. ladyhawk

    ladyhawk Valued Member

    In my profession the potential for violence is always present. Male, female, one on one or multiples. I walk into situations to maintain order and hopefully defuse a situation before it becomes violent. Sometimes I'm alone, sometimes with backup but backup is quickly there with a radio call. It's my job to protect the aggressors from each other and anyone else nearby while also protecting myself and fellow officers. Judgement calls need to be quick because a moments hesitation could possibly be fatal.
  14. 8limbs38112

    8limbs38112 Valued Member

    Lose lose situation. If the woman attacks you she will call you a big ol sissy man for not hitting her back. If you do hit her back she will call you a big ol sissy man for hitting a woman. My opinion. Get the police involved. Then press charges.
  15. 8limbs38112

    8limbs38112 Valued Member

    The above statement was sort of a joke. And sort of not. But since were on the topic of women attacking men. Have yall noticed that in America whenever a man celebrity hits a woman he is practically demonized by society and the media. Labeled scum of the earth practically. But whenever a woman hits a man she never suffers any negative criticisms or consequences. I don't believe in hitting women, but do you think this is fair?
  16. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

    I don't believe in hitting anyone if youdont have to....but if you do have to I believe in hitting anyone
  17. 8limbs38112

    8limbs38112 Valued Member

    Hmmmm. I can agree with that. But, my post was really about how society judges people. Don't you think women should be held to the same standard as men, when it comes to abusing the opposite sex.
  18. 8limbs38112

    8limbs38112 Valued Member

    Not condoning hitting people. IJS.
  19. SWC Sifu Ben

    SWC Sifu Ben I am the law

    Yes but to a large extent it's the masculinity aspect of our culture which does that. Above and beyond the lack of reporting of men being assaulted or abused by women there's a societal expectation that men can take it.

    Another reason I believe in equality. Everyone is equal under my knuckles.
  20. 8limbs38112

    8limbs38112 Valued Member

    Thats a good point. For some reason, I think most men think they will be viewed as weak if they report a woman for assulting them.

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