Happeh Theory?

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by aikidoka-je, Feb 22, 2013.

  1. aikidoka-je

    aikidoka-je Blue Floral Belt

    Anyone heard of this? Is it a joke or for real?

    A few parts I agree with but most of it I think is hilariously silly.

    What do you think?

    They say "there's a grain of truth in every joke".
     
  2. Lockjaw

    Lockjaw Killing you softly

    According to Happeh Theory, masturbation will make a human being blind and crippled.
    There are other actions that will cause or are associated with the same changes to the body.
    Anorexia, Exccessive Sex, Injection of Drugs, Snorting of Drugs, Excessive Excercise, and Homosexuality are all associated with the same changes to the body that Happeh Theory claims are caused by masturbation.

    The knowledge that masturbation or homosexuality changes the human body is not difficult to gain.
    The only thing it requires is observing homosexuals and masturbators long enough to become familiar with the physical characteristics of their bodies, and how those characteristics differ from the bodies of heterosexuals and people who do not masturbate.

    The simplicity of learning how masturbation or homosexuality will change the human body means that many human cultures throughout history gained easily acquired this knowledge.

    According to Happeh Theory, the proof that human cultures throughout history have known that masturbation will change the human body can be found in the creations of those cultures.
    Those cultures created things that could only be created by someone who knew how masturbation or homosexuality changes the human body.

    http://www.themasterofbation.com/2010/08/16/a-japanese-cartoon-and-homosexual-body-changes/
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2013
  3. bassai

    bassai onwards and upwards ! Moderator Supporter

  4. Aegis

    Aegis River Guardian Admin Supporter

  5. Kenko Enso

    Kenko Enso Valued Member

    So, what he's trying to tell me is that people that perpetuate the acceptance of masturbation have ties with eye laser surgery clinics?
     
  6. aikidoka-je

    aikidoka-je Blue Floral Belt

    I don't believe the "blindness" or "hairy palms" myths but I do think it can distort the body if you over do it.
     
  7. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

  8. mattt

    mattt Valued Member

    Toe curling
     
  9. aikidoka-je

    aikidoka-je Blue Floral Belt

    If it is overdone I believe that body can start to become 'stuck' in the position.
     
  10. mattt

    mattt Valued Member

    Standing or Seated?
     
  11. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

    Only if the wind changed direction....
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2013
  12. Kurtka Jerker

    Kurtka Jerker Valued Member

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa1RMD1f5Es"]X-Men the Animated Series Theme (No SFX) - YouTube[/ame]
    This is all that comes to mind for me in response to the whole "Happeh theory" thing.

    And "stuck that way"? I'm not sure what you mean. Priapism?
     
  13. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    Is that based on personal experience or close observation of friends and family?

    :eek:





    Seriously now what is that actually based on?
     
  14. Count Duckula

    Count Duckula Valued Member

    You mean like in American Pie?

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    This is one of those threads where starting off with, "Well, from my experience" is inappropriate right?
     
  16. mattt

    mattt Valued Member

    I'm wondering how much is too much? Is there any lead into this state or just it just occur? I mean, I am up to 8-12 a day, more on the weekends and no ill effects...

    [​IMG]
     
  17. aikidoka-je

    aikidoka-je Blue Floral Belt

    I don't think anyone can explain this better than the man himself! (Happeh) LOL

    [ame="www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyD_qIchAds"]Example of the effects of Right Hand Masturbation on a male human body - YouTube[/ame]
     
  18. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    So, as long as you switch hands and vary position, you're ok?
     
  19. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    What if both your shoulders are wonky?
     
  20. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    You're ambidextrous?
     

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