Got into a fight after several years

So, it's okay to let a drunk harass your wife while you sit there and do nothing?

 

Refer back to where I said if there's people deliberately provoking others in an attempt to start something, it's time to go. My wife bless her heart has never questioned me since we got married when I tell her we're leaving and give her "the look". Because of it we've been fortunate to avoid such situations.

 

That's different, but if there's someone harassing your wife, whether at a bar or a restaurant. You won't
say anything to the guy, just pick up and leave?

 

My wife can handle herself pretty well. She's actually turned on the charm on the odd doofus who doesn't get the picture and had him go get her a drink, only for us to then take our leave. We typically do not go to loud places either, so if either of us verbalize something we tend to get attention. Once they're on the spot as the "bad guy", most reasonable people back off.

 

Chatting up is the same as harassment? Wow, better watch myself when I next go out.

anyway...that's not what I said.

To be honest if some guy is trying to hit on my girlfriend, nope, I don't care...I have enough confidence in myself, my GF and our relationship to not be too bothered. She'll get rid of him, and she can look after herself.

Although I didn't read Sandninjers update about the guy banging into the friends. But even still...the women walking away and leaving the area would have probably been a far easier option.

 

That hardly seemed to be the point he was making. Women have to learn to deal with unwanted sexual advances from overly aggressive idiots at a very young age. They're practiced at resolving those situations peacefully because they HAVE to be. Those same situations still happen to them when their big tough husbands aren't standing around guarding their honor. So I believe that his girlfriend was probably just wisely suggesting, "let the girls handle it, they're better at it." The second a male steps in to resolve that kinda thing, even if he is very polite about it, the "perceived" threat of violence is often enough to start some. Fundamentally the sexes respond quite differently to each other, even if their actions/words are identical.

 

Yep - Exactly!

I should learn how to write.

 

The hot-headed side of me sometimes speaks too impulsively. All points noted.

I won't stand idle though, if it goes beyond that. There's a line that can't be crossed, and t doesn't have to be anything physical.

 

My basic rules are:

1). If it's only pride or honour at stake then walk away
2). If there is a physical risk then walk away if it is safe to do so.
3). If there is a physical threat and you are unable to leave then do whatever is necessary to be able to safely remove yourself (and/or family and friends) from the situation.

Generally if I find myself in a situation where I am having to throw punches it means that I have done something pretty stupid. I worked night-shift for two years as a mobile security guard, mainly dealing with low-level offenders (taggers, tresspassers, car thieves etc.) and I didn't once have to resort to physical force. I can't remember being in a physical confrontation since I was 18 or 19 (12 years ago), and I hope to never be in one again.

 

I disagree with this statement. My school utilizes ninjutsu from both a traditional and modern perspective. While we're taught to run away and find an exit if we can, the perspective behind our training is if we find ourselves in unavoidable physical situations. As far as fighting other soldiers, I would imagine by your response that you've given into the common misconception about ninjutsu. We're not taught to fight just "other soldiers" at all nor have I ever heard my sensei make such a ridiculous statement, let alone even imply it. Yes, the part about using weapons of course is more traditional than modern, but then to discount all the taijutsu, jujutsu and other hand to hand combat styles is overly simplistic and exaggerated on your end.

I think something several people here are dismissing is the fact that my bil isn't a young kid. The glass bottle used wasn't broken before he hit the guy. If they had went toe to toe just hands on, my bil likely knew he wouldn't have had much of a chance against a bigger much younger guy. Second point is he didn't know if the guy would have a weapon on him either. You people are honestly making it seem as if the fight was intentionally provoked by our side whereas we were simply defending our women. It wasn't pride at all, and not everyone is accustomed to having to ask bouncers to escort them out. While I can agree that it's likely the smarter thing to do, I've been to hundreds of bars/lounges/clubs in NYC, Philly, Jersey, DC, northern VA, DE, Boston, and God knows where else, and have never once seen bouncers escort people to their cars. Not saying it can't happen, but I've never seen it.

At any rate, it can be argued to let the women defend themselves even more but honestly, I'll never buy into not stepping in when some guy is harassing my wife. Maybe your women will like this, but every woman I have known would consider a man useless in such a situation. This is not to imply that these same women would not prefer to take care of themselves for the same reasons you all mentioned (because most women I have known do prefer to take care of themselves), but when it turns into harassment and you're standing right there, I would personally consider it plain cowardice to continue to let your woman be harassed. There should be a limit and as men, it's our duty to know what these limitations are with our women as they are all different.

 

Thanks, Mitch. The bouncers were on our side as well since they knew how everything started and they witnessed it. There will not be any repercussions.

 

Trust me, my wife would be less impressed if I started "defending her honour" by getting in bar fights with drunks.

If you regularly get into fights, eventually one will not go your way; either you will end up seriously injured (unable to work and a burden on your family) or you will end up with assault conviction, no job and unemployable. If my wife wanted me to fight every drunk who made an idiotic comment to her then I wouldn't have married her. Take pride in your ability to be a grown-up and walk away from fights, not in your ability to fight drunks.

 

I see you haven't read my further posts. It wasn't as simple as "making idiotic comments", they were walking through the group bumping their shoulders repeatedly to catch their attention I guess. Whatever it was, they had asked them to leave and they didn't. My bil kindly asked them to leave before they got in his face. That's when he told them to get lost and they wanted to fight over it. It was really that simple. Also, they weren't very drunk from what I could tell.

 

I'm a woman myself, and I think Kuma sums it up well in his posts. If a woman or man can't handle harassment, then they shouldn't be in a place like a bar, a nightclub or a pub in the first place. Most women I have spoken to, can handle harassment. What most women don't like (including myself) is when someone steps in only to escalate a situation to the point of physical violence. What I would want if I found myself being harassed, is to be escorted away from the situation and taken elsewhere that is safe. Now, I'm not a tiny or delicate thing (I'm 5'8) and I know how to handle myself. But there are times where I would like to have that extra person by my side to help defuse the situation (that could be anyone - male or female).

 

That's certainly your opinion and of course you're entitled to it, but I have a wife and sisters, not to mention many, many close female friends. There are a lot of mixed opinions and I believe it would be a good idea for some to not impose their ideas on others and claim it is the only logical response to such a situation. Of course, suggestions are always welcome, but to say that one is being irrational simply because you don't see eye to eye with them doesn't make your side of the argument any better. Again, I agree that no one should ignite a situation but also limits shouldn't be crossed. Granted, everyone has different limits as to what makes them comfortable and uncomfortable. People also shouldn't be going to lounges if they're out there to bother others, right? As I mentioned before, I've been to hundreds of these types of places but this was my first time in a physical confrontation at one.

 

I just find it odd that you have been on MAP for a month, been a Ninjer for 2 months and already have a 'hey guys you wouldn't believe what happened, but I had a huge fight and saved the day' thread started.

 

Is there some kind of inside story to this that I'm unaware of?

 

I was referring to these statements here in the bold, and In my previous post I was speaking from experience and from the experience of my four older sisters and my lady friends.

In short, its you stating what you think women think about men not beating their chests and exhorting themselves if harassment occurs, and you're right, not all women are the same, and not all women appreciate it when someone else comes along in macho mode escalating the situation. If you want to go down that route, where were you when your wife was with your brother in law?

 

That's a completely silly argument and I'm surprised you would raise it. I stepped outside to accompany my sister while she smoked a cig. We weren't gone for more than a couple minutes. You can play whichever card you like, whatever floats your boat, but I already stated it's not my own opinion about what women think about men defending them.

Like I said, if you're okay with it, that's your own business, but don't go repeating such nonsense to others attempting to belittle them for not agreeing with you. I've repeated my same statements more times than I can count in this thread.

 

Pure presumption on my part. You join a forum, and it appears you are the small dog so you post a thread about an Epic win to promote your position in the pack.

Basically I think you are making it all up. But that's just my opinion based upon seeing this happen again and again.