Anyone got any advise??? i've just had a huge bust-up with my "mate" who i train with, she was constantly putting me down and talking to me as though i am a kid and shes a teacher, all night. Until at the end of the class, she dug me up in front of my mates, told me i was wrong and not capable of being an instructor, :bang: so i belted her or rather hooked her and cut her lip open, she is now threatening to speak to my instructor...what do i do cos shes labelling me as the guilty party although i feel i was provoked into hitting her through her verbal bullying....need help...
Maaaaaaaaan, In the past I've had bust ups with fellow class mates which have led to the odd bout of fisticuffs. It's no real big deal, just blokes being blokes and clashings of egos. For some reason I had built up a sort of rivalry with one of the other seniors (and incidentally my junior ) and this came to a head when during a class, he took it a little too far when he made fun over my getting a combination wrong. So I pushed him in the face over and over, just stopping short of smacking the heck out of him. Not my best moment and showed a complete lack of discipline and respect for my fellow classmates, teacher, school and art on my part. I fully understand why you did what you did, all i can suggest is to go to your master/teacher before this person 'grasses' you up and explain what happened and why you lashed out. You will probably be disciplined, but at least you had the guts to come forward and admit doing wrong. But tell me, just between you and me, it felt good right?
i feel like hell...cos it is out of character for me...not only have i let myself down, but ive let my instructors down as well as my mates, and my art. I feel like the worst person in the world...plus its made me feel as though i shouldnt even be doing MA in the first place...think im gonna walk away from MA altogether...
Hey, you had a weak moment and no, it wasn't the right thing to do, you have realized this and this is a good thing. I also would go to your instructors and inform them of what happened. Ok you made a mistake, but you can learn from this, certainly no reason to walk away from MA all together. You also need to talk to your friend and tell them how you feel and why you did what you did. Maybe you could set up a meeting between the both of you with your instructor present. Dont just walk away from this. Please keep us informed as to the outcome
No,No,No! don't do that, speak to your instructor explain the situation that this person has been belittling you for a while about your ability as a martial artist , committment to the club and potential to become an instructor while systematically destroying your confidence and you finally snapped when she purposely went out of her way to show you up as well as your ability in front of others. For what its worth it sounds to me that your mate seems to be the one with the problem, people like that try to humiliate other people to hide their own incompetence, just as a bullied person will bully others. I certainly would not give up, she probably expects you to quit, dont give her the pleasure. When you train next go up to her and say "hows the lip, you really must learn how to block properly, perhaps I will teach you someday" that will really wind her up. She is probably already trying to turn the rest of the class against you but it will probably all backfire on her.
i agree with everyone that you should talk to your instructor, you are sincere i dont doubt that so that will be enough for your instructor. I suggest you let her talk to him first, trying to stop her grassing you up makes you look like a bully however i also reckon you have to talk to your "mate", im not sure what those inverted commas mean exactly about how you get on with this person (or at least how you used to get on with them). But you have to meet with this person too, and apoligise, i know, i know, it was her fault. But busting someone up because you lost your rag, especially in the dojang, isnt on, its disrespectful to your instructor and the art. She is (i think) a senior rank and as a martial artist you must show dignity in the face of stupidity So you did something wrong and there will be consequences, just take the flak and get your head down at training. If this person does everything you say then her attitude wont get her anywhere fast, your friends, in the long run, will respect you for not trying to cover up what you did. Meanwhile this toerag wont make any friends anytime soon. sorry if this sounded a little more "boot up the ****" than the other posts, i just wanted to put in something that wasnt in there b4.
You are not the worst person in the world, you just made a mistake. I wish I had a lot more detail before I tried to give advice but what the heck do with the advice as you feel fit. Tell your instructors and dont try to over explain.( how this could happen without them noticing is one of those details I dont know ) Try to talk to your mate, sooner rather than later. If she doesnt want to know then walk away, at least you wont find yourself regretting not making the attempt. I can understand if you dont want to talk about it but any further advice would need a lot more background. Why was the class so tense? Why does her opinion of your fitness to be an instructor matter? Didnt any of your mates feel she was out of line with the constant criticism? Could she be insecure and jealous about your progress? Dont walk away from what you enjoy because of one mistake. If you feel you need a new start then go looking at some other classes. Perhaps you'll find one that doesnt allow bad mouthing
What a great martial artist she is, belted in the face by you and goes running to teacher. I'd expect that at primary school maybe. I don't see why you did anything too wrong.
well if it was up to me I'd have her tied up and zap her with a million wats..but since its not up to me go to your teacher with your side of the story....if he doesn't believe you and she still does it tell her to meet you in an ally have her beaten up badly :yeleyes: j/k...or am I?
Nooooooo, don't give up. You are allowed to be human y'know. My partner said something to me the other day that really rang true. It was somehting along the lines of, "most people don't cruise smoothly down the middle of their chosen paths, they bounce from one side of the road to the other."
