Obvioulsy our Pinoy freinds here on MAP are quite right the answer is B You Look Away. A. Staring would be provocative and invite a quarel. C. Smiling may be freindly but could be interpreted as mocking him and, in any case, opening a conversation with an armed drunk is always unpredictable. Now for our next one Imagine you run a business in the Philippines. SITUATION 2. You have not eaten all day and it's getting late but for a reason known to you, You enter your employee's home and he is having dinner, and he says, 'Have something to eat.' Do you say: A. Yes, thank you, I'm starving. B. No, thank you, I have just had dinner. C. I'll just have a drink, thanks. This one will run until Sunday to give you time to answer, then we can look at the answers and comments before moving on to situation 3. Have fun. Pat
I would probablly say A as i am never one to turn down home cooked food! I would not say "i am starving" though, but if he were an employee i feel that we should have a friendship going already.. (cuz i am sure i would pay well )
SITUATION 2. You have not eaten all day and it's getting late but for a reason known to you, You enter your employee's home and he is having dinner, and he says, 'Have something to eat.' Do you say: A. Yes, thank you, I'm starving. B. No, thank you, I have just had dinner. C. I'll just have a drink, thanks normally i would go with b. it's the "hiya" thing to do. but since i know my employees very well, i would probably go with c.
The employee is a Filipino? The worst thing you can do is (A) and (C). To say "Have something to eat" is being polite when a visitor surprises you in the middle of a meal. You are, of course, free to eat, but the Filipino will think you are uncouth. The meals of a guest are properly prepared for in advance. Eating an "ambush meal" puts the host in a bad light.
well... depends in which part of the country? coz in the provinces, there's this myth about poisons... heard of it?
i would say B ,but i wouldnt say i have just had dinner as this would be false.Even tho i would be feeling like A ,I would refrain fom saying yes as this i would feel i would be imposing on the hosts space .C im not thirsty im hungry.
depends of other factors, like familiarity between the people involved. The safest would be B. I agree with RedBagani. You will be offered food if you happen to arrive while a meal is in progress. Politely refusing is the expected response. you may partake of the offered food, which does happen, but can send the wrong signals. Exceptions to this are situations where food is obviously in abundance (weddings, town fiestas). You are expected to dive in and join the feast This also works the other way. When you are eating in the presence of others, you offer them some of whatever you're munching on. C is somewhat like asking for something else other than what is offered. Can also be misunderstood.
A look into our culture I agree with juramentado. The response largely depends on the degree of familiarity between employer and employee. B is the safest choice (even if it is a lie) if the employee's relationship with the employer is somewhat distant. C is no better than A if the relationship is like this since it would be considered oppurtunistic in the part of the employee. Exceptions to this is when the job requires a close working relationship with boss and employee such as between foremen and laborers. You may also join in if the employer is insistent in his offer. Remember that if anybody walks in on somebody during a meal the former will almost always be offered to join in on the meal. This is customary etiquette here in the Philippines and not to do so will usually be seen as rude.
i cannot believe i haven't seen this thread! my exams have been killing me! i don't have enough time to post anymore! haha! well, in the situation when you're being offered food, I usually politely decline the offer and say that I just ate. as for the situation with the drunk in the jeep, i'm definitely not going to smile at the guy (that's for sure!) and i'm definitely not going to show disapproval either. so i'm left with the "look away and ignore him" option. i had this american guy (caucasian) talk to me at the ninoy aquino international airport. i was in the diner there, and he was asking for directions (i think, this was ages ago). he was talking to me as if i couldn't speak fluent english! i mean come on, the nerve! he was pleasantly (or should i say unpleasantly) surprised when i answered him in perfect english and told him that i could understand him just fine. tsk tsk tsk. some people i tell you. -nico-
Them crazy Filipinos, I never get enough of their zany antics. For a nation that torn up I gotta tell you they're as polite as any Japanese person, and certainly more friendly. After visiting Manila I would not have been surprised to have been kidnapped by terrorists, and then asked by one of my captors if I would care to join the other terrorists in their siesta, or perhaps attend one of their daughters' weddings and partake in the money dance. I was visiting the Phillipines with a friend of mine who is Filipina and we went to a nipa (spelling?) hut on the edge of her family's home to visit with the family that had stationed themselves there. Not having eaten that day I was very tempted to accept their offer to a meal, but I declined after having received a sharp elbow in the stomach from my friend. Later we invited the family over to her family's place and had a grand time eating pork and swimming in a potentially parasite infested pool. I don't think the prospect of getting tapeworms will ever be as fun anywhere else but the Phillipines at a big 'ol party.
Been there many times on and off dozens of times over the years. Eaten just about everything including some crazy mongoose type animal that some farmers/Manzaka people trap up in the N.P.A. held mountains outside of Maragusan... and never so much as stomach ache or even indigestion. You may be a hypchrondriac. On the other hand if your downing quantities of Tuva (spelling?) or Tanduay then you will be so much more hurt than a tapeworm. LOL! Though it may kill the tapeworm for you.
Answer to Situation 2 OK as you may have guessed from the answers from the Pinoy's the answer is B as for Accepting outright would catch him off guard. The invitation was purely formal courtesy, not to be taken literally, so acceptance could place hin in an embarrassing situation, especially if he thinks what he has may not be good enough for you (Filipino's always prepare special food for guests). Only if he insists and repeats the offer would it be proper to accept. (Inversely, most Filipinos decline the first offer of coffee etc, expecting the offer to be repeated before saying yes.) 'No, Thanks' is therefore the expected answer. Option C however, is also acceptable in most situations.
Situation 3 SITUATION 3: Your house help comes to you with a story about a sick relative and asks for a substancial loan: She has previously borrowed, and still owes you, the equivallent of three months' wages, Do you: A. Lend the money to help the poor woman. B. Lend only a partial amount. C. Refuse to loan her any more because you have rules about loans of more than the equivalent of three months' wages. This one will run until Wednesday. Have fun Pat
A very tricky situation This is tricky because whether or not your house help's reasons for borrowing are true, not coughing up some amount can be seen as uncharitable. It gets more interesting because it will also give the impression that you are some easily fooled shmuck. Laying out the rules at the beginning of her service is all well and good but should her reasons be true refusing would get you disrespect (despite the fact she brought the situation on herself due to continuous borrowing). The best choice would be B (if you have no actual proof that the relative is in serious need of medical attention, in which case the choice would be A. Hoewever, investigating would be seen as an act of mistrust which will get you some degree of disrespect). While you're at it, give her a reprimand and a very good reason why you can only give a partial amount (like where you are going to get her next paycheck if she has already borrowed it all). C is usually a bad idea because being seen as inflexible will also get you disrespect.
I'd say the answer will definitely be influenced by whether or not you've ever lived in the Philipines/Hong Kong/Singapore/Thailand and actually had the experience of your house help repeatedly asking for loans even though she's up to the eyeballs in what she owes you already. This has to be one of the most common problems for employers here. The Filipino newspapers here in Hong Kong always have a column to this effect. Not only loans between employer/employee but also between friends. If I had a dime for everytime I heard about some friend who loaned cash to a friend time and time again and then eventually the friend splits when she realizes just how deep she's in debt. My answer is NO. Why? Because it's faciliation of a bad situation. At the rate this kind of things go on in Hong Kong you'd think every Filipino had a dad with cancer/heart problems/terminal sickness. There wouldn't be a single person left alive in PI. 99% of the time I don't buy it... I've been there enough and known enough families to know that many male members of the family will think nothing of gambling the hard earned proceeds of their mothers/sisters/wifes/daughters income. I've seen so many cases where the family back home starts to view the family member working abroad as a cash cow. Let the milking begin. There are dozens of loan companies here in Hong Kong that specifically target Filipinos because of this - usually with fairly unfavorable terms and the borrowers only end up more in debt. If you want to build a house for your family back in the province - then ask - but ask honestly and on those terms and we can work something out. If you want to buy your bro a jeepney so he can work - then let's set it up as a business but be up front. Want to set up a shopfront in your mom's house... then just say so and we'll go over it. But nine times out of ten when I heard the cancer/surgery/terminal illness - I'd say the story is pure Bola-Bola!
I'm part Filipino, but I'm in touch with the Filipino side of my family to be well absorbed into our culture. I sometimes question whether I should call myself Filipino or mixed, but after reading those questions, I know I'm filipino; I answered B to every situation accept #3, because I don't have the money to give out loans, I'm in high school . I think we sometimes actually lend money back home, but it was only to a couple of family members with legitamate needs; we're state-side, our American dollars go farther, so its no real loss to us... until every distant relative decides to come out of nowhere asking for money
