Feeling guilty about changing gyms

Discussion in 'Brazilian Jiu Jitsu' started by Southpaw535, Feb 3, 2020.

  1. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Hi guys,

    I've finally got myself into a financial situation where I can afford to take up training again and I'd like to get back into BJJ. However, while I loved my old class they're part of a gym that has prices at the high end of things that I'm a mix of unable and unwilling to pay.

    So, that leaves me with the option of going to another club and there's a few options luckily, but I'm starting to feel really bad about 'abandoning' my old club. I've accepted that the reality is I can train elsewhere or not train at all, so I guess I just wondered if anyone else has switched gyms and felt bad about it or if its just me being overly tribal or sentimental?

    Also wondering whether politeness means I should message my old coach or if they're really unlikely to care and it'll make me look a bit dumb?
  2. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    If your going from training regularly there to training regularly elsewhere a message would always be welcomed. But if you've been "on a break" I don't think it's that nessasary, we're all adults here, paying someone out of guilt is never a good long term plan.

    Think of it like reallife relationships, you don't tell your ex from a Year ago what your doing now, caus that's creapy, but if your in a long term relationship, the dumped partner does deserve a brief explanation.
  3. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    Mushroom and axelb like this.
  4. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    Only joking. Train wherever you like I think. Perhaps if you had a particularly close relationship with your previous instructor then a message would be polite and a nice thing to do.
    axelb, Southpaw535 and Dead_pool like this.
  5. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    That's reassuring guys. Thanks!
    Dead_pool likes this.
  6. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    I personally haven't but I knew a few folk who have up and left and many who train at multiple gyms (the sluts!). My instructor has never had an issue with anyone training with us. The only caveat is competing. Know who you represent and make all parties aware. For instance I fought Muay Thai in December I represented my own club and instructor but I had trained solely at a Muay Thai gym that was not my own. All parties were aware and i even ended up with one of the MT guys in my corner (he's a top 5 fighter in the UK and he's already beat the Yokkao title challenger).
    Southpaw535 likes this.
  7. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    That's one of the things I'm more concerned about for down the line. Not that I mind competing against old partners, but it would feel weird competing under a different name at the same tournament.

    Which is also where choices get a bit annoying. There's a club basically next door with a black belt instructor that doesn't, as far as I'm aware, have a very strong competing tradition. But, black belt instructor. Or there's a club a bit further run by one of the dudes who used to train with my old place which wouldn't feel as weird, but the team is mostly newbies and I've trained there before and come away a bit annoyed by some of them. But they are also starting to really up their competing regularity so its an interesting question of team quality with a non competing club led by a black belt versus a competing team led by a purple. Or possibly a brown I'm not 100%
    axelb likes this.
  8. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    I mean, non-competition doesn't really mean anything. In my gym there is no competition class. I do that stuff in my own time. The techniques are the same regardless.
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  9. Mushroom

    Mushroom De-powered to come back better than before.

    At the worst, you'll be called creonte in a bit of banter
    But as mentioned above, we're all adults. It's not like you left in a malicious way. Everyone who knows you, knows your situation.
    Southpaw535 likes this.
  10. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    I think @Dead_pool explained it will with the relationship thing.

    I keep in contact with all the clubs that I trained at for a year or more.

    If it's BJJ then black belt teacher would count for a lot, regadless of lack of competition. Does anyone compete from the club? Are you planning to compete?
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  11. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    Re Non competition, I've done a quick Google, and Kamon has regular competition classes, and joint competition glasses with other RGA's. it's just the head guy doesn't seem to compete much now, (I remember him competing a lot back in the day, and his record is on the website) that's quite common once you hit the higher degrees in blackbelt, injuries mount up.

    It's really just the standard advice isn't it, pop by both and see which situation most appeals to you.
  12. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    I've seen one of the coaches at a local interclub, otherwise I've never seen them at a comp, although that is only my own experience of course. And I'd like to get back into competition again, although probably not for a fair while given I'd still have to jump back into blue belt brackets
  13. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Well that's me told isn't it
  14. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    To be fair the other gym seems to be more competition focused, but as a purple running his own place you can see why, he's under Tom barlow who is really good.
  15. Grapplezilla

    Grapplezilla New Member

    I think there is no need to feel guilty in your case. Many top level BJJ competitors have changed teams seeking a new fresh breath of air in their training. in the end you need to do what's best for yourself and not what's best for your former instructor.

    The whole "Creonte" ideology is amazing for a school owner, it makes it that their students cannot leave and if they choose what is better for themselves, then they are shamed and even worse. I understand in some scenarios there are times to not leave but ultimately it is your life, your decision and you are the customer not them.

    You will feel much better and in the end of it, when you look back you will see you made the right decision.

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