Depression Coming Back

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Pretty In Pink, Apr 23, 2016.

  1. aikiMac

    aikiMac aikido + boxing = very good Moderator Supporter

    You ain't the only one, man. I have these same feelings every month. To some degree St. John's Wort and melatonin help, but ... ya, I hear exactly what you're saying. Exactly what you're saying.

    But it ain't all bad. You get to go home to a babe. Not everyone can say that. And I'm quite certain you'd kick my ass in a cage fight, because I can't stop every take-down attempt and you're a lot better than me on the ground. (I've seen your videos.) :)
     
  2. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    Isn't that less then the legal minimum wage?

    Use your down time to look for a better job / start doing online/real college courses, your time rich at the moment so it's the ideal time to do it!
     
    Mitch and Nachi like this.
  3. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    I know a lot of people feel that it is cheesy to talk about your training permeating other aspects of your life, but personally I think it can have merit.

    Consider if your depression were a physical injury. You would balance rest and rehab workouts to bring yourself back to fighting fitness. If it were a recurring injury, you would plan ahead to take it into account and find ways to work around it while still achieving your goals. For some reason we don't think of taking care of our minds and life in general (including work/qualifications/finances) in the same way as we take care of our bodies.

    Give yourself a break, learn some techniques to quieten your mind, like CBT, mindfulness or meditation (try those apps I linked to for starters). Don't presume that willpower can overcome depression and factor it into your plans so that you can still achieve your goals. Come up with plans to better your financial position, and make sure you have a plan B for that (though for most people this won't come to fruition until your 30's, but the groundwork is laid in your 20's).

    The hardest part is finding techniques to break the spiralling effect of the vicious cycle. You have to explore ways to break that, and the best way is to learn how to take a step back and get a glimpse of objectivity. Try to be as kind and patient to yourself as you would to a friend who came to you with the same issues.
     
    Pretty In Pink likes this.
  4. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

  5. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    Cheers guys. I want to point out that I'm not depressed at all, I feel fine today, but last night was a very sobering reminder of quickly you can from good mood to awful. Really I just wanted to vent about how frustrating things are right now. Like things are not getting any easier. I'm going to apply for Build-A-Bear again and get a better routine going.
     
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  6. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    That people are having it easier or cope with it better is often an illusion. Iain Abernethy had a facebook post the other day saying that often people put their best side forward on social media. They don't always share the crap side of life. As such it can often seem people are coping with life better than you are. But actually MANY people are going through or have gone through very similar feelings and situations.
    That's not to belittle how you feel or that old hackney cliche of "other people have it worse" but merely to point out that additional feelings of "other people cope better" on top of other life feelings aren't helping or indeed accurate.
    Of course there are people that seem naturally bouyant and chipper all the time and people with rich parents and want for nothing but they aren't the the norm.
     
  7. Jaydub

    Jaydub Valued Member

    I'm glad to hear that you're doing better.

    For what it's worth, your training and what you have accomplished as a Martial Artist is inspiring to me.

    After watching videos of your training and fights, I wish I was more like you.
     
  8. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    Fighting is good and all that but I dunno. Don't feel like I'm advancing and I really worry about the level of competition increasing.

    I'm not fretting about it or anything, that's just how I see it right now.
     
  9. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Good to talk today Tom.

    I have added you to the site run by @Hannibal's instructor and it just awaits admin approval.

    I have to disagree with David when he says maybe take a break from training.

    We have a thing called arrive before you leave and that involves breaking a sweat before you leave the house in the morning.

    It sets you up for the day, but that will all be explained on the site.

    Regarding the worry about the level of competition increasing it isn't anything you can affect, but what you can affect if how you are and how you feel.

    You can only work on you, as we discussed earlier.
     
    axelb likes this.
  10. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    No disagreement, I didn't mean take a break from training, I meant "give yourself a break", as in "cut yourself some slack".
     
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  11. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    That was happening long before the internet!
     
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  12. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Sorry David.
     
    David Harrison likes this.
  13. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    No problem, if you got the wrong end of the stick on that then others might have as well, so thank you for making my meaning clear! :)
     
    Simon likes this.
  14. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    Ah right that makes sense. I read it the same way as Simon too.
     
    David Harrison likes this.
  15. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    sorry to read about the situation you're in.

    They must really suck, working that hard for little return.

    If the other job opportunities aren't fruitful, have you ever considered getting involved in martial arts coaching? Clearly you have the skills for the art, gathered by your hard work, do any of your MA gyms have any program you can work towards?
     
  16. aikiMac

    aikiMac aikido + boxing = very good Moderator Supporter

    Oh, wow, I'd totally forgotten that you used to work there! I hope you get the job again. That is so freakin' awesome beyond words: "Makes teddy bears by day. Beats the crap out of people by night." :D

    Man, if you lived near me, I'd buy you a beer or whatever you drink just to pick your brain for an hour. :)
     
    Jaydub likes this.
  17. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    It'd be slim pickings :p

    Cheers everyone. Like I said, I'm not depressed anymore, but sometimes things really do get to me and I didn't want to start a new thread just to vent.
     
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  18. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    For the last few weeks I've been pretty moody and really snappy with people I love. Pushing people away and generally being grouchy. I've also been lethargic. Don't remember feeling quite like this since I had depression. I've not had any depressing thoughts of suicide or anything but I have been getting angry and when I do I've been having violent thoughts that make my emotions worse. Like when you get depressed and then think sad thoughts, except anger.

    I've barely eaten due to having no money for food. Ended up pawning some stuff and moving back in with family because my landlord changed rent and my job is still crap. I've got a CV and cover letter written for Build-A-Bear but I've been too lethargic/unhappy to even leave the house. I hesitate to use the word "depressed" because I don't have any self harm thoughts or anything about killing myself. I feel frustrated. I want to fight everyone and also really want to train but I don't want to make the effort to go. Then I get angry at myself when I stay at home and promise myself I'll do it tomorrow. Before doing the exact same thing the next day.


    It's been a crappy cycle lately. I've probably been worst to my girlfriend. Her friend has came all the way to Mexico to see her and they've been together non-stop and talking in Spanish, I've been pretty much left to my own devices and she only really talks to me if I look upset. I can't really join in on their conversation because it's Spanish so there's not much point in third wheeling. Whenever she does start talking to me I pretty much push her away straight away and it leaves a bad air between us. This has been frustrating me because I feel like I can't make her smile like I normally can. And then I panic because this is my experience with break ups. I really don't want her to break up with me but if I keep this up she just might.

    So yeah, having a crap time right now. Honestly I just wanted to write this down because I can't really tell anyone in person and it's hard to explain in words. When you talk, people interupt and I mince my words.
     
  19. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    thanks for sharing that with us :)

    that sounds like a tough cycle you are stuck in.
    I haven't been through anything like that, so I don't have a great deal of advice, but I'm glad to see you put this in words.
     
  20. Knee Rider

    Knee Rider Valued Member Supporter

    Find an appropriate time to apologise to your girlfriend and explain how you feel, in the lightest and most collected way you can muster. She'll likely listen, understand and appreciate the vulnerability and honesty.

    Hopefully it'll clear the bad air and priove cathartic
     
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