Depression Coming Back

Medication is not a short term fix so much....like a diabetic with insulin some people need them for the long term.

 

Definitely, some people use them short term, whilst the talking therapies etc take time to work, others use them longer term to help counteract a chemical imbalance.

My main point was to seriously consider using a medical proven treatment.

 

atm

I keep telling myself

in a insane world a sane man must appear insane :topic:

 

Hello Chadderz,

As many said, is very brave of you to write this.
I know that many here laugh at what I write, but I am always being sincere, and have no bad intention.

If you consider, in the meantime, you can watch this. Is an aid, and it helped me, not only with training, but in recovering from the bike accident I had last year. Try to follow the exercises he shows, exactly as he says, and you can get a relief.

I hope that you will recover soon from this moment.

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oe37bq88BA"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oe37bq88BA[/ame]

 

I play music that makes me cry, it helps me.

better than all the ciggy burns i have

 

Just to add to the med-subject: I can totally understand that fear, but not all of them actually do change you in that "bad way".

I got SSRIs years ago and all these did was to stop serotonin from getting reabsorbet again too fast.
I don't remember much (because of the time it's been, not because of the medications!), but apparently it helped a bit.


Maybe you can let check your vitamin D.
A lack of that then cause or make depression worse.
I don't know too much about that, but I'm not saying that if it is a lack of Vitamin D, it will become easy right away.

I have quite some troubles myself with social contancts and tons of it - and I nearly changed into a new person, now that I take medication.
And mine is a 100% natural product (valerian, melissa and hop; I could eat those like candy without too much danger) that doesn't intervene with your brain chemicals or anything.

Several people told me by now, that I changed (in a *very* positive way) and even though I hated it at first, I'm glad for it right now.

My point being: You might want to not rule them out completely, but maybe at least give it thought.
Might be worth it, in case it makes you feel better again.


And I agree with the others: Not everyone would have the guts, to be so open about it.
Personally I wouldn't, if it weren't a foreign forum
Respect.

And I hope, you find a way so you can get better soon.
Might become a hard fight, but you seem to be a fighting nature.
Good luck!

 

Hey folks, don't really have much experience with the topic, but I figured this may be worth mentioning.

I've been doing a breathing/cold water exposure type training, called the Wim Hof method for a few weeks now.

The practice has a significant amount of scientific evidence behind it, but more so in relation to the immune system than depression, though I may be wrong here, I only researched it from an immune system angle, I. E.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4034215/

Anyhow, the founder does claim it has a positive impact on depressive conditions. Personally, I do see myself having a noticeably better mood after the practice, tends to last most of the day, as well as milder reaction to stress.

I just had a quick look for some anecdotal evidence too, and it seems quite a few people do report marked improvement in their depressive conditions.

Hope this will be of use to some of you. If you want to do more research, a good place to start is the "Iceman" documentary on Vice, Joe Rogan episode with Wim is pretty good too, there's a lot more info onine, on his site, youtube, etc etc. At the very least, it will be entertaining, the guy has done a lot of crazy stuff and holds a good few records, stuff like going up everest in shorts and running a marathon in a dessert without drinking, and so on..

All the best!

Oh and hey, if you do give it a shot, for depression or not, please share your experiences. Cheers!

 

i'm on meds, they are helping me

nhs recommended meds

abilifi and valium, and propanalol, i'm a bit manic atm

 

This is good advice (in a roundabout way).

When I was younger and had similar feelings, art was a definite way to focus the mind long enough to alleviate immanent self-destructive feelings.

I was into drawing at the time so instead of slashing my wrists I would spend three hours drawing an intricate picture of the same. Now, that is morbid and probably not that healthy, but I think that in the darkest times the principle is sound.

I don't know how popular this will be with the MAP crowd, but if you are feeling these kind of insecurities then perhaps competition is not the best thing for you at the moment. Maybe concentrate on the technique and the art. At any time you feel you are on the brink, give the best technical practice you can muster. If you have any interest in playing music or making art, use that too.

I know how it feels to think that the world would be better off without you, but at the same time you also know that it is just your perspective at that time. You're not dumb enough not to see that. So treat yourself like a child; use distraction and chiding to get to a place where you can think rationally for a moment.

If you want to think brass tacks about talking to someone on the phone or via email, don't forget that they would never volunteer to do it if they wouldn't get the chance to talk to someone. Often it's because they have been in the same place too. It would surprise you to find out how many people have.

Get it out. Find a release.

Listen to Latikos about meds. It's no different from taking supplements for physical health. Just a tool, a means to an end.

Be well, and don't forget that you won't be the same person next week mentally, and you are entirely a different set of cells every seven years. No need to speed up the process, you impatient so-and-so-that-I-can't-write-on-MAP.

EDIT: However well intentioned, that was a ramble.

Bottom line: feelings are transient. They will change.

 

Don't be. Get educated on them.

I'm going to summarize the lowest part of my life so far. I had PTSD and a brain injury when I started boxing. I got a second brain injury. I was bed ridden for a month literally urinating in bottles and using baby wipes to stay clean. Brain injury healed up within a couple months but I didn't know because my ex wife wouldn't take me to the hospital for appointments because her law school was too important. My PTSD anxiety symptoms manifested themselves as what the brain injury symptoms were, so I thought my brain was still messed up. Again I didn't know this because I couldn't get to enough appointments for them to figure it out. I also refused medication any time I did get to go. After a year and a half of rotting away in a one bedroom apartment, unable to go outside due to anxiety and depression, I begged my ex wife to let me get help from my family in Florida (I stayed for "her emotional support."). She said yes, my family came and got me, two weeks later she calls and tells me she wants a divorce.

I got set up through the Veterans Affairs system to get help, and the first thing that happened was a very bossy, angry at me for getting a brain injury for boxing woman told me I needed to get on medication to see if it was my brain or PTSD that was messing with me.

She put me on Citalopram (SSRI).

I started seeing almost an instant improvement (very small, but enough to start putting one foot in front of the other). Worst thing about it, I couldn't orgasm.

I got set up with a psychiatrist, and she put me on Propanalol (slows heart rate) and Venlafaxine (SNRI, inhibits seratonin and norepinephrine reuptake). I stopped taking Propanalol when I started getting a grip on things and my heart rate didn't bug me out to where my anxiety got the best of me. I was up to 250mg of Venlafaxine, now I'm down to 150mg.

Worst thing is a decreased sex drive, but only when I'm alone. Put a beautiful woman next to me and my sex drive has no problem.

The medication, it doesn't solve the issue. It gives you breathing room to deal with the issue. If your depression is so significant it is hindering you from getting out of bed in the morning, seeing somebody for talk therapy (a psych, the wizard, whatever you want to call em') is something that will probably benefit you. Learning techniques and tools to manage the issues is far more important than relying on medication, but medication will give you room to do that. Don't read drug reviews by people, but study up on them and tell whomever might be prescribing them what you're looking into and what you think might help, and ask them for their advice.

Now, back to my story that I opened up with. Exercise and a good diet have helped me tremendously with managing my depression, not always my anxiety. Beyond that, on rough days for depression I have a few different things that work for me. I wake up every day hating life (I personify life), and I put one foot in front of the other just to spite it (I'm not joking. This is my actual motivation. It's good to have an enemy.). Another motivation is that I want to have a family one day, so there are financial and personal goals that I work on for the wife and children I might be blessed with some day. My mother, father, and siblings are also a motivation for me. Positive thinking and acknowledging my own accomplishments and competence when I'm down helps me get along sometimes (and doing that is HARD for me, because I'm a very cynical and negative person : P). Sometimes all the techniques and practice you learn in talk therapy don't work, and you have to find something deep to your core to help you through.

I see you've mentioned working out a lot to help manage. This will probably help but keep in mind you might not always be able to rely on your body to keep going. That's part of what happened to me, as I was managing my depression and PTSD with A LOT of exercise with boxing, then I got a second brain injury from getting knocked out and I no longer had that management technique. Learn more than one trick.

If you ever have any questions about medication I know enough to point you in the right direction for researching things, I can ask professionals myself (although that might take time to do, because I don't see my psych as often anymore), and I have experience with them. If you want to talk, you can always hit me up on the book of faces.

 

As a side note Chadderz,

I shared the bit about myself and the situation that led to significant depression to set a context of, "I know how much life can suck." Validity is important to establish. I am aware that what I've been through is quite significant, but in no way is it said, or should you or anyone else take it as a statement of "things can be worse."

An important thing to note about workings of the brain is that it doesn't matter if you watched ten friends blow up in front of you, or you watched your pet dog get hit by a car, or you've experienced nothing traumatic at all. Imbalances in the brain, or chemical changes due to emotional stress or traumatic experiences are going to be what they are, and their severity and how they impact us is not up for review by societies standards of measuring hardship. If we need help, we need help.

 

Chadderz I guess I don't have a whole lot of words of wisdom to write, but I want you to know that I've valued our interactions and have come to think of you as that weird kind of friend who you know well through text but you have never met. You're a cool dude and you make the world a little bit better for even the idiots who read your forum posts. :]

 

Yesterday I had a really overwhelmING feeling of wanting to cry. Eventually I did and came close a few times after. Today I feel absolutely normal. It's frustrating to constantly feeling so drastically different.


Everyone's support has been outstanding and I can't thank you all enough. I promise I'll keep you all updated on if it gets better or worse.

 

Have you been to your GP and arranged talking therapy?

 

Different things work for different people. I've suffered from depression all my life and still do, but I know how to deal with it. It's not like when people feel they are getting a cold and start necking vitamin C and orange juice, it's stuff I do all the time.

When I was younger I would listen to all these nihilistic bands that had songs about depression and suicide. Suicidal Tendencies is a good example, with songs like Suicide's an Alternative, Suicidal Failure etc etc. They made a whole career of it. I used to think that I could relate to the songs and that would make me feel better. But after a while I realised I was just wallowing in depression...or my own self pity.

These days I try and surround myself with happy-happy-joy-joy things. Whether it's people, music, TV....whatever. Oh and lots of meditation. I try and keep away from negativity. It's a constant war against "bad thoughts". If I am feeling bad, I'll slap on some fun music and save the sad songs or songs about about committing suicide for when I am feeling ok.

Rambling.

Seriously, blast out some fun music and dance your socks off around the house when you're feeling bad...drop some capo moves into your dancin'. Might work. Works for me.

Edit: I also "trained" myself to view any bad situation in a positive light. Girlfriend dumped me, should I be sad about that or happy 'cause i can go out and get a better one?

 

'Morning Pages' is a form of journal therapy I used, and continue to use, to great effect. I hope it will help.

http://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/

 

What do you do with it though? Just write and leave it? Or go back and review it?

 

Thanks

Yes, much better than self medicating.

And thanks Chadderz this thread helped eaze my mind last night. I was in a state of rage, directed at the world and the future.

 

Entirely up to the author. The therapy is mostly in the process - a venting of thoughts to help de-clutter the mind. I cheated a bit and did mine on my iPhone Word app, but it was no less effective. I found going back and reading previous entries was a great exercise in reflection; I was surprised how far I've come.

 

Ok. Thanks.

Curious as I know people who have done similar as part of therapy. IIRR, they'd talk about what they wrote with their therapist and use the writing as part of the sessions.