Dear ITech

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by iamraisen, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. iamraisen

    iamraisen Valued Member

    Dear ITech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
    distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower
    and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
    programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0
    no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3
    to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

    Signed,
    Desperate
    ------------------

    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
    1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command:

    C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically
    install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
    then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But
    remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default
    to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

    WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.
    CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a
    supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.


    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
    and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
    additional software to improve memory and performance.

    I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck,Tech Support

    ------------------

    Dear Technical Support,

    18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2 , which I
    had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently
    conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and
    run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

    To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
    applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

    Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

    I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a
    virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

    Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same
    time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they
    caused severe damage to my hardware.

    I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product
    soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up
    all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and
    Cleanhouse2006.

    Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very
    unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in
    Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months
    later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary,
    Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and
    Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to
    guess what the problem is.

    Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring
    ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be
    reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab
    93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

    Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which
    can't be turned off.

    Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2006, but there could be
    problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0
    detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before
    uninstalling itself.
     

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