Children's freedom?

My dad and i got into this discussion the other night. Apparently most religious folk find it absolutely fine to take their kids to church at the ripe old age of oh....6 or 7. Before they can really grasp any of it, but thats aside the point. Lets say that your child decides they want to explore a DIFFRENT religion, do you allow them the luxury and take the to a diffrent service? or do you force your own beliefs on them? what would YOU do?

 

I have not crammed "my" religion down my childs throat. I explain my beliefs and why I believe in them. I do not tell him that he has to believe what I am telling him but I can show where I get my information. I also telling, that he can make up his own mind about what I believe but that he will have to provide facts, and logical reasoning, to back up his decisions. Yes, if he wanted to explore another religion, or none at all, he is free to do that.

 

Since my children have expressed a desire to not go to school, do I honor that desire too? I know of kids that loved to explore the burners on stoves, do we honor that desire? I hope you would answer no to both of those.

As a parent, I take a great deal of thought to what I want to expose my kids to. Part of that is religion. Although I have kids older than you, I have never had them say, I am not going to church. If they did and are at an age where they can make reasonable decisions, I would honor it. But at 7? They are going to go to church just like they are going to clean their room and attend school.

 

I don’t think you can compare things like going to school and cleaning their room with religious/philosophical studies. Teaching discipline, basic skills, common courtesy etc… are the job of a parent. Defining your relationship with the world is a personal matter and it’s something that comes in its own time (for some it may come at age 6, for others still it hasn’t come at age 80). It’s my job to nurture the idea but not to make the decision.

I’ve always thought it a bit odd that we associate knowledge of sex as the end of innocence when it’s actually the knowledge of your own mortality that ends childhood.

 

THANK YOU!!!

Seriously, I never met a seven year old who walked in the front door one day and said "mommy and daddy, I find your religious beliefs oppressive and will be converting immediately."

They have a basic (and I mean *basic*) understanding of religion, and certainly don't have the knowledge or experience to differentiate between Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Realistically, they wouldn't be able to understand the difference between Wicca and Christianity.

Would it be a good idea to expose kids to other religions, sure. Will they be exposed to them through life, of course. But the only thing they know at that age is one day of gifts versus seven.

 

Personally, I beleive that educating your children in the matters of spirituality and philosiphy are as integral to their growth as putting them through school and making them do things they don't want to (like cleaning their room).

I don't have kids, but that's my opinion.

 

I find it very rare that they even want to enter into the subject of religion at all, without some outside influence. When they start to ask those types of questions it's time to start thinking about exposing them to the material and think about involvement with organizations. Until that time I think it's best to let them be, there will be plenty of time to ponder the heavy questions later in life. Childhood is the one magical time when you are completley free of these types of concerns.

 

That's a mighty advanced 6 year old you got going there, Tekken. At 6 years old, children do not have the capacity to make important decisions for themselves like that. I mean, would you make a 6 year old decide what career path they are going to take and make them stick to it? There would be a lot of ballarinas, princesses, firement and astronaughts running about and not a heck of a lot else.

At 6 years old, the parent's job is enculturation. This is when the child learns what is right and wrong in the culture in which they are growing. Children start becoming individuals (in the abstract sense) in adolescence and as a young adult. If a 16 year old came up and said they wanted to explore a different religion, then that is worth talking over. If a 6 year old declared they no longer wanted to go to church, well, that's just too bad.

Further, there is a propensity to attempt to treat small children like small adults. I have heard parents trying to work out compromises and negotiations with 4 year olds. Four year olds have no concept of the future, but there's Mommy trying to explain how Sally is going to regret touching a hot stove in 10 years when she gets scarred. Jesus!

 

Perhaps we could alter the question slightly to fit with 6 year olds?

Perhaps we could ask ourselves what we would do if we have an otherwise obedient child cries and screams blue murder whenever they are taken to the church/temple/mosque and says every time they enter they’re uneasy and just hate the place (in a much stronger way then just 'I dont want to go').

If they have a very negative reaction every time you took them in what would you do?

 

damn, GREAT quote!

 

What if they say they just get a 'very bad feeling' whenever they enter the church/temple/stone circle? no apparent reason, just a very bad feeling. I know it would be very rare for a 6 year but it is Conceivable. A relative of mine had this sort of experiance whilst they where being force to go to church.

Remember we'er not just talking 'I dont want to go' we'er talking kid practicaly throws up when you even mention your choosen place of worship

 

I think that would be more of an indication that someone is hurting my child then a condemnation of the religion I choose. Children don't know if the religion or beliefs of their parents are right or wrong at that stage because they are only beginning to develope right and wrong.

 

I agree.

I agree with Richard Dawkins when he calls it a form of child abuse to label a 6 year old a ‘Catholic child’ or a ‘Muslim child.’ And that includes an ‘Atheist child’ (despite it being the default position.)

Children simply don’t have the intellect to have knowledge and an opinion on the cosmos, and make life affecting decisions, yet society simply assumes that a child inherits their parent’s views on such issues. We don’t assume this with other issues, we don't assume a child is ‘Liberal child’, or a ‘Conservative child.’

I don’t believe Children should grow up ignorant just because their parents are.

 

Homer J, uh yeah, most children do inherit at least one of their parent's religion. In my case, it was the Catholic faith. In my friends case, Judeism (sp?). In my son's case, Christian. Is he labeled a Christian? Maybe by someone who would ask his mother or me what faith he is, or if they ask him. Would someone then label him? Is it not fair to assume that children would learn what their parent's find important? Including religion? No, did he make the decision to be Christian? No, of course not. No more then he made the decision to go to the school he attends, or the do jang he attends, or the MA he studies. Why did I, as a parent (ignorant or not), make these decisions for my child? Because I think exposure to these things will provide structure, discipline, focus, critical thinking. I believe each will play a role in completing his growth as a responsible, productive, citizen. Is he bound my decree that he accept my religion. No, he can make his choice whenever he feels it important to do so. For me, it took 33 years to make that change.

 

I really don't see anyone referring to any children as Catholics. Usually that is something you say about adults or about the family. The same way with any of the other religions.

Are you really trying to imply that teaching my children about religion is child abuse?

 

Bump^^!