Calling the police for the first time

I live in an apartment building with seven appartments on seven floors. In the neighboring appartment, there lives a family with a young girl, approximately 4 years old. And tonight, at 4:30 am, I was woken up by her crying, loud enough to wake me through the wall separating us. I was a bit annoyed, but told myself she's young and the parents will surely calm her down soon. But they didn't. I started to think that they just didn't care and spoiled the kid, letting her cry and wail as she pleased. What surprised me, though, was, that she was, in her cry, calling her mum constantly. When my mind cleared enough to think about it a bit more. After she's kept crying for more than an hour with no breaks or anything suggesting she's being calmed down by someone, still calling for mommy, a thought occured to me: What if something happened to her mum and there's no one elso home? Or what if she's there all alone?
As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I put some more clothes on and went to knock the neighbor's door and ring their doorbell, both several times. It was loud enough, but no one responded and the girl never stopped her cry.
The only, or the best thing I could do at the moment, I thought, at least, was to be decisive and call the police, who could check if everythings fine. And I did. It ended well, though. In the middle of my calling them, I heard footsteps in the corridor and saw a women approaching the appartment with a key. So I told the person I was speaking to that it's alright, the mother just returned, so everything will be solved.
The mum herself, when I explained to her my intention, with my cellphone still at my ear, explaned that her daughter was home with her grandma. The girl was sick and lately she keeps calling for mommy. The grandma must have fallen asleep. I am glad it was explained and everything was fine. I just hope the granma was really there, as I have no idea how she could possibly sleep through what I thought must have woken all the appartments nearby and through my ringing the doorbell and knocking the doors. A lot.

Calling the police would have probably been pointless, but I would still do it. I couldn't have been sure if something bad really diddn't happen. And maybe the kid in such a distress was bad by itself, although I am not sure if the police visit would really help her.

Was it a good idea or just me overreacting? What would you have done?

 

You did the right thing, any quarter decent parent would rather have the police called unnecessary then have had something go wrong and have they're child put in danger.

However that said in general kids do cry, especially if they're teathing, so obviously there's a balance here.

 

Thanks. You are right, I wouldn't think of doing something, but what was strange was that even afte an our of constant crying, it was fairly obvious no one was there to try to calm her down. I would have heard. That was what made me nervous and think that if there was someone with her, maybe that person was in trouble. Maybe not the most logical conclusion, but in my lack of experience with kids I thought if it wasn't something really distressing for the girl, she would get tired and stopped crying after a while, but it looks like she wouldn't.

 

Having only being a parent for three ish months, I know close to nothing but even if the kid is teething, you'd still be comforting them, purely guessing here but either the gramma is v deaf, or there's a chance the mum may of left her home alone for a few hours, which is not ideal, but I can see it happening if it's a single parent, especially if there super poor.

 

You did the right thing! Good on you.

 

Correct course of actions

Too many people dontwant to get involved these days

 

Yup . Well done.

 

At least you are in the process of getting an idea

Yes, but considering how little the girl is, the grandma shouldn't be that old... I was also knocking the door really loudly as well as the door bell... so I am thinking maybe there was no one with the girl.
I suppose there are circumstances where you have no other choice then to leave your kid home alone. But it was probably more than just a few hours since the mum returned at 5:45 AM... she wasn't drunk or anything so I am inclined to think it was about a night shift, perhaps. Too bad the dad wasn't home, either.
Super poor they are definitely not. The building we live in was built a year and a half ago. No poor family could probably afford or would choose to live here. And they do not look poor, either. More like a normal family.

 

Thank you guys. That is quite reassuring as I really wasn't sure if I should or shouldn't. But I told myself it's better to be safe and sory and that I shouldn't stay indifferent and should be decisive in cases where people may potentially need help.

 

Legally In many countries you are not allowed to leave your child unattended until a certain age, so even if it's not illegal in your state, it's certainly potential child endangerment, emergencies do happen, and life isn't perfect, but if it happens regularly I'd definitely consider contacting your version of social services.

Edit a very brief Google search

"Only three States currently have laws regarding a minimum age for leaving achild home alone. Illinois law requireschildren to be 14 years old before being left alone; in Maryland, the minimum age is 8, while in Oregon,children must be 10 before being left home alone."

Edit more here
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&s...HBNwQFggmMAE&usg=AOvVaw37vpCiJor91gBFX9R-lFxe

 

Yes, better safe then sorry. But still, I would think that adults might be able to solve the situation by themselves more easily than a young kid. The girl was helpless, but it was difficult to judge if something really happened or not.

I agree.

 

Good point.
I am not sure if it is really illegal, but I believe if the police arrived and found out the child was at home alone, especially if she was sick and in the night, the social care personnel would have been definitely called and they would probably monitor the family at least for some tim.
However, this is the first time I noticed any problem there and I understand situations like that may happen to anyone (we are all just people and they probably had reasons) and I don't think the child there is abused in any way, so I don't want to cause the trouble for the family. I believe it would be stressful for the child, too. If similar things were happening regularly, it would have been something else.
One thing that didn't cross my mind before was that the situation could be solved easily if I had a phone umber of the mother. I won't be trying to make it into a big thing now, but if any problem happens again, I will ask her for it. It would be bette to contact her first, before going about it the official way.

What you wrote is also why i do have some doubts if there really was a grandma inside or not. The mother could have told me just in order not to worry and to not admit she left the kid there alone.
On the other hand, as I explained the situation to her briefly, she did thank me far caring. After she went home, the girls calmed down and stopped the crying soon.

 

You did the right thing.

Concern for welfare, especially kids, is important.

While we may grumble at attending jobs like these as we are usually busy, we will always go as 'saving life and limb' is a cops first priority.

If it happens again, call again. Just from the way you worded it it sounded like the child was home alone and the parent made excuses when challenged.

 

You got me curious now. There seems to be no law telling you you can't leave your child home alone here. However, if the child was severely injured or died during parents' absence, it would be a crime and the parents could end up in prison for a few years.
I suppose the child of such a low age shouldn't be left home alone. Especailly when sick and in the night, as I said. Luckily, nothing happened. If the mum hadn't come when she did, the police would have been on their way, though.

 

Do you mind me sharing stories of when I called the police? I don't want to like... crowd your moment or derail your thread.

 

Oh no, I'd love discussion and reading about other people's experience! Please go ahead!

 

Ok, so I've called the police three times in my life.

1) I was staying in a hotel and heard screaming and fighting next door. Lots of banging around. I thought about calling the police, but it wasn't until I heard a woman say "Somebody please help me," that I called them. I don't know what happened after that.

2) Someone had chained a dog in my backyard with no food and water, and the chain had started to cut open its neck and legs. I called animal control, they told me to call the police. So I did. Nothing came of it.

3) I was up one night having a few drinks with friends and I saw flashlights in the bonsai garden. I went outside to see what was going on and who the heck was out there, and saw six police officers in the garden. They hadn't mistaken my Japanese maples for marijuana, apparently a dude had robbed a bank nearby with an AR-15 and had run through the creek that my yard butts up against. I figure, I don't want none of that, so I went back into my house and that's when I realized: my garage was open. I called the police to tell them that the garage was open, someone could have gone in there to hide and they were free to search the premises if they felt the need.

 

Definitely the right choice.

My kids will often cry for mummy even though I'm there helping them when they have been unwell. That being said, there is usually some change when I'm there, and if it wasn't stopping for an hour I would be doing something about it, going to hospital or walking then around the house.
If they are well and just playing up, then it usually fizzles out quick enough with some sort of distraction.

I would rather my neighbour called the police if it were to go in that long in case something had happened to us and the kids didn't know what to do at that age.

It's a sad truth that there isn't a minimum legal age in many places, you hope in most circumstances that parents will leave someone capable of helping or calling for help

 

1) Oh, good you did. This reminds me, when I was in my later teens, 18, I think, I heard meighbors argue very loud, even come to the corridor for some time, calling each other names and generally acting violently. Then I heard glass breaking and the men crying loudly, seemingly probably in pain. I have to say, I was home alone and was very scared of that, probably reminded also of some arguments I've been part of when younger, so I am generally terrified of things like that. I had already prepared the number for police, but in the end, didn't call. After this incident, the crying subsided. To be honest, I thought the men must have been injured quite a bit, at the very least. But in the end, my parents were in contact with those people. They didn't mention it, but the communication with them were alright, so I suppose nothing terrible happened. I hoped. I was really scared, though and later angry at myself that I didn't call the police after all. Maybe that's also part of a reason I decided to do it yesterday, because I am more determined to not let things be. And of course, there was no danger to me yesterday, but then, before, I would be too afraid to pass by their appartment. Ad there were other neighbors, too, ignoring the incident as well.

3) Wow, a robber in a garage... it's good you weren't put in any danger in the end. Do you know how it ended?

Yes, there definitely wasn't anyone by the kid. I mean, I can't be sure if anyone was int eh flat, but the girls was alone in the room, I am certain of that. She didn't make any pauses as if someone was talking to her or comforting her. It was dead silent in the night. I would have heard if there was talking, movement or whatever. As I did when the mum came later. And the girl reacted to her by calmin down step by step. As you say, I am sure, if someone was there by her side, theyd have made something to calm her down, even if to call the mum.
That's what I expected at first - her crying for a few mintues at most and stopping. But she seemed really desperate. Maybe really becasue no one was coming when she was crying and alone.

Yes, she's way too young to be left home alone like that, especially if sick. I have no way of knowing if they taught her to call someone if something happened and she was too desperate that she didn't or it was becasue she was sick or forgot obout it or nothing really happened and she was just sad. Anyway, it is good example for me of what not to do if I ever have my own kids...