BBQ Rules

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by cheesypeas, Jun 9, 2008.

  1. cheesypeas

    cheesypeas Moved on


    We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

    When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:


    (1) The woman buys the food.
    (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

    Here comes the important part:


    More routine....

    (5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
    (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

    Important again:


    More routine....

    (8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
    (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

    And most important of all:
    (10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
    (11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
  2. inthespirit

    inthespirit ignant

    BBQ's certainly do RULE! :D
  3. Yohan

    Yohan In the Spirit of Yohan Supporter


    I wish my BBQ's went more like that.
  4. Gary

    Gary Vs The Irresistible Farce Supporter

    Women are so sexist.
  5. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Very good reason for this bit. It's a BBQ, salad?
  6. narcsarge

    narcsarge Masticated Whey

    I want to know where Carys going for BBQ? It never works that way in my house. I have tried (unsuccessfully) for 17 years to adobt the "if one cooks, the other cleans" in my home routine. Now that I have a son, he gets the cleaning part. As for the rest of it, if I don't pull it out, prep, cook, and serve, ......

    We get take out.... :mad::p
  7. Taffyleigh

    Taffyleigh Valued Member

    All this talk about bbq's is making me hungry, i'll have to see if my wife is busy!

    She just suggested somewhere to stick the bbq, but i don't think it will fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  8. Light123

    Light123 Give Up On Giving Up

    Ditto. ;)
  9. Taffyleigh

    Taffyleigh Valued Member

    Might have a bbq this afternoon, not the best thing to have before going training though but have to make most of the weather!!!
  10. cheesypeas

    cheesypeas Moved on

    Seeing as you live near where I was born...I wouldn't mind betting that if your better half is also Valley Welsh, it will be a case of "if you want to play at being the barbie chef you can do it all byt" So, dont burn yourself before training!!:p
  11. Taffyleigh

    Taffyleigh Valued Member

    Had a little bbq, just the family, might have been to much though, had a job to move about during training(eyes bigger than my belly, which is big enough!!!).Will have to arrange a big bbq one day, all the Welsh Mappers perhaps and anybody else willing to travel!! Where are you originally from Carys?
  12. WalkingThePath


    NO NO NO NO NO!!! This just isn't right. Not right at all.

    THIS is how a real BBQ goes:

    1 - Man and woman realise that today is sunny, and therefore they have a chance to use the ridiculously overpriced BBQ they bought last year and have used once.
    2 - Whilst contacting all of their friends, man and woman head to local supermarket, where they split up to buy supplies.
    3 - Man buys: 4 crates of beer, 3 multipacks of beef burgers, 2 packs of cheese singles, 1 pack of burger buns.
    Woman buys: Salad, 1 pack of burger buns,(for the BBQ) shower gel, toothpaste, washing up liquid, furniture polish, (because we need them anyway, and why come to the shops twice?) and a fashion magazine (because it has a really interesting article about the new blah blah blah...)
    4 - Once home, they fire up the BBQ even though it is at least 3 hoursbefore anyone turns up.
    5 - The man stands over the BBQ drinking beer, and viciously poking anyone who comes close. "My BBQ! MINE!!"
    6 - The woman prepares the salad, and lays out the cheese and buns.
    7 - The man cooks the burgers, which are thoroughly charcoaled by the time guests arrive.
    8 - The male guests all stand outside, closest to the BBQ being the most important.
    9 - The women stand in the kitchen.
    10 - Everyone gets drunk, and eats over or under cooked food.
    12 - The BBQ is left out, uncovered, and it rains overnight.

    Now THATS a BBQ!!
  13. Rob T.

    Rob T. Valued Member

    Oh my God! - You've been following me?????:mad:

    *checks for hidden cameras*
  14. WalkingThePath


    Check all you like rob, you will never find them!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  15. Cait

    Cait da Bionic is BACK!

    All this talk of men & their BBQs... very silly.


  16. cheesypeas

    cheesypeas Moved on

    I'm from Pengam, Rhymni Valley...was mainly raised in Coed Duon (Blackwood) Sirhowi Valley. Typical Valley Gal, me!!

    How bout you?
  17. Rob T.

    Rob T. Valued Member

    That's not a euphemism is it?:p
  18. CosmicFish

    CosmicFish Aleprechaunist

    Hilarious! Even funnier than the original post (sorry carys :D)

    And Cait - fire is a primal male thing. We just have to stand around a bonfire - it's what they're for. And you can quickly work out the alpha male of the group, because he'll be the one standing closest and poking the fire the most.

    But yes, like most things that us men find fun, it is all very silly really. :D
  19. Cait

    Cait da Bionic is BACK!

    No no, you guys misunderstand me. The fire belongs to ME. Men don't really know how to handle it ;) The silliness is that they think they can :D
  20. CosmicFish

    CosmicFish Aleprechaunist

    Come too near to my fire and you'll end up as fuel.


    *Beats chest*

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