Aussie Bricklayer's Report...

Cait · Feb 27, 2008

I can't imagine this really being true, but either way.. it's certainly good for a laugh!

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident
report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of
the Workers' Compensation board.

This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award
for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for
additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation
and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found
that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be
slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in barrel
by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the
sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the
rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being
jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to
let go of the rope. Needless to
say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed

in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you

again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down 0the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed
to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks
and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey
back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.
Click to expand...

narcsarge · Feb 27, 2008

God does have a sense of humor!

holyheadjch · Feb 27, 2008

lol

on a similar theme,

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has NEVER had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Click to expand...

tideliar · Feb 27, 2008

LMAO Awesome!

Lou, your one I remember being as a song by some comedy guy back in the late 80s...the name eludes me now. Furlong? Hoffnung? Anyone over 30 wanna help here?

Actually the Mythbusters did that bricklayr/rope/pulley/bricks thing a couple of weeks ago. I missed the end...sorry

adouglasmhor · Feb 27, 2008

lamaTKD cait said:

I can't imagine this really being true, but either way.. it's certainly good for a laugh!
Click to expand...

It was a hit song in the UK in the 50s or 60s only it's an Irish brickie.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWeXpNyqOrU"]Noel Murphy - Murphy and the Bricks (Pat Cooksey) - YouTube[/ame]

Shadow_of_Evil · Feb 28, 2008

Actually the Mythbusters did that bricklayr/rope/pulley/bricks thing a couple of weeks ago

Weeks ago? It was one of their VERY FIRST episodes.

Nii · Feb 28, 2008

I doubt it's true. We use kg, not lbs for starters.

2E0WHN · Feb 28, 2008

adouglasmhor said:

It was a hit song in the UK in the 50s or 60s only it's an Irish brickie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWeXpNyqOrU
Click to expand...

Sung by the folk Group The Corries. They can do nothing but laugh at the song they are singing.

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Aussie Bricklayer's Report...

Cait da Bionic is BACK!

narcsarge Masticated Whey

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adouglasmhor Not an Objectivist

Shadow_of_Evil wants to go climbing...

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Aussie Bricklayer's Report...

Cait da Bionic is BACK!

narcsarge Masticated Whey

holyheadjch Valued Member

tideliar Valued Member

adouglasmhor Not an Objectivist

Shadow_of_Evil wants to go climbing...

Nii Valued Member

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