Ask Greyghost 2.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Greyghost, Sep 19, 2004.

  1. Greyghost

    Greyghost Alllll rrigghty then!

    Does anyone remember the ask Greyghost thread that ran for a while ???...well ask away..my problem gnomes are fully rested and are in need of a challange.

    So please, if you have any questions, no matter how bizarre, please ask and i will do my best to answer them.

    Here's the last thread if you want to see the previous incarnation.

    http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1320

    Bring on the questions.....
     
  2. Saz

    Saz Nerd Admin

    Dear Uncy Greyghost,

    Why is it whenever I drop my toast, it always lands Jam side down?

    Luv
    Kgirl
     
  3. Greyghost

    Greyghost Alllll rrigghty then!

    That is one of lifes great unsolved mysteries, and i believe has something to do with noel edmonds, a pickled onion and sub-atomic equations, but i fear the real answer is unfortunatly beyond even my power...however i can offer a solution to stop it happening.

    Well...we all know that cats always land feet first, so simply tie your toast to a cats back, butter and apply jam as normal, then , if you do drop it, it will never hit the floor jam side first....you may have trouble retrieving aforementioned toast from slightly angry cat , but thats a problem for another time.


    ps...only attached the bread to the cat AFTER and i repeat AFTER you have toasted it.
     
  4. YODA

    YODA The Woofing Admin Supporter

    Dear Unkie GG

    I have a rare condition of Scottish origin.

    It's a Kidney problem.

    Some days I just Kidney be bothered doing anything!!!

    Is there a cure? Does it (Please!) involve single malt whisly?
     
  5. booksie_girl

    booksie_girl Lucy the Terrible

    I must contradict. Taken from http://www.begent.net/toast.htm

    Subject: Perpetual Motion

    When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.

    Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground.

    If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

    How's that for a scientific mind? :D
     
  6. Mu Ryuk

    Mu Ryuk Banned Banned

    Perhaps, however this still keeps the toast from hitting the ground. Might get fur on it though.

    :D
     
  7. Freeform

    Freeform Fully operational War-Pig Supporter

    Dear Unkie GeeGee,

    I keep falling over and hitting my head on the ground whenever I'm walking home in the dark, what is causing this and how can I stop it?

    Also, I always seem to have a really bad headache every morning, how can I stop that too?

    Cheers,

    Col
     
  8. Greyghost

    Greyghost Alllll rrigghty then!


    hmmm..this does indeed sound like a rare and dabilitiating disease found only in scotland, known as " ". It truly is a nasty condition.

    Now, i've spleen told that if you can stomach the treatment, which is apparently a traumatic proceedure called "Work", and you have the heart to continue with the proceedure and can colon someone to help rehabilitate you, you may well survive. However inevitably this will lead to a relapse of the condition which will set in around 65, they call this "Retirement".

    I hope you pull through.
     
  9. Greyghost

    Greyghost Alllll rrigghty then!

    it depends on the size of the cat and the size of the slice of toast...trust me..it works.
     
  10. Greyghost

    Greyghost Alllll rrigghty then!

    i would advise opening your eyes. Or give up the job in the coal mine.

    the headaches are caused by fluffydoc. She has a voodoo doll in your likeness ( a disney King Louie doll from jungle book ) and a supply of large pins, i can only recommend plying this woman with gifts till the headaches stop.
     
  11. Visage

    Visage Banned Banned

    GG,
    Why is it that only smarties have the answer??
     
  12. TkdWarrior

    TkdWarrior Valued Member

    Dear unc GG,

    tell me, why girls r bad drivers ? :D
    -TkdWarrior-
     
  13. TKDIreland

    TKDIreland TKDIreland Kicks Ass!!

    Dear unkie GG

    tell me why do foregin ppl keep ttellin me im cute and thats ive a loverly accent?? i jus dont understand them
     
  14. Taliar

    Taliar Train harder!

    Yoda

    In my experience moderate to large amounts of 'Single Malt' will help remove the 'Kidney' problem, by temporarily replacing it with 'This seems like a good idea'. However care must be taken as there are side effects. After taking the 'SM' cure you may experience 'That was a stupid idea' effects as well as a serious relapse of the 'kidney' problem. Prolonged use of 'SM' can turn a 'kidney' problem into a 'liver' problem.
     
  15. choconutjoe

    choconutjoe New Member

    Sorry to steal your steam greyhost... but the answer is quite simple. The side with the butter weighs more than the side without, so if the toast is dropped anything off prefect balance the butter will naturally gravitate to the bottom.
     
  16. johndoch

    johndoch upurs

    No its not GG was right. Its all about the pickle ;)
     
  17. choconutjoe

    choconutjoe New Member

    Oh wait, yeah sorry my bad, i forgot to take into account Noel Edmunds, I was factorising the Mr. Blobby value. A foolish mistake if ever there was one.
     
  18. johndoch

    johndoch upurs

    :rolleyes: :D :D

    Mr uncle GG. Where do lentils come from :confused:
     
  19. morphus

    morphus Doobrey

    Is Einstein's theory really relative? or were they just friends?
     
  20. Mrs Owt

    Mrs Owt New Member

    Dear Mr Uncle GG, sir, your highness,


    What IS the sound of one hand clapping?;)
     

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