Another "what would you have done" thread

Discussion in 'Self Defence' started by Southpaw535, May 27, 2011.

  1. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    I was walking home from wrestling just now and after a couple smashed bottles saw a guy smashed out of his tree in what looked like some random woman's face screaming at her to get out of his face which was made harder by the fact he was following her every step she took. I was kinda suprised to see no one even looking bothered including the couple people at the bus stop they were next to and worried about the woman I thought someone ought to step up. My thought process actually went something like this:

    "Oooo drama! wait...holy crap this could get really bad really fast. OK he's a big dude out of his tree and obviously has aggression problems so no way am I going to walk up to him and just tell him to back off. Hmm... Ok he has a crate of beer in that arm so I'll stroll past like everyone else, drop my bag and my glasses at the bus stop and tackle him. Confronting him verbally's only going to make him fully aware I'm here and on the small side... Cool walk past working fine... actually he is a pretty big dude ain't he... Oh I'm now 20 metres away and I just pressed the button for the traffic lights."

    Looking back from the lights I saw him walking my way which meant he's left the woman alone so all in all it was a win and I'm pretty confident I made the right decision since I'm not a skilled guy and I'm not a big guy either, if I jumped him and slipped up in any way he didn't look like he was going to know when to stop literally kicking my head in but I can't shake the feeling I should of done something. Hell I probably could of jumped on him and choked him quite easily but I pussied out because he was bigger. Actually I say bigger he was pretty much your average late 20 year old. Thinking about it now I think I was just scared of what would happen next, I'm sure I could get him on the ground from behind but then what? Try and armbar him? No. Stand up and stomp him? I'd like to but I haven't got the balls to do that to someone. I've gone off on someone once before but that was when I was the one compeltely flipping out and there wasn't a thought process. This was a big ol' street giving me plenty of time to play through the likely scenarios.

    Like I say I think I made the logical decision but that woman was ******* terrified. And I mean she was cowering like mad and looked beyond crying type scared. The other thing that's got to me is I've knocked a lot of people in the past for not stepping in when things are getting out of hand and I just did the exact same thing. I'm not ****ed from a "I'm a martial artist I shouldn't be scared of street fighting" perspective, although I do feel like I should be more comfortable fighting than some of the other people around, but just feel like I really betrayed that woman and left her to the wolves. As much as I like wolves I keep running it over in my head and for all I knew at the time he was about to throw her in the road, start laying into her, anything, and I was thinking that at the time.

    Ok not so much a "what would you have done" thing more that I just needed to get that off my chest and MAP's always been better for venting this sort of stuff compared to my mum but I am curious what others would have done in the situation and more specifically wether I shouldn't of given up so quickly on trying to talk him down?
    Last edited: May 27, 2011
  2. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Could they have been a couple? That gets dangerous.
  3. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Its possible but from the way she was walking, he was facing and what he was shouting it looked like she's told him not to do something and he wasn't happy about it. Yeah that could've been a couple thinking on it.
  4. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Another couple of years and it won't matter lefty. You'll be so much more skilled and bigger. You're not ready yet to be kicking off in the street
  5. Princess Haru

    Princess Haru Valued Member

    If seen it a couple of times, live fairly close to two hostels and get a lot of peeps of both genders walking about with a Special Brew or two. Last week I was cycling back from the gym and almost knocked off my bike as a large holdall whizzed past my basket and onto the road. Initially thought it was troublemaking but then just an argument that was getting theatrical. Across the road appeared to be worse with a woman screaming at some guy and what looked like two dangerous dogs about to set into each other. I had to check when I heard the screaming that it actually looked to be in control, well, in a sort of way. So I cycled on...
  6. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Any man who takes on two dogs probably carries his nuts in a wheelbarrow

    Not sure about that :p
    Dispassionately thats how I see it I'm not naiive enough to really believe me going for him would of ended well but it still feels crappy to leave her to it. I found it interesting that in my head I had a grand plan but my legs had the sense to keep walking
  7. Mushroom

    Mushroom De-powered to come back better than before.

    After the bloke left, I wouldve asked if the lady was ok and if she needed police or ambulance.
    But no i think you did the right thing (if I didnt end up doing something stupid myself)
  8. Simon

    Simon Moved on Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    There is not definative right or wrong and sometimes it is best to walk away, as hard as that feels. it is worse afterwards when you start questioning yourself.

    Today was a massive lesson. Even before they start fights and confrontations are scary. Don't get down on yourself, he had a potential weapon, you did not. He was aggressive and in his state would not have listened to reason. The risk of the situation escalating into something really nasty was huge and you could have made it worse.

    From what I know of you lefty you are one of the good guys. The feeling of helplessness is not nice. As martial artists we expect to be able to protect ourselves, loved ones and innocent bystanders. No good getting seriously hurt or worse in the process though.
  9. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Am I a bad person for reading that and briefly thinking checking up on a shook up woman might of had the slim chance of getting me laid? :eek:

    I did try and look for her when I saw the dude walking away but couldn't see her so I'm guessing she managed to walk/run away
  10. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Cheers Simon. Wise words as always.
  11. righty

    righty Valued Member

    You have a phone right? Hopefully you do if walking home alone at night.

    Call the cops. Say you're witnesses a women being attacked on the street (yes, verbal and physical posturing count as attacking) and give the location. If you say to watch, stay from a distance and reassess if any strikes are thrown or if it escalates further.

    But since he walked away nothing too bad came from it. You could have gone back and asked the lady if everything was OK.

    Depending on how out of the tree the dude was and how agressive he was you can still make the decision to make the call. That dude could just do it to the next person he walked past. And depending on the priority list the police have, they will decide whether they can make it, but at least you tried.
  12. 47MartialMan

    47MartialMan Valued Member

    In short, you saw a man and a women arguing or in a confrontation. You did nothing but though of what you could have, should have, or would have done.

    Is this it in the nutshell?
  13. Southpaw535

    Southpaw535 Well-Known Member Moderator Supporter

    Considered it but since he'd walked away I didnt think the police would feel much need to do anything

    Sort of. It wasn't just thinking about what I should of done I actively planned to do something then pretty much instinctively just walked on. The dragged out post helped with my mood normally I keep mine short and sweet when I can.
  14. d0ugbug

    d0ugbug learning to smile

    For you fella you done alright, I wouldn't worry about it that much all is fine no harm came of it I'm sure if it went the other direction you may have gotten involved!

    Me I would have walked passed and asked if she was ok or if she needed any help more than anything to let his focus turn on me so she could walk away, would be no need to go toe to toe unless you had to.

    IF it was a couple having a tiff in the street you could have soon became the focus of their attention having two nutters focusing on you is never a good thing, even more so if one of them is female, jumping on someone and choking them out is never a good idea when alcohol is involved either...

    You used your head first so kudos! :)
    Last edited: May 28, 2011
  15. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    That would have been one option :)
  16. Osu,

    I agree, if it is a couple, you are likely to have them both turn on you if you interfere. :(
    Nevertheless, I think I would have done the same as you are suggesting Doug, I might have passed and ask her if she was okay and/or needed help. :)

  17. Mushroom

    Mushroom De-powered to come back better than before.

    Depends, was she fit? :evil:
  18. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

    Fit? I'd settle for conscious....or still breathing if it is getting close to last orders
  19. Princess Haru

    Princess Haru Valued Member

  20. ArthurKing

    ArthurKing Valued Member

    Man, you're a martial artist, not a superhero. Whatever your training, real life is not the same as anything you've done before. You watched, no-one was hurt, end of story.

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