A Woman's Experiences in BJJ

Discussion in 'Brazilian Jiu Jitsu' started by Rhea, Apr 6, 2008.

  1. Frodocious

    Frodocious She who MUST be obeyed! Moderator Supporter

    I think the whole point of self defense is to get a comprehensive set of skills that give you the potential for dealing with a range of attacks, and BJJ covers the ground issue perfectly.
  2. btq66

    btq66 Valued Member

    Hi, i dont do BJJ, but i just came across this article.
    A good, interesting point of view, as most other people have pointed out.
    Just wish more women would highlight what they want, need, like and dislike about martial arts in general. Then there might be less of the bozo attitude that gets banded about and who's style is better than whos.
    More power to you!
  3. Martial_Mathers

    Martial_Mathers Capoeirista

    Great write-up! It's always interesting to hear the perspectives of women in the martial arts.
  4. Humblebee

    Humblebee PaciFIST's evil twin

    I understand the point of self defence thats why I've never thought Bjj was a fully rounded SD system as it only really covers groundwork.
    But in the scenario that was used earlier (rape) which would more than likely end up on the ground BJJ is perfect.
  5. Frodocious

    Frodocious She who MUST be obeyed! Moderator Supporter

    I think that's the interesting thing about 'self defence'. The attack that someone has to defend themselves from can be dependant on the sex of the victim. I suspect blokes are much more likely to get into a stand up type drunken pub brawl that goes to the ground by accident, whereas a woman is more likely to be the victim of a rape type attack, where the whole point of the attacker is to take it to the ground. Obviously this is a huge generalisation, but anyone taking a martial art for self defence purposes should be aware of the potential for different types of attack with totally different goals.
  6. Humblebee

    Humblebee PaciFIST's evil twin

    I agree-Also being a man I've only thought of SD from a man's point of view,ie pub brawl ect.
    Martial arts and RBSD are too male orientated and hopefully with people like you raising these issues things will change.

    Thank you.
  7. Spinmaster

    Spinmaster Valued Member

    Are you sure about this? I don't have any experience with RBSD (well, not yet at least) but from what I've read here on MAP, escaping mount, etc. is included in RBSD. And what about "model mugging"? Isn't this specifically designed to teach women to realistically defend themselves? As far as martial arts in general being male oriented, I disagree - some general examples of MA helping for females would be BJJ (already mentioned) protecting you when the attacker wants to take you down, Aikdio teaching how to control a larger person by use of anatomy, etc. And I recall some threads a while back that made an interesting point (that should be obvious, when you think about it :D) - the best training for a women is basically the same as for a man; train hard, train realistically, learn to FIGHT!
  8. Frodocious

    Frodocious She who MUST be obeyed! Moderator Supporter

    I don't think martial arts themselves are too male orientated. They are what they are. I do think that the public perception and advertising of martials art is the problem. That does tend to push the male combat side of things too much, which I'm sure puts off some women. Whereas the female orientated classes are either kickboxercise type things or short term self defence classes. As a woman, it can be daunting to go to a proper class for the first time and find it full of sweaty males! I know, I've done it often enough!

    Absolutely! Although, if training for self defence, the emphasis on the skill set needed might need to be adapted for a woman.
  9. vismitananda

    vismitananda Valued Member

    This thread is just like my sister. My 2nd sister is taking MMA lessons and the 3rd one is being fascinated with Karate.

    Being a woman is not the reason why they should not learn any Martial Arts skills.

    I was the one who told them to learn an xtreme art, or I supposed sport, then later they both enjoyed and loved it.
  10. monkeywrench

    monkeywrench Valued Member

    Great article. I'll have to pass this along to my wife who trains with me. She's lucky however. We have about an even number of guys/gals at our school. Some classes, it's mostly female!

    One question for anyone who can address it. How is BJJ in dealing with multiple attackers in a self defense scenario? I see someone asked about self defense for women. I'm quite sure it's very effective against one attacker.

    What I recall my current head instructor saying about this topic is ringing in my head right now. He says that grappling isn't the best way to go when you're thinking self defense. He says escape is your goal and going to the ground (which he is an expert at!) is only a last resort. Also, he says once you're on the ground grappling on opponent, the other(s) may be kicking the daylights out of you.
  11. forever young

    forever young Valued Member

    Hi, well dealing firstly with the issue of how bjj fares against multiple or armed assailants who are determined to cause you trauma. The answer is ..... It dont.

    To clarify this position further styles/systems that claim they are adept at dealing with either of these situations are generally deluded. To look at it from a simple point of view, could you handle two or even three of YOURSELF?? What about Two or three who are say bigger and /or stronger than you?? what about two or three of your teacher?? you begin to see how realisically survival or at the very least avoiding serious injury in an altercation that involves any of those variables is going to depend more on luck than anything else.

    To address the second issue of what your instructor told you, well from a self defence pov he is correct, but again you must look at the situation from the reverse. As he points out you must think its the worst place to be as it is hard to defend myself and i cannot run when i am on the ground, Therefore i must learn to defend myself so i can hopefully exert enough control that i may escape/reverse the position or failing that i have a slim, small but real chance of finishing the fight from underneath.
  12. gogok.k

    gogok.k Valued Member

    Yes, I rekon its important to summ up all possibilities in a real fight with big tough boneheads! Sorry if I seem dim-witted as I need to read more on BJJ, Heard lots about it, but don't know much? But have been reading many articles on martialarts.
  13. Mirceone

    Mirceone New Member

    Rhea don't forget not all males are macho,and not all off us can easily shift to an aggressive mental state(unless it's a real threat) ,especialy when we have a woman or a child in our sight(simulating an enemy).To some like my self you may think our instincts backfire on us.

    During my search for style that fits me I've been practicing in few clubs(first was a karate-isshinryu,then wing chun,then qwan ki do ,now I chose aikido)and in each one I had girls as sparring partners,and I also find it very hard to bring my self to hit those girls.Why?Instincts+my experiences with females always a pleasant one(to say the least)I could also add the family and society conditioning.

    I hope you understand my point.However be carefull all safety measure have there limitations.Just because you are a woman dose not mean you can push any gent too much.You don't want to find your self facing a furious man.When in a frenzy state I can say from personal experience,no man ,including myself cares about anything,who the oponent is or the consequences.

    I wish you well,and perseverence in your arts of choice. :cool:

    PS: You can trash the machos as much as needed till they get there senses :p
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2009
  14. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    Mate, its training, if you cant put your ego aside and train with a female then you dont deserve to train.

    Anyone who got into a uncontrolled frenzy training with anyone at any decent club would get kicked out of the session, do it more then once and it will most likely be for good.
  15. smartial02

    smartial02 New Member

    Nice to know that what you was valued of.. like me.. i noticed...

    Watching those sexy instructors in kickboxing videos are very entertaining. Most people I know has one kept in a drawer in their rooms. I once thought it weird to even venture into kickboxing. It was a boring way of combining rhythm and exercise. Plus, I thought that the steps were too repetitious for my taste.
  16. The Decay of Meaning

    The Decay of Meaning Valued Member

    As a girl, do you feel it is strange if a guy invites you to spar? Should we rather let you invite us to spar? I've been a bit hesistant; I don't want the females there to think that I'm particularily interested in sparring with her because she is a girl (as I know some guys do).

    I wish there were more girls doing BJJ. It's nice to have a mixed gender class.

    In regards to groping and such, I have a very attractive and beautiful girl friend who joined a BJJ class, but she stopped shortly afterwards because there was a guy who always asked if she wanted to spar, and he became almost like a stalker.

    Also, just recently I had a guy in side control and he touched my private parts. Don't ask me how he did it; I think he was going for a sweep. But I think stuff like this happens. Of course there will always be people who will take advantage of that situation and grope.
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2009
  17. spidersfrommars

    spidersfrommars Valued Member

    It's just inevitable that BJJ will land you in a myriad of strange and awkward positions if you don't learn to 100% de-sexualize it then you're never really going to get anywhere. As for asking girls to spar surly thats better than the alternative, we should want them to feel like a part of the group not some awkward interloper. Just remember it's all OK so long as you don't make eye contact :p
  18. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    Personally (as a bloke) rolling with a female, is the same as rolling with a male, awkward positions happen every now and again, but if the intent isnt there, it shouldnt be a problem. Inapproprate behavour from any gender should be avoided as much as possable, but its quite easy to see when its accidental and when its not.
  19. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    I have to say reading these posts make me want to stab myself in the eye with a blunt fork.

    Rolling involves both people. If an adult cannot set their boundaries, ask a trusted person in the class to help them do so as well as quickly get over the physicality of MA then they are going to have a tough time in the dojo (please don't bring up rape victims here or I'll stab both my eyes out).

    Girl, are you serious? If you train regularly you pick everyone to spar. The lower grades, the higher grades, the tall ones, the short ones, the meek ones, the wild ones, the bald ones, the ones with mullets, the fat ones, the skinny ones you get the picture? Christ, if people think you 'fancy' them or are giving them some subtle invitation by asking to spar neither of you are training.

    Time and time again I've seen girls stop training (despite the most supportive, grope-free, jerk-free environment) because they bring all sorts of hang ups, think that the dojo is a place for intrigue and flirtation, don't want to focus and essentially do not know how to come as a blank slate into the dojo without prejudices and preconceptions about people. I've heard many of my male training partners described as 'scary', 'silent', 'I think he doesn't like me' and I've had to defend them to girls who feel entitled to attention.

    If you're not in the above categories or have grown out of them, more power to you. Otherwise, go home.
  20. niftymv

    niftymv Valued Member

    Awesome post. I think you have articulated very well how many of us ladies feel :)

    Yes, some gyms and some guys really don't like or do not know how to handle women who come to train. I am in the process of "breaking in" a new gym, and going through the same painful processes of getting the most of the guys to see I am keen to train and I bring a set of skills to the mat. It is proving long and difficult, but I am optimistic that we will all get to a common understanding in a little more time.

    Yes, hands/faces/arms/everything sometimes end up in awkward places sometimes, but as I was told by a very highly skilled BJJ practitioner, there are no boys and girls on the mat.. I am glad to say I have never had what I would consider an inappropraite moment on the mat. That would not be cool... and I would not like to recieve the repercussions from the trainer if it did happen.

    This post s a credit to you.. keep training hard and surprising people who want to put you in a box and define your skills because you are a woman. Those who do this certainly learn a few hard lessons themselves, don't they ;)

    Keep up the good work!

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