95 Ways To Annoy People

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Kunoichi, Feb 16, 2005.

  1. Kunoichi

    Kunoichi Valued Member

    1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

    2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

    3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

    5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

    6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

    7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

    8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

    9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

    10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

    11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

    12. Sniffle incessantly.

    13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

    14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

    16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

    17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

    18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

    19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

    20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

    21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

    22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

    23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

    24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

    25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

    26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

    27. Wear a special hip holster for your
    remote control.

    28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

    31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

    32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

    33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    34. Drum on every available surface.

    35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

    37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

    38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
    into peoples backpacks.

    39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

    40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

    41. Set alarms for random times.

    42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

    43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

    44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

    45. Honk and wave to strangers.

    46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

    47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

    48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

    49. Wear your pants backwards.

    50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

    51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

    52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

    53. only type in lowercase.

    54. dont use any punctuation either

    55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

    56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

    57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

    58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

    59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

    60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

    61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

    62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

    63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

    64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

    65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

    66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

    67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

    68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

    69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

    70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

    71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

    72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

    73. Drive half a block.

    74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

    75. Ask people what gender they are.

    76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

    78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

    79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

    80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

    81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

    82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

    83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

    84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

    86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

    87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

    88. Sing along at the opera.

    89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

    90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

    91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

    92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
    about "psychological profiles."

    93. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

    94. Never make eye contact.

    95. Never break eye contact.
     
  2. justinksw

    justinksw Valued Member

    LOL!

    I haven't seen that in quite a while. I know lots of people who do many things on that list (me included sometimes...)
     
  3. Zach

    Zach New Member

    lol those are funny
    i really like number 8 since i always did that and had to unstick them
     
  4. edd1

    edd1 Valued Member

    55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

    or steal them and rout the trafic through your university. :D :D
     
  5. Cougar_v203

    Cougar_v203 4th surgery....Complete!

    I R TEH MASTER OF ANNOYING PEOPLE!! ASK MY PARENTS LOL! :D

    my first is: keep tapping them on the shoulder then move in the opposite direction of which they are turning their heads. Repeat :D
     
  6. gaz shaw

    gaz shaw New Member

    82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

    now that one really does annoy me and half on my street have still got them up.
     
  7. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    Um, I've done a couple of those, but I won't fess up to which ones....
     
  8. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

    These are great. I wish I could do #5.
     
  9. JTiedes

    JTiedes Wielder of the Wiffle.

    definetly
    96. make the water drop noise (if you can) whenever u finish a tes early
     
  10. Peter Bradbury

    Peter Bradbury Valued Member

    seems to annoy people even more when you do that with drum sticks or even just air drum :confused: oh well
     
  11. jujitsuka07

    jujitsuka07 Body by Pizza Hut!

    Tell someone: "You have the Power!" :Alien:
    They say: "What Power?" :confused:
    You say: "The Power of Who-Doo!" :Alien:
    They say: "Who-Doo?" :rolleyes:
    You say: "You do." :Alien:
    They say: "Do what?" :confused:
    You say: "Have the Power." :Alien:
    They say: "What Power?" :eek:

    ect., ect., ect...!
     
  12. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    I especially like #65, and that would be "El Conquistador" to you.....
     
  13. Kyu

    Kyu New Member

    I think we can help with that..:)..I hate number 8..my lil bro used to do that all the time (A long time ago)
     
  14. Camel_Kid

    Camel_Kid New Member

    ROFL wasn't that David Bowie?

    Another good one:
    Call a pizza place while a car chase scene blasts through your TV speakers (or better yet, a home stereo system)... Every time a gunshot is heard, yell "OWW" into the reciever. :p
     
  15. Cougar_v203

    Cougar_v203 4th surgery....Complete!

    I was planning on doing that one night but then I got scolded :D
     
  16. Brad Ellin

    Brad Ellin Baba

    #14
    had a dog named Deeohgee. Most people never figured it out.
     
  17. Cougar_v203

    Cougar_v203 4th surgery....Complete!

    my #12: walk into a room with people and at the top of your lungs scream "DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! (repeat) :D
     

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