50 Ways to confuse, worry, annoy, or just scare people in a computer lab

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by booksie_girl, Jul 2, 2004.

  1. booksie_girl

    booksie_girl Lucy the Terrible

    I can't le kwaj post all the good ones :D I don't think this has been posted here before

    1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
    2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
    3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
    4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
    5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
    6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
    7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
    8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
    9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
    10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
    11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
    12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
    13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
    14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
    15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."
    16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
    17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
    18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
    19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
    20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
    21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
    22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
    23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is.
    24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it’s all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
    25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
    26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you, grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
    27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
    28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
    29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
    30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
    31. Laugh hysterically, shout, "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
    32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
    33. Assign a musical note to every key (i.e. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
    34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
    35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?” unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
    36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
    37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
    38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
    39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
    40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
    41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
    42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
    43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
    44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang-up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
    45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
    46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
    47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim, "You're such a marvel!!" and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
    48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!" then calmly sit down and begin to type.
    49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".
    50. Two words: Tesla Coil.
     
  2. JohnnyX

    JohnnyX Map Addict

    I was once doing some PC training to some elderly secretaries that had never used a PC before and one of them insisted that she wanted to use tipex (correction fluid) on the screen. :eek:

    Excellent list.

    Thanks. :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2004
  3. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    I can see someone doing a few of these.
     
  4. Anth

    Anth Daft. Supporter

    hmmmmmm magnets sounds like a good one....


    now wheres the college server at? :D:D
     
  5. Furikuchan

    Furikuchan New Member

    .....I HAVE a Tesla Coil...:yeleyes:...Muahahahahahahahaha!
     
  6. Saz

    Saz Nerd Admin

    One of the guys in the office changed the "Ready" message to read "Insert Coin" on the printer today :)
     
  7. Kinjiro Tsukasa

    Kinjiro Tsukasa I'm hungry; got troll? Supporter

    51. Move all the mice to the left of the keyboards, instead of the right. Works best if the PCs are very close together.
     
  8. YODA

    YODA The Woofing Admin Supporter

    My all time fave....

    Wait until someone nips to the toilet etc for a few minutes. Take a screen grab of their current screen including whatever they are working on and set it as the desktop wallpaper. Then minimise everything and move all their icons right to the edge of the screen.

    Time how long it takes them to figure it out on their return :D
     
  9. Kinjiro Tsukasa

    Kinjiro Tsukasa I'm hungry; got troll? Supporter

    Yikes! That sounds like it would take a pretty long trip to the toilet! :D
     
  10. YODA

    YODA The Woofing Admin Supporter

    I can get it done in under a minute :D
     
  11. Kinjiro Tsukasa

    Kinjiro Tsukasa I'm hungry; got troll? Supporter

    Ah, a true expert! :)
     
  12. Anth

    Anth Daft. Supporter

    YODA> that has been done many a time, got it down to around 20 seconds at my comprehensive school, normally when people had turned to talk to their mates. people hated me for it :D
     
  13. Nrv4evr

    Nrv4evr New Member

    52. hit the motherboard, complaining, "I shoved 2 bucks in this CD slot thingy and pressed tab. i still haven't got my damn coffee?!"
     
  14. Topher

    Topher allo!

    53. Place sticky tape under a mouse so it can’t roll and watch as they call spend all morning going through the computers settings.

    54. Replace a commonly-accessed file on the computer network with a scanned image of your ass.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2004
  15. xplasma

    xplasma Banned Banned

    I actually wrote and a program in X86 ASM that took the keyboard input, and played a system beep at the frequency for diff notes (A = A, B=B, etc.) and then passed into to the normal Interrupt handler, so when you type it would place the notes and the text would still appear on the screen. It was fun randomly installing it on friends' computers.
     
  16. xplasma

    xplasma Banned Banned

    I did that to my frosh roommate, it took him about 10 seconds to figure it out :(
     
  17. rigsville

    rigsville Shukokai Karate

    I have the feeling that this thread is going to run and run.....

    One of my favs is to remove 2 or 3 of the keyboard keys and swap them about, nothing too obvious, but it's great fun to watch as people hit the K key only to get the letter L instead!!
     
  18. Albert

    Albert Banned Banned

    i try to swim into my monitor because its the ocean and i have to be with all the fishes. Or overclock the comp, then pop open the case, rip off the heatsink, disable the fans, and put a small pan over the processor and try to fry an egg.
     
  19. Poop-Loops

    Poop-Loops Banned Banned

    I did that to my mom once. :D

    PL
     
  20. #1 Stutta

    #1 Stutta The New Boot

    How do you do a screen grab? I've heard of it plenty of times, but never figured it out.
     

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