One simple parenting trick, That THEY dont want you to know...

Becoming a parent is a life changing thing and almost every time I feel like I have got some aspect of it sorted out, my kids go and grow up a bit more and there’s some new thing to respond to. When a baby is really tiny, you are it’s life support. It can be very intense and it’s really useful to put the baby in a buggy and go for a long walk. When I had my first son, I got post natal depression and to avoid going on antidepressants, I walked miles everyday and am a big believer in the power of getting out of the house to get a change of atmosphere. The other bits of advice I got: that you can’t love your baby too much, certainly in the first year of their lives. Talk to your baby from like they are an actual person. Nothing lasts forever, even the days when parenting is proving really tough. It’s useful to read a good book on child development so you know roughly what to expect at each stage. I used Penelope Leach,’s YourBaby and Child which really helped me on this. For example there’s quite a long period of time before a baby recognises you as a separate entity. Children don’t really play together in a collaborative way until they are 3-4 years old. Before that they play alongside each other. Hope this is a useful addition to the sensible advice you’ve already had from others. Best wishes.

 

Update, I've had very little sleep, newborns require a lot of attention, I knew that already, but I didn't KNOW to the extent it is.

I'm managing to still train twice a week, but only an hour at a time, due to current feed times, and I'm doing some quick HIIT work every other day with kettlebells and bodyweight stuff, and in gonna add in some yoga at night to help fix my broken body.

Also eating healthy is really hard when you have no time, I'm living on milk, porridge, scrambled eggs, bagels, peanut butter, granola bars and ready meals.

I think this charlie brooker article accurately lists my feelings now

For one week only, I'm allowed to say it: I get babies | Charlie Brooker


Edit _ heat mugs are amazing, it's the only way to have an entire hot coffee now.

 

Haha, I can't help but laugh, been through it twice, and I remember even the second time how I forgot how relentless it was.

That heat mug sounds a great idea, wish I had one of those instead of re microwaving the same cup of tea/coffee a million times.

Well done for still getting the training in!

 

My son is gonna be 4 soon and I think I'm only now just getting over the shock of being a parent again. His first 3 years are a bit of a blur. I think I've suppresed the trauma.

 

Can you show me on the doll, where he left body fluids on you........

 

I think it was the timing. My eldest was just getting to the easier stage, house..I mean..toilet trained, no nappies (and nappy bag and buggy every trip), at school, we could leave her in front of the telly...ahem...I mean she was more independent, sleeping through most nights, feed herself, etc.
Then bang! Back into getting up every 3 hours, nappies, crying, lack of sleep, stress, short tempered all the time. Plus my missus health really suffered after the second child so a lot of it fell to me.

 

If you don't mind me asking, when is the easier stage(s) I've heard it's better after, 6 months, and then again at 3 to 5 years?

 

Hmmm...yeah something like that. It varies massively of course.
Some babies eat well, sleep well and are sleeping through the night (or as near as to stay functional) fairly soon. Some babies/toddlers still aren't doing those things after 2-3 years!
Although I think a lot of that is parenting.
Some of the parents that insist on breast feeding as long as possible also seem to have kids that are a bit food fussy, don't sleep very long or on their own and need constant reassurance (although I'm not saying correlation equals causation....more than likely they are all related to a "style" of overall parenting).

 

I think it's when they leave home?

 

that varies per child my daughter took 6 years to easier to deal with at bed time (took 3 hours each night until this point), but my son was always easy at bed (5mins or less) time from very little, and toilet trained, night trained after 2 without prompting

Each stage is a different for each child, so it's the classic piece of string analogy. Certainly as they get older they become more independent, but with that you will miss some of the dependency.

 

hahaha we joke about this all the time. We're at the lego on the floor stage a the moment, great sensitivity training when walking around

 

Cheers guys!

 

Get a dummy. They are looked down on by some people but will save your sanity. They help prevent thumb sucking (which I think looks awful in older kids and can badly effect tooth growth...as can dummies but you can take them away) and (in my experience) are easy to ditch once they are older.

 

we did this also, easier to take the dummy away than the fingers, and also it isn't good for mummy to be used as a dummy if the baby is inclined to do that often to sleep.

 

Dummies are a go, although we had issues as the taste of Milton wasn't good, so we steam sterilise them as were good to go!

 

It starts with sterilising fluid, then steaming, then pouring boiler water on them, then running them under the tap, in your own gob and finishes with you barely picking the worst of the dust and crud off when you find one in the back of the car and shoving it home to get some peace.

 

Also the tommy tippee coffee machines for milk are amazing.



There's a lot of BS spoken about breast feeding, if you can it's good, but if you can't, it's really not that different for the child. The majority of studies taken don't really say that much, aside from the first few feeds being Good for the immune system, and most of it can be explained via social economic factors, not a causal relationship.

 

Hahaha, I imagine by then their immune system is primed and ready to go!

So that's actually good dading!

 

I don't even want to know, how often my Mom put it back, when it fell down or whatever.

Later on the same with a piece of apple for example
A few weeks back I was on my to training and a toddler let a piece of apple fall down; the Mom took it away within a second.
I looked at my own Mom and asked her, if I just picked it up and ate it? The answer: "Yeah, you got it back. And you still live, so don't complain."

 

oh, all this sterilising and washing, my son won't eat some food from the plate, then goes and eats a piece of unknown thing off the floor
We were conscious about keeping everything clean and sterilised for the best start, but some occasions the will eat dirt when you turn your back for 2 seconds.