How to deal with feeling attracted to your training partners

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by Zell, Dec 17, 2017.

  1. Alansmurf

    Alansmurf Aspire to Inspire before you Expire Supporter

    Mutual interests ...friendship ...leading to romance ...thats all normal behaviour

    As to the comments around harems and passing students around ...thats down to peoples personal standards and not indicative of martial artists or instructors
     
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  2. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    But there's more of a problem with that behaviour, in any hierarchical situation, whereby not everyone may be 100% willing participants.

    I think the weinstein case shows that people in positions of relative power can sometimes abuse that power.
     
  3. Giovanni

    Giovanni Well-Known Member Supporter

    i don't like that "passing around" and harem comment. makes it seem like women are property.
     
  4. Mitch

    Mitch Lord Mitch of MAP Admin

    I think it reflects the view of the instructors in those clubs, not the poster.
     
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  5. Lennon

    Lennon Member

    Sounds harsh but you either need to go for it or get over it.

    You sound very reluctant to start anything up with the guy you like so my advice would be to just get over it.

    Meet people in other places and keep your club/gym strictly for training. It's natural that there will be 'banter' and flirting due to the intimacy of Martial Arts but there is no reason to take it any further if you don't want to (which it sounds like you don't).

    I actually don't see a problem with dating people from within your club, it just sounds like you really don't want to. So don't.
     
  6. Tom bayley

    Tom bayley Valued Member

    No flirting on the mat! Off the mat, rules for normal human beings apply.
     
  7. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    "How to deal with feeling attracted to your training partners"....put on some Barry White, turn the lights down low, nice bottle of wine....
     
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  8. Knee Rider

    Knee Rider Valued Member Supporter

    That only works at jitz ;)
     
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  9. Travess

    Travess The Welsh MAPper Supporter

    For me this comes down to one simple word - Conduct - If you can 100% of the time conduct yourself in the appropriate manor and treat each other solely as training partners, and nothing more, then there shouldn't be an issue. But here is the rub, this does not just apply to when the relationship is gonna well, it also applies to when it is not (maybe even more so!)

    Travess
     
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  10. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

     
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  11. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    You need to be cautious if it is an instructor;
    It sounds like the club has good standards, but as an instructor, they are on a position of power and responsiblity - that's not on you that's on them essentially, just a word of caution in that scenario.

    Otherwise I don't see why it would be an issue @Travess has a very good point on conduct being the key on either outcome.
     
    Travess likes this.
  12. Unreal Combat

    Unreal Combat Valued Member

    The club was good. He was just one of those who weasled his way in to try and get his paws in the pie.
     
  13. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Andy is nice and all that, but a bit hairy for me.

    17795730_1497350270327509_8513297018807349951_n.jpg


    As for Mushroom, I couldn't afford his food bill. :D

    10636100_10153182176614408_7261403499890316182_n.jpg


    Speaking of hairy, Pretty in Pink is a nice lad, but...

    13256454_1186332514724109_6947403005432119376_n.jpg
     
    Archibald likes this.

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