The news of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington hit me quite hard on a personal level because LP were one of my favourite bands growing up. Still are, in fact. Hearing the news was one of those "remember where you were" moments that reminded me about the finiteness of life. I've had a few of those, more so as I entered my 30s, and I'm always interested to hear other people's experiences of such moments. I think the first real event that made me aware of the fragility of life and the inevitability of death was 9/11. The images playing out on TV were so surreal and remain vividly burned into my memory. It was made even more significant when we got news that a family friend had perished in the north tower. What was your first memory of realising your own mortality?
Nothing prepares you for the death of a parent,even when you know it's coming (my mother died of bowel cancer four years ago). It certainly gave me a changed perspective in priorities in life, what is worth worrying about and what is most important to me. Then earlier this year my nephew,who was epileptic died, who was same age as my eldest daughter. The whole family has been hit for six, it's an unimaginable situation for a parent. My sister (who works in time media) has been campaigning to raise awareness of his cause of death ; sudden unexpected death due to epilepsy, or SUDEP. My daughter who is on work experience at a charity run by a friend of ours, has written an article about it on a blog here ; whatsuptv
I suppose the first time I experienced death in a personal way was when my grandfather died, I still remember it quite vividly I was going on 16 and in the middle of my mock exams. My mum didn't let me go to the funeral as I was taking an exam that day. I remember wishing I was there and being pretty ****ed off about it. 30 years ago now.. 2 weeks ago my own father died, it's been a little surreal because I've only seen him 4around a handful of times since the age of 8. I don't even know anything about his burial.. Life is short and we'll all be gone before you know it. Just live and be yourself, every single damn day.
It's hard trying to remember the first time I thought about my own mortality. I'm sure we all realize it on some level pretty early on, when you're young of course, it seems so far away.
Studying health sciences in the early 00s at Uni fascinated and frightened me in equal amounts. The more I learned about physiology and psychology, the more I realised how vulnerable we are and how amazing it is to be physically and mentally 'healthy' when there is soooo much that needs to remain in balance to maintain this. Regarding vulnerability in a different way, the terrorist attack in Manchester was something I've long feared and expected. I honestly thought if there was an attack in Manchester it was going to be where I work- I was wrong but I feel if it could happen at a concert for kids I wasn't an idiot fearing for my life going to work every day
Whilst it feels like terrorism is dangerous, heart disease, mental health, and being near cars are all far far far more dangerous! Humans are just slightly evolved primates and so all our senses are primed for our original environment, which is we over stuff our faces with rich food, collect too many bananas then we could ever spend (poor metaphor isnt it) and stress out over stories of other troops of primates "coming over here and taking over". Im not sure what my point is, but its no wonder suicide is a leading cause of death in the west.
I was 17 when I had my first friend top themselves. I was the only person I talked to who felt lucky to know them, rather than unlucky to loose them. My dad died when I was 19. My gran died shortly after. That really struck home the lesson I'd already learned from Highlander; it's better to burn out than fade away. Sounds flippant, but I hate the idea of being so tired of life I want to die. Old age is cruel. I think I was about 13 when I first felt I could die happy. Never been seriously suicidal or had a death wish, I love life, but there's no regrets that would bum me out should I check out early.
Had a mate die a couple of years ago. Just in his sleep, weakness in his brain no one knew about, not even him. He was the first person I properly knew that was sort of the same as me. Not an elderly relative or someone the same age I didn't really know. In a way maybe that's lucky for me? Means I've been saved that feeling most of my life? Certainly stopped me in my tracks and made me reassess anyway.
My mum died from bowel cancer when I was 23 and she was only 56. I had always been anxious about the idea of dying. and when I asked her if she was scared, she said she wasn't - it was just nature's course. That has stayed with me throughout my life. When your time comes, that's all you got. I had a major episode with my heart when I was 48 and found myself lying on the side of the street surrounded by a crowd of people with a paramedic there and my partner looking on scared witless. My heart rate went up to 300 plus beats per min and I thought I this might be it. TBH there was nothing I could do and I had no control over the situation. As it was, I came through ok and then had my heart fixed. I was very lucky. I've always thought that I would want to see my kids to adulthood if at all possible and that motivates me to train and take my vitamins. I don't understand suicide. I've only felt really bleak a couple of times in my life and can't imagine the torture someone must feel to push them to take their own life
I was comforted a few months back when I listened to radio 4 programme about death and our attitudes towards it. They spoke to a palliative care nurse from a hospice who basically said, in many cases, death is a fairly serene quiet affair. In old age the body starts to shut down, the person becomes less aware of what is going on, more sleep and rest is taken until...they die. Not screaming or in pain, which is what people fear, but just slip away.
My dad killed himself when I was 9. That was an eye opener about death and mortality and my first experience of it. Today I wouldn't change it happening as it's part of what makes me what I am. I also wonder if it's worse to have someone die who you have known all your life. I also feel for those still yet to lose someone close to them. I can deal with anything and have experience when ever it happens again. As an aside it's part of the reason I have had fights and real experience. Kids can be cruel ,people can be cruel and plonkers and growing up through schools in a small town and then going out into pubs brings all sorts of situations. Standing up to attempts at bullying, standing up to anyone wanting action, taking on anyone taking the mick, getting a rep as someone who does that and being a target for those who want to try it on. Now, it's not like I was some big hard nut, fighting all the time or anything haha. Don't want to overexagerate it. Been around enough real deal people though and got enough of my own experiences though to be able to see what's what, what's not and what's rot.
This is how may father in law passed away recently. He had everything wrong with him, but wouldn't let himself go until his wife and daughters told him he could go, as they'd be okay with the values and love he gave them. In the end he went as you described and it wasn't so much sadness as a relief he went without and pain or suffering, at least that he aware of. The family knew he was slipping away and nothing was left undone. Goodbyes were said, loving words were exchanged and it actually made everyone stronger. Matt F, I can't even imagine what that must have been like for a young man.
I was aware of death from a very young age. My grandad passed away when I was about 8 or 9. In rural Ireland it is common to have a wake at the home so my grandad was in his coffin with the lid off on top of the kitchen table as friends and family came to visit. I slept in the room next to the kitchen where his body was that night. I remember looking at him and think its just a shell, my mum told me the spirit had gone and its just a shell so that's what I thought. I was not spooked actually and I dont think any of my young cousins were either because it was just the way we were brought up. I think subconsciously it may have effected me because from a very young age I studied all things to do with immortality, Alchemy, Occult knowledge, yoga, Chinese internal and knowledge of herbs and modern ageing science.
Hi all, I havent been around awhilw...so much going on. But when my daughter was only 9months, she had a serious infection in her knee. It was life-threatening requiring a operation.
My grandfather passed when I was about 7--that is my earliest personal experience with death. He was the only grandparent of mine who was still alive when I was born. (My parents waited til roughly their mid 40s to have children.) My father passed a year ago; he was 80 and in somewhat poor health when he got necrotizing fasciitis in a cut on his leg. The hospital didn't catch it and sent him home with antibiotics (they thought it was a normal infection). He got severely sick and was back at the hospital that night, and eventually died of sepsis--his poor health was unable to recover from the surgeries necessary to remove the infection. I notice my body taking a lot more time to heal/recover/etc than it did when I was in my 20s. One thing that motivated me to start training martial arts again regularly maybe 1.5 years ago was a passage in a book. I don't have the exact quote, but it was something like, "wouldn't you like to see what your body is capable of, before age takes away that capability?" Yes, I would.
I think about it all the time. Not in a morbid kind of way. But it is just that I am reminded of human mortality on a regulary basis. Through work and media. But sometimes, my mind would clear (which is rare...or often, depending on how you know me ) and next thing I know. I'm thinking, how my body will be in 10/15/20 yrs. How many phases of the Marvel movie franchise will I live through? Will the next trilogy of Star Wars after this lot be within my lifetime? And about a 100 other silly questions. Sometimes I do get down about it, it is a slightly depressing thought after all. However my mind will then quickly move on to another subject. As I have an attention span of
