Why Men Are Happier Than Women! 1. We keep our last name. 2. The garage is all ours. 3. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 4. Chocolate is just another snack. 5. We can be president. 6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 7. Car mechanics tell us the truth. 8. The world is our urinal. 9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. 10. Same work, more pay. 11. Wrinkles add character. 12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. 13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them. 14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet. 16. One mood, ALL the time. 17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 18. We know stuff about tanks. 19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 20. We can open all our own jars. 21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend. 23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 24. Everything on our face stays its original color. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 27. We almost never have strap problems in public 28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes. 29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. 30. We don't have to shave below our neck. 31. Our belly usually hides our big hips. 32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife. 34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
Why women are happier 1. Our reputation doesn't depend on our muscles 2. We can show our feelings 3. We have more than the emotional range of a teaspoon (taken from HP) ummm, I'm out of ideas. Help me out female MAPers.
OK, booksie_girl, here are a few: 4. We can change our last name if we hate it 5. The garage belongs to the men, they can have it 6. Chocolate is not just another snack 7. We can wear lots of fun colors, not just black, blue, brown, and white 8. Our clothes are more fun 9. We don't have to wear the same boring shoes all the time 10. We don't have to worry about candiru fish
Sure.... , just a thought for all the women out there... MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN? And when we have real trouble, it's HISterectomy Andy is right!
LOL! Good one KC Another reason why were we're Happier... If a man drinks a Bacardi breezer, or a "girly" drink, he gets his masculinity called into question. We, on the other hand, can drink whatever the hell we like and not have to worry
here is one for you KG 39 we don't suffer from binary chi(otherwise kown as the ability to break computers without even trying)
So do I.. if it survives When we have a cold, its a cold. When men have a cold, its the flu, and its fatal!
I know everything there is to know about playing and recording video tapes; time-shift recording and all. A VCR is lucky to last even three years in my house (because of overuse). I chew them up and spit them out! Kyokushin_girl is right about men and colds. They can really be babies about it! (No offense, guys, I love you all!)
Warning: Due to colorful language, this post is rated "R" for mature audiences but you guys can read it anyway. HA! I crack me up! Disclaimer: Ladyhawk does not agree with all of the following, quite a bit of it but not all. 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman 1. We can get laid anytime we want 2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar 3. We **** sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk 4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying 5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg 6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class 7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret 8. We can marry rich and then not have to work 9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates 10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them 11. Men light our cigarettes for us 12. Men hold the door open for us 13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!) 14. We're cuter 15. We lie better 16. We're better manipulators 17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch 18. We always have food in the fridge 19. We don't worry about losing our hair 20. We always get to choose the movie 21. We don't have to mow the lawn 22. We don't have to take out the garbage 23. we don't have to paint the house or walls 24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men 25. Cosmopolitan 26. We can con our way out of anything- not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole 27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold 28. PMS is a legal defense for murder 29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever 30. We can masturbate more in a day than men 31. 2 words- multiple orgasms 32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals 33. Sweat is sexy on us 34. We never run out of excuses 35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often 36. Doggie style- that way we get to watch the game too 37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back 38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men mess up so often 39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner 40. Women are cleaner 41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know) 42. We're better arguers 43. We don't always have to think with our genitals 44. Massage!!!! 45. We're better parents 46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night 47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men 48. We're flexible 49. When women get ****ed we don't destroy property or hurt people- we just take it out on the world in general because we can 50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50 51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex 52. Men in uniform 53. There is no penis envy 54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up 55. It generally takes us less to get drunk 56. We have a higher tolerance to pain 57. We often get to cut in line 58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DON'T 59. Better tips 60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting 61. We have mastered civilized eating- we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public 62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting- thank god for long pants and perfume! 63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want 64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair 65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet 66. Men will pay us for sex 67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile 68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return 69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want 70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us 71. Women sweat less 72. Women smell better 73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards- a blowjob and sex fixes all 74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats 75. Women don't get the humor in the three stooges 76. Women have three accessible holes 77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons 78. We're better gossips 79. We have better fashion sense 80. We're better shoppers 81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man 82. Our friends don't pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone 83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you) 84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage 85. We don't have to drive when on a date 86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable- ugly men are just ****ed 87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line 88. Women know how fake it 89. Women look better naked 90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing 91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short 92. Women do less time for violent crime 93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up 94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time anynight 95. Womens conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye" 96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood 97. Women never have to see combat 98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves 99. Women are sexier and the 100th reson its better to be a woman- this one is definitely worthy of reiteration: 100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
