I Am A Horrible Buddhist

Sometimes I just get mad at myself because I believe I am failing as a Buddhist. I have acquired Tao, or "the Way" years ago at a Buddhist monaestery, so I am officially a lay Buddhist. However, I do not feel that I am doing enough to be a practicing Buddhist. Buddhism stresses that we should relinquish our desires, but I am having a difficult time with that. I see so much pain in this life, too much I cannot just look away from. I have not been happy in such a long time, and to be Buddhist is to always be happy. I guess it's just not easy being a Buddhist.

 

That was a fantastic story.

Thanks for sharing.

 

lol

leave him alone semphoon

Romantic - I'd say that you might be failing as a buddhist because following "the Tao" is generally done by Taoists, not buddhists (yes, I know it's pedantic but perhaps incorrect terminology indicates a lack of knowledge).

 

Hey, if everyone was a good Buddhist, there would be no point in practicing Buddhism.

It sounds to me as if you are being a perfectionist here.

You are a human being, a complete package with all your good qualities, and all of your bad qualities. This is the reality. The idea of practice is to sift through all of this, encouraging what is good, and letting go of what causes suffering.

Comparing yourself to the concept you have in your head of what a 'good Buddhist' is will only lead to frustration and guilt. It is also unrealistic and overdemanding of yourself.

"Buddhism stresses that we should relinquish our desires, but I am having a difficult time with that." - then you are human, like all of us.

"I see so much pain in this life, too much I cannot just look away from." - Good. You have begun to realise the first 'noble truth'. Now you have to look into what causes bring about this suffering.

"I have not been happy in such a long time, and to be Buddhist is to always be happy" - That would be nice, wouldn't it? Call yourself a Buddhist, and BAM! instant happiness for all the family! Sorry man, "Buddhist" is just another label. It is the practice within that brings about transformation and happiness, and even that is a rollercoaster of highs and lows for many, many years.

"I guess it's just not easy being a Buddhist." Its not easy being a Christian, either, and trying to act with the love of God all the time. People can't just call themselves a Christian and WHAMMO! be a perfectly happy person just like that. Whatever discipline you undertake, it needs practice. Practice, practice, practice. And then practice some more.

All of the expectations and strains and pressures you place on yourself are unskillful, useless, and hurt you. You are what you are. Practice with that, be mindful with this reality.

The practice is very simple. Be mindful, take responsibility. You already have Buddha nature, you just need to unearth it underneath all this mental rubble.

Jack

 

Was just lurking through and thought I would contribute here.

I practice also. And when I get hard on myself I realize I am a Buddhist, not the BUDDHA.

What helps me is looking at the ways that I am a service to others. When we act in a selfless way and offer our assistance to others, truly without an expectation of return, we gain a lot more spiritually.

As you know there are many heavens that are attainable but neither of them is the goal. Ultimately we are trying to seek happiness. The trick is to not confuse happiness with pleasure.

Good Luck,
GF

 

you need to be more mindfull and let yourself go

 

You're doing fine. Do you practice compassion in your daily life? Do you have to think about it in order to remember to do so? Relax, you're human. Don't worry about it so much, just "be". Be compassionate, be mindful, meditate, reflect, and love. WHo says a buddhist has to be happy all the time? I don't ever recall seeing or hearing that. But, I bet if and when we achieve enlightment and "see" things the way they are, it will change our perceptions of life and the world and we will be much happier knowing that it's all just an illusion.

Relax. You're doing fine!

 

Tao is actually part of Buddhism and Taoism. I am also an official Taoist, as I am a Buddhist, but I tend to practice Buddhism more. Taoism is actually a mixture of Buddhism and Chinese religions.

 

err..excuse me? I think you've been misinformed. I believe Taoism actually pre-dates buddhism by quite a few years.

What proof do you have to support this claim?

 

What's the big deal? So what if you believe you are not being a true Buddhist. If that is the way your life is taking you then just roll along with it.

 

My parents are both Buddhist and are very religious. When I was younger, I went through a ceremony that may have been similar to yours but I've never really delved into Buddhism much. I think seeing how some so-called Buddhists act really disillusioned me - how people believed that they were good Buddhists if they did things for the temple, or prayed a lot, or made offerings at temple on holy days.

From the little I know about Buddhism, compassion, mindfulness and detachment seem to be the key teachings. IMO, the way to be a true Buddhist is through sacrifice.

You say that you are unhappy all the time, and that you see so much pain in this life? I don't know you or your socioeconomic situation but as you have internet access you're probably not destitute and are probably in reasonable health. I don't mean this as a personal attack, but how can you be unhappy when you're living in a 1st world nation healthy with food, shelter, water, etc. when there are millions who don't even have a fraction of what you do?

Being unhappy that these people are suffering isn't going to make their lives any better. If you want to be a good Buddhist sacrifice your time, money, energy to alleviate the suffering of these people. Your happiness will come from the act of giving (as corny as it sounds).

 

Dukkha. Its an irrational little bugger, isn't it? :woo:

Being unhappy at the suffering of others may be natural, but it is also unskillful unless you are doing something to help alleviate this suffering. Deal with your own self, perhaps when you can be compassionate for yourself you can be compassionate for others.

Jack

 

as jack said above, you are only human. All you can do is the best you can do, and that is all that counts. Things will seem hard and tough and all of that at times, as of with anything concerning humans, but just hold on. There is still more to come

 

Hey thanks to all who replied. It means a lot.

 

it might be best if you didn't call yourself a taoist, as you don't seem to have any idea what taoism is. (i.e., chinese religion that predates both confucianism and buddhism)

 

Ummm....this is kind of funny because I am actually an offical Taoist who was ordained by a Taoist master from Hong Kong....

 

it was once said


I know knothing

See I told me so.

 

Ok, that may be true but that doesn't necesssarily make you a Buddhist as well.
I'd advise that you do a little studying - you'll find that Buddhism and Taoism are actually separate religions that are quite distinct from one another in many ways.

Being "ordaned" in one will bear no significance to the other. The fact that you seem to confuse the two is quite possibly indicative of the reason why you are a "horrible buddhist".

 

You don't get buddhism OR taoism!!! If you understood the tao you would be enlightened, and if you were a good buddhist you would understand the pain and heal people of it. Buddhists don't deny the world is filled with pain, they understand it!

 

Relax

"...Stand thee ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls..."