Probably one of the most terrifying things to happen to someone. Who do you think you are most likely to get attacked and hurt by? Where is this attack most likely to occur? Budo.
I'm not sure about who would hurt me but I'm sure it could happen almost anywhere. And what I fear the most is my own closest family member\friends or boyfriend would hurt me.
I read a very well written book about a woman who survived sexual assault and attempted murder on her when she was going to work one morning. This was is South London probably in the 90's - can't remember the book title or author at the moment. Anyway, the man came asking her to help him with his pregnant girlfriend who'd fallen down the stairs. The author was irritated by being asked to help as she was on her way to work - there were loads of other people around. Before she had a chance to say anything he was beside her, holding a knife to her body. He told her to go with him or he'd stab her. She complied and ended up being taken to a top floor flat, sexually assaulted, garotted and set on fire. She managed to survive by playing dead so that he'd flee the scene. She got out of the fire and ran back to the street, naked, bleeding and calling for help to all those standing at the bus stop. They all looked at her and then looked away - like her earlier, they were probably irritated by being asked to help. The point to this posting was to say the author says in her book that if someone ever says "come with me or I'll stab you" or similar, don't believe them and comply. NEVER go away from a public place to a secondary location. The attacker wants to get you somewhere more private to carry out the attack. Even with a knife there, I think you're better off fighting and attracting attention.
I have identified 3 types of rapist in general terms; 1) Predator - (wrong place, wrong time victim) - tend to concentrate on vulnerable spots such as alleys, parks etc. Uncommon but very, very dangerous. Sometimes kill to cover tracks 2) Stalker - a specific, obsessive interest in you. Can be a friend/colleague or just a random stranger who took a shine to you. Will get to know your routine and patterns and plan an attack. Attacker may strike outside or break in a dwelling 3) Acquaintance - alarmingly the most common. Can be family (rare) but more often than not is a casual acquaintance who you do not know that well or only in superficial ways. So called "date rapes" come under this category. Often these are "spur of the moment" attacks, frequently alcohol related. Situations are often on couches, bedrooms or domestic locations. These are not exhaustive, but they represent a pretty good description of the most common forms of rapist. Rape is a truly terrifying concept, and awareness of environment at all times is the best defence to teach.
Well this is a tough question because most women will trust a clean cut, honest looking stranger, but most oftern than not rapists do not look like monsters, they look like they could be your friendly grocer, bank teller, waiter, neighbor, clergy, doctor, etc. They range in age from puberty to old men. There are alot of common mistakes that many women make (myself included at times) that could result in their getting kidnapped, attacked, and/or raped. Opening my front door when I haven't positively identified the person. Not locking my doors while driving Not being alert in parking lots Falling for someone who pretends to be someone else (such as a policeman, or mailman, package delivery person, etc. etc. ... catching me off my guard. I plan on getting certified the end of this month as a women's rape escape instructor and hopefully will have more to contribute to this forum
wear full body armor and steel underwear. no j/k. I may not know much about rape but I can certainly relate to the underlying concepts of being personally attacked and violated. In a nutshell you should be in Code Red all the time no matter where and no matter what. Don't get lulled into a false sense of security. Extract yourself and avoid potentially dangerous situations. Draw that line in the sand and don't let someone invade it. Don't be so nice and receptive, be mean. But even so, a predator (esp male) will most certainly be less afraid of a woman than a man. If you can't escape, I say train to cripple or kill is your best bet, before he kills you. Deal with the consequences later. Carry a weapon if you can. Weapons make great equalizers. Learn how to use it effectively and how not to get disarmed. If not, learn how to carry an improvised weapon. It's tough to function normally as woman but sometimes wearing clothing that is a little less inhibiting can make a difference in a tense situations. You're much likelier to get away or fight back effectively in loose sweats and sneakers than a tight skirt and heels. It's rape, it's about preparing for the worst, it's not about looking attractive. However with all the training in the world, nothing can truly prepare you for the mental and physical strain and adrenaline dump that takes place during a real encounter. The only way to get past that is through conditional and scenario based training. Many programs offer such role based training. Just remember the law is more likely to be on a woman's side than on a man's side. It's a little lopsided but use that to your advantage if you must in a stressful situation. As long as it is within reason.
This may surprise you. According to a Home Office Research Study in 2002 the person you are most likely to be raped by is your partner or ex-partner. They are also the ones that inflict the most physical injury. And the place where most rapes occur? Your own home. Admitedly these are statistics, based on reported cases in the UK. Decide for yourself. It does throw doubt on the idea that some monster is going to pull you into the bushes as you walk home, I think. Probably one of the most frightening aspects of the above study is the recording of women's reactions to the attack. There were some, albeit a minority, that believed that the attack was "just something that happens" !!!!!! Budo.
To add to the previous posts. I've also read that many targeted rape victims are emotionally vulnerable/lack self-esteem. Of course, such a horrific experience is sure to leave scars behind in ones personal/emotional state.
