Making Peace With Mediocrity

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by OwlMAtt, Jun 27, 2011.

  1. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young."
    - Henry Ford


    I admit it: I'm never going to be a great martial arts master or champion. If I ever had a chance to accomplish something like that, I have surely missed it.

    I'm not old, or even middle-aged, but I'm already nearing the age at which professional athletes either retire or become their teams' "veteran leaders". I know my body does not have the potential it had ten years ago, and moreover I know that the vast majority of people who become great achievers in any physical sport--the martial arts included--master the basics of their sport when they're teenagers or younger. That opportunity is long gone for me.

    The world is full of 30- and 40-year-olds who start martial arts training believing that, if they train hard enough, they can become great warriors capable of taking on hordes of opponents Bruce Lee-style. Most people who have have no emotional investment in the martial arts find this kind of thinking laughable, and I'm with them. I have no such illusions.

    I have no doubt offended some aikidoka with what I have written so far. "But Matt," I can hear them protest, "my instructor didn't start aikido training until he was an adult. He's in his sixties now and is still getting better. He just earned another dan rank."

    This is a popular sentiment in aikido, and in many cases there is much truth to it. It needs clarification, though.

    When we say that aging martial artists are still "getting better", what we mean is that they are still learning. Their understanding is still increasing, which means that they are probably becoming better instructors and may even be performing techniques more correctly than they were when they were younger. But we are fools if we think this keeps them from becoming weaker or slower with age, and even greater fools if we think becoming weaker and slower doesn't make a difference.

    Me, I'll likely be just getting my black belts as the weaker and slower start setting in--and I was never particularly strong or quick to begin with. I'll most likely have children by then, too, which means I won't have the time to train every day or the money to have my pick of instructors or programs. The best I can hope for at this point, then, is a long struggle to become, and then to remain, a mediocre black belt in two martial arts that have largely been watered down for mass-consumption.

    Maybe this doesn't sound like much to you, but I'm pretty excited about it.

    I have the opportunity to learn something new every time I step onto the mat between now and the day I can no longer stand. I have an enjoyable, interesting, and enlightening way to keep myself active and healthy for years to come. What's not to like?

    So many of us, I think, cling to the unrealistic hope of becoming like The Karate Kid's Mr. Myagi, in old age taking on five young black belts at the same time. I think there would be less of this if more of us realized what a privilege it is to be an ordinary martial artist. I, for one, am looking forward to many years of happy mediocrity.

    (This article is originally from The Newbie Deshi, my blog about being a beginner in the arts of aikido and taekwondo. If you enjoy it, please check out the blog.)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2011
  2. Osu,


    If you say so, then it is, there is no sense arguing with you here...
    Interesting perspective.

    Why are you studying MAs?


    Osu!
     
  3. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    you can always become better than you are. if you reach a peak in what you are doing, learn something else. that is all.
     
  4. Rebel Wado

    Rebel Wado Valued Member

    Well there is something good about knowing your own limitations and being humble. After all, it isn't about getting what you want, it is about wanting what you got.

    On the other hand, it isn't about other people kicking your butt, it is about kicking your own butt. I've been kicking my own butt way longer than anyone else has. What I mean is never in your "making peace with yourself" should you allow complacency. Strive to be a little out of your comfort zone in training as much as possible. You got a responsiblility as a martial artist to not allow complacency.
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2011
  5. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    Herb Perez became Olympic Taekwondo champion at the "ripe old age" of 32. Go figure.
     
  6. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    Because I enjoy them, because they give me the opportunity to improve myself, because they give me the opportunity to keep learning new things, and because they give me the opportunity to keep in shape in a fun way.
     
  7. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    Well, that's the thing about something that is an "art". In an art, you can always learn something new. Even if you're past your peak, there's always something new to explore. I have an instructor in his seventies who is no longer able to do a lot of what he used to do, but he is still learning new things. And in no way do I mean to imply that those new things don't make the martial arts worthwhile.
     
  8. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    Absolutely. The martial arts are about striving and challenging oneself, and I intend to do that for as long as I am a martial artist. But if I am only willing to do that in pursuit of a childish fantasy, I will eventually give up and quit.
     
  9. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    There are plenty of great athletes in their thirties. I watched Kobe Bryant play last year and he can still outplay 99% of the NBA. But Herb Perez and Kobe Bryant have been training for most of their lives. They weren't learning their sports at 30; they had already been competing at the highest level in the world for more than a decade by then.

    I'm still learning the basics at 29. I'm never going to be able to spar like Herb Perez. Even if I ever amass his skill and knowledge (doubtful), my body won't be able to do those kinds of things at that level anymore.
     
  10. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    my point, owlmatt, was that resigning yourself to mediocrity only shows a gross misunderstanding of what excelling means. why do you want to excel over your peers? your peers don't matter if you train for yourself, and every time you learn something new, every time you learn more about old things, and every time you surpass a limitation, whether an old one or a new one, you are excelling. the 50 year old guy who managed his 15 push-ups, panting, sweaty and nearly fainting? he is excelling. the 20 year old guy who's been training most of his life and does 50 pushups every day? he has excelled too, but doing his 50 pushups without effort he is not challenging himself nearly as much as the former subject, even if his accomplishment is much more impressive, as long as all you are seeing is the accomplishment itself.
     
  11. Rebel Wado

    Rebel Wado Valued Member

    I'm with Fish of Doom. Reading the article, the title seemed fine and some good points, but to me the article almost seemed like a misunderstanding.

    For one, "The world is full of 30- and 40-year-olds who start martial arts training believing that, if they train hard enough, they can become great warriors capable of taking on hordes of opponents Bruce Lee-style. Most people who have have no emotional investment in the martial arts find this kind of thinking laughable, and I'm with them. I have no such illusions." -- Almost reads to me like you don't have an emotional investment in martial arts... kind of seems backwards... martial arts is heart and soul as with any endeavor that one really CARES about.

    For two, "Me, I'll likely be just getting my black belts as the weaker and slower start setting in--and I was never particularly strong or quick to begin with. I'll most likely have children by then, too, which means I won't have the time to train every day or the money to have my pick of instructors or programs. The best I can hope for at this point, then, is a long struggle to become, and then to remain, a mediocre black belt in two martial arts that have largely been watered down for mass-consumption." -- why are you settling for watered down martial arts? Sounds almost like an excuse.

    For three, "So many of us, I think, cling to the unrealistic hope of becoming like The Karate Kid's Mr. Myagi, in old age taking on five young black belts at the same time. I think there would be less of this if more of us realized what a privilege it is to be an ordinary martial artist. I, for one, am looking forward to many years of happy mediocrity." -- Some of the most decent and humble people I've ever met were people that fought NHB and full contact... they were happy to be alive. I don't see the humility in your words Owl.

    Sorry, I know words aren't always interpreted the way you want. Just something about the tone of the article just didn't seem humble to me.
     
  12. 47MartialMan

    47MartialMan Valued Member

    Are we speaking in terms of 30's?

    I cant even remember when I was 30 :(
     
  13. Theforgotten

    Theforgotten Drifting Aimlessly

    I think that the main problem, Owlmat, is that you are thinking mostly in terms of competing and beating up others. There is far more to being a martial artist than just physically defeating another person. If you are not able to defeat another person in competition, then this doesn't make you any less of a martial artist, especially if you are passed your physical prime. It just simply means that you do not excel at that particular form of competition. There is far more to it than just beating up others. As others have said, it is more about challenging yourself, overcoming yourself, and experiencing the joy and sense of accomplishment that comes with doing so. You are only mediocre if you quit on yourself and/or sell yourself short. You should always seek to enjoy your training and maximize your potential within your given style despite your limitations. You may never be Bruce Lee, but that doesn't mean that you can't be a good martial artist in your own right :cool:.
     
  14. righty

    righty Valued Member

    Hey, young people can be mediocre too!
     
  15. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    I don't want to excel over my peers. That's the whole point of the article: I don't need to excel over anyone for my training to be worthwhile. The 50-year-old you're talking about is going to be me, and my point is that we should be okay with that and enjoy the process rather than expecting the martial arts to turn us into supermen.
     
  16. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    First of all, I'm not particularly interested in competing or beating up others; if I was I wouldn't be training aikido. But the terms that have been used in this conversation so far (such as mediocre, ordinary, and excel) mean nothing without comparison to someone else.

    Beyond that, we agree more than we disagree. The point of the article is that we ought to be enjoying what we can do and working to make the best of it rather than clinging to unrealistic fantasies that will only disappoint us in the end.
     
  17. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    not wanting to be superman is not settling on mediocrity. not by a long shot. i'm not a very positive person, myself, but seriously, that attitude is defeatist and counter-productive. please, go train, and worry less. you'll get much better results that way.

    frank herbert, a sci-fi writer, once wrote through one of the characters in one of his dune novels: "Do not be trapped by the need to achieve anything. This way, you achieve everything". now, i know this is a thought terminating cliché, as most aphorisms tend to be, but it applies to this situation. simply train, and do not worry about excelling OR about not excelling. it's by doing that, that you actually excel, by surpassing yourself and focusing on your own development.
     
  18. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    My issue with what you're saying here is the word settling. Nowhere in the article do I say anything about settling. I'm not suggesting that we do any less than our best or stop trying to improve ourselves; I'm suggesting that we not set the bar impossibly high.

    A lot of people who could be very happy martial artists quit because their training does not deliver unbeatable skill, perfect bodies, or oneness with God. If we (especially those of us who missed our chance to have learned the basics of our arts before we reached our physical peaks) stop chasing these pipe dreams and start focusing on (as you said) developing and surpassing ourselves, we could be much happier as martial artists. I don't think that's settling.
     
  19. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    ok, counter-argument rearranging for clarification: my opinion is that we should not set any bar at all, except where needed and manageable for specific goals. do, and go wherever what you do might take you. if you spot something in particular that you know is within your grasp, strive for that, but never resign yourself to not being able to do something. simply improve yourself so that you are able to do more than you can now, or to deteriorate less than you would if you simply didn't care.

    in the end i think we ended up saying more or less the same thing though, but we might be approaching it with a different emphasis.
     
  20. OwlMAtt

    OwlMAtt Armed and Scrupulous

    I agree with that. Could you explain what I've said that indicates a lack of emotional investment? I'm not sure I understand.

    Because of the time and money conflicts i mentioned in the passage that you quoted. Also, I am of the opinion that the vast majority of aikido and taekwondo are watered down for mass consumption, but that is an argument for another thread.

    I think accepting my limitations and resolving to do the best I can within the constraints of those limitations is as humble as I can be. I'm not sure I understand; what could I have said that would have been more humble?
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2011

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