I’ve been doing BJJ for around 4 months now but every week I question why I’m doing it. I do have a tendency to overthink things like this but it’s confusing me. When I go to class I really enjoy being there and I’m always really glad that I went. Feeling much better after class and having fun whilst being there is very positive. Everyone is really sound and the instruction is top notch. I’m not too concerned about my progression when compared to others – I’m aware that we all learn at different paces and that I’m on my own learning path. However when it comes to Tuesday lunchtime I start asking myself “Do I want to go to class tonight” and it’s always really hard to force myself to go and when I ask why I’m doing it, I don’t have an answer. It’s not as bad on Thursday when I’ve been to Tuesday’s class but if I skip Tuesday then it’s just as hard to go on Thursday. Even when I’ve been the week before. Then I’m fine all week until around Sunday / Monday and the thoughts start creeping in again. So I’m looking for some advice please. I understand that we all have a bit of laziness in us and that sometimes we need to force ourselves to get off our back sides and do something, fine, but I’m a really active person in other areas of my life and I’m really driven. I don’t class myself to be lazy. I do tend to avoid structure in my life. I’m the same if I have any sort of plans in the evening after work. I tend to wish that I didn’t have to do it so that I could just do my own thing. It’s not the same in the mornings or at weekends, only weekdays after work, but that’s when classes are. I started martial arts again after practicing as a kid knowing that it gave me structure and discipline, thinking that perhaps I’m missing these things from my life and that it would do me good. Plus working alone all day (I run my own business from home) means that I don’t get much social interaction so doing BJJ helps with that. Thanks, Mark
First off: I'm not saying that's the same in your case! I do different MAs during the week and at some point, I noticed how hard it got for me to go to my HKD-class. I was thinking through this for more then a year, until I was honest enough to myself and face "my" truth: I just don't enjoy it as much anymore as I used to. The people are nice enough, one trainer especially, but it's just not the right thing for me anymore (the style is great, but the rest doesn't fit my needs anymore). So, even though it was a difficult decision, I chose to look around for something else and found a new school, where I can't wait to get to train again. I was even double lucky: The teacher there are friends with my Sensei, so it works out really well in both: The technical side of training and the more "social" side. So now I'm at a point again, where I can't wait to get to training every day. Mustn't be about laziness. Could be a similar reason to my problem with my HKD-class or something totally else - still not necessarily laziness. Sounds a bit like a fried of mine: I took him to one of my classes once and he really enjoyed it. He attended a few times and signed the contract, because he liked it. After around four or five weeks he took his "first week off" (due to work), came once or twice after that again - and was never to be seen again. He really had fun and noticed it was good for him, but there were two bigger problems for him: He couldn't get used to attending classes regularly, because it just wasn't for him. This "obligation" to show up at fixed times all the time - aside from his job, that's just not what he likes and can do long-term. (For circa 7(?) months now he wants to try Karate, which is closer to him. I hope he gets around to it (or anything else for that matter), because the exercise was good for him. "Freed his mind" so to speak) The other problem was the time: The training ended to late for him. He has to get to bed early and that training ended around the time, he usually goes to bed. I know that. Training is essentially the only time I meet with other people. Very stressful (for me; I'm special ), but worth it ^^
Calling it now. You sound lazy. It's just a habit you need to break. I was much the same when I started. Good luck
My solution to this problem (inconsistency in attendance for almost anything other than work) has been to two fold 1) Adobt the maxim 'Just show up'. If you can get your ass up and to the venue if you still can't be arsed to train then you don't have to (pro tip: you will want to). 2) maintain momentum. As getting into gear and getting there is half the battle you need to not allow yourself the time to sit and get comfortable to the extent that you want to just stay home. My schedule is immense and my training schedule is 5days straight with weekends off. After work or study I come home, have a coffee, grab a cereal bar, grab my gear and go. Else my energy drops. Also, stay hydrated! Keeps energy levels sturdy. Hope that helps, good luck with class.
Thanks, Chadderz. That provoked some thought, which is good. I think in part you are right as I have fits and starts. For example last week was: Monday: Nothing Tuesday: Climbing, then BJJ Wednesday: Mountain biking Thursday: Mountain biking then BJJ Friday: Mountain biking Saturday: Easy walk Sunday: Weights then easy walk This left me really satisfied but very tired and I felt like I did too much / crammed too much in. Or at least that's what I told myself. So this week has been quite the opposite and all I've done is mountain biking once and climbing once. Quite a contrast to last week and no consistency. I don't feel satisfied but I do feel more rested and I've missed BJJ. I seem to be all or nothing!
This is part of the issue I think as I work from home. When I've been at home all day it's hard to drag my back side out. I always feel better once I'm warming up for class and always love it. It doesn't help when I'm being indecisive about keeping on training and I don't know if I'm just wussing out and taking the easy route or what. It's confusing because I enjoy it so much. Is it common to have to push yourself to go and do something that you like? It seems odd. I never have to push myself to go climbing or mountain biking but I can do them whenever I like, within reason and around work of course.
It's only too much if you are hurting or have other priorities. Try and keep up and eventually it will be habit.
Obviously I can only speak for me - but, nope, if I like doing something (like go and train) I usually can't wait to get there. Certainly don't have to push myself. That's why I realized: Hapkido, in this group, isn't for me anymore. I owe it to myself not for force me to do something I don't like anymore. Not if there are alternatives.
This sounds like me but I feel that I should probably just grow a pair and get on with it as I like what I get from the training and understand that I have to put wood on the fire before I can expect heat back in return. I just don't know if I'm forcing myself to be something I'm not.
Training can be pretty gruelling and can be a very unflattering mirror which challenges your self identity/self perception; to be honest I think a certain level of masocism is required to go do that after a long day unless you really crave it. I'd say reluctance to some degree is not that surprising. Many people won't challenge themselves or humble themselves to do it at all. If you really want to then you will go, having to do it by someone else's schedule rather than as the whim/desire takes you in order to remain consistent is just a small price to pay
If it was easy, everybody would be a blackbelt, and it wouldn't be worth the struggle. You be already said you enjoy the training, keep it up!
