Tips for Applying MA Philosophy to Everyday Life

Ignore martial arts philosophy. Even that which isn't over-glamourized hype. You don't need to be plumbing the depths of Art of War or Zhuangzi at the moment. You need easily accessible advice. If you want to read something, find a reputable book on conflict resolution, social psychology, etc. While there may be lessons in The Book of Five Rings,

 

Yeah, you could probably glean some insight from The Book of Five Rings relevant to anything from changing a tyre to competitive paper plane racing, if you studied it for long enough.

Unless by conflict resolution you mean "chopping people up with swords".

 

"Threaten to break a man's teeth and you'll scare him for a day. Actually break his teeth and you'll scare him for a lifetime."

 

Register his home and cellular phone numbers with various internet based "wake up" services for several random times a night and you'll exhaust him for a lifetime.... :evil: Or at least until he changes his number

 

Thanks for completing that thought for me, David. Looks like I hit "Submit" prematurely and then got distracted.

 

Can I say a big thanks to all for your suggestions.

 

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There's theory, then there's practice. The truth is that the culture of inaction described by OP is very common in the workplace. Not wanting to rock the boat is par for the course from upper management/HR depts. Been there, done that. I too work in a female-dominated company and I too have dealt bullying behavior. Bullies are often smart about it as they know how much they can push it without clearly stepping over the line, then one day YOU explode and now they look at you like you're a lunatic. Another scenario is everyone knows it but collective inertia at all levels means nothing is ever done about it. If it doesn't GRAVELY affect other employees (i.e. if people don't set limits early on and keep taking it) and if it doesn't directly impact company operations, HR won't do a thing about it. Be sure of it. You can all you want but it's a total waste of time if HR doesn't give a hoot. Go talk to the bullies. Be firm and set clear limits. And look for another job, though I'll tell you right now this is a common scenario...

 

what does any of this have to do with "martial arts"?

 

Be strong, fight back, never back up.

A friend of mine lives in an Indian reservation. Since he is white, he had a lot of trouble from the local young guys. One day he stood on his ground and fought back. Since he was the 2nd place in Michigan state wrestling, he took his opponent down effortless without hurting him. His opponent respected his ability and courage and later on became his best friend. If he punch on his opponent's face and broke his opponent's nose, the outcome could be different. IMO, the "grappling art" can lead into more civilized solution than the "striking art" can.

Take your opponent down, control him on the ground, squeeze your arm tighter and tighter, and ask him whether he wants you to be his friend, or to be his enemy.

 

Do not get physical.

There is no place for violence in the workplace.

Use email to acknowledge and confirm tasks that you have been allocated. Use email to confirm that you have finished tasks to spec and to deadline. I.e do your job well and be seen to be doing your job well.

Where the martial philosophy comes in is about how you conduct yourself when you are mistreated, stand your ground. Do not escalate. Be assertive. Not aggressive, not submissive.

If an individuals behavior towards you is unacceptable in a professional environment, take them to one side. tell them that their behavior is unacceptable in a business environment and tell them that this behavior is going to stop. Stand your ground. Simply state your point. If they try to ague do not get sucked in to playing their game. Use a broken record technique simpley restate your point. If they try to press your emotional buttons do not get sucked in to playing their game. If they say its only harmless fun simply repeat - your behavior is unacceptable. Do not let them distract, dictate, or control the conversation.

Tell them that you have spoken to them in private because it is the professional and courteous thing to do. Once you are happy that you have made your point end the conversation and leave it on your terms.

If they act inappropriately again speak to them privately again and say that if they do it again that you will have to pick them up on it in public.

If they do it a third time pick them up on it on the spot and say.

"This behavior is not acceptable in a work environment. We have discussed this in private. You will not behave like this towards me again. "

Don't be emotional, don't be defensive, don't be offensive, be assertive. If they dispute what you are saying simply repeat. "this behavior is not acceptable in the work environment. You will not behave like this towards me again".

If that fails put Colon blow in thier coffee.

 

See how to guide below



[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rk3zo-k-2QA"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rk3zo-k-2QA[/ame]

 

The Buddhist approach is converting your enemies to friends and allies. And then they would become your guardians instead of breaking them down. I would have approached them, and posed questions. "Why do you do X?" without being to confrontational and then they would think to answer. And bullying doesnt have a reason behind it, so they would get blank. And try to use the word "please" then, like "please I dont like to be bullied". Bullies are empty and need emotion, so try to talk emotional like that. Try to make your strategy less intellectual and methodic and more emotional. Like water.

Dont approach them all together, one on one. Talk to their "strongest".

But never "back" "down", then theill lose respect for you and bully you more. As bullies seeks the weak ones.

Good luch

 

If you have courage to stand up and fight for what you believe is right, people will respect you.

A friend of mine worked in the Quaker Oats company. There were 3 guys didn't like him and caused him troubles all the time. One day he asked his wife about how much money that they had in the bank. He told his wife that he might lose his job that day. That day, he met those 3 guys. He used a foot sweep to take one guy down. The falling was so hard, it not only shocked that guy, it also scared the other 2 guys. After that day, those 3 guys left him along and minded their own business. He kept his job until he retired from it. He told me that instead of quitting his job that day, a "foot sweep" had saved his job.

 

Here's a few things that have helped me:

1. Take vitamins..getting an alternative perspective on your life and way can be a great tool in meditation which can lead to a more creative outlook on life..and martial arts...this tool can help you get around barriers that you are focusing on or facing in everyday life as well..

2..Try to set up a plan for yourself..

3..If that doesnt get the whole 100% that you want then ask people for help..but realize that they are people to..they are not here to serve you..but see if you can come to terms with them while seeking these answers about yourself...and your level of participation in martial arts!

 

I think at one node..you have to accept that you are active in the creation of your experience and reality..to a necessary degree..that you can ask..what Have I come from..what have I become..and where am I going?