Need advice for self defence

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by TheNatureProphe, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. TheNatureProphe

    TheNatureProphe New Member

    Hello everybody.

    This is my first posting here and I would like to ask for an opinion.

    So, I am generally I very calm person and have never gotten into a fight, or more then 10 years I haven't gotten into a fight and I live in a small town and recently I had an encounter with this guy that tries to bully me in different ways, and so far I have been handling the situation peacefully, but it might happen that he will soon attack me.

    I have been going to the gym for a while now and I am training Shotokan Karate for 2 years now. I am 24. I am pretty strong, I do not drink, I do not smoke, I have good reflexes, but I have never gotten into a real fight.

    This guy is a bit of a drunk and a smoker and look really week, he mostly has his words and tries to drive fear into me by trying to be dominant and making himself look powerful(althought he really doesn't look that way) He recently also started making images on the internet with my name on it and some bully jokes and statuses on Social Media, he really hates me and he has hate speech like I will wipe the floor with him... really childisish stuff...

    So my question is, can you give me any advice if I cannot handle the situation peacefully and if he attacks me?
     
  2. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

    First, welcome :)

    Second I am sorry to hear you are going through all this and yes there is a lot of options available, but first I would like to know where you are based (country, state etc..) because that can have a difference on the options available

    We will get you through this :)
     
  3. TheNatureProphe

    TheNatureProphe New Member

    Thank you.

    I am from Europes, the typical balkanic countries, wouldn't go more into details about location, I like my anonymousity.

    And thanks again. : )
     
  4. Emanon

    Emanon New Member

    Hi,

    This isn't as easy as just getting info from a forum post. There is too much involved. The first thing that comes to mind is the old saying "it takes 2 to Tango." This may be very simplistic but the point is that he wants to dance and he needs you to dance with. Every time you get angry or go searching the internet for answers or argue with him or any thing else that keeps the channel open; you are basically dancing with him. Then you end up complaining that he steps on your toes. I know it's difficult to actually do but ignoring and smiling is a good idea. Let him keep making a fool of himself, I'm sure everyone already knows he's an idiot. By getting worked up you are hurting yourself for his stupidity. Until he physically confronts you all you can do is let it slide by like passing rain clouds. "We can't control the winds but we can adjust our sails."

    Now, as far as self defense? That's not a bad idea in any case. However choice is important.
    For purely self defense I wouldn't choose karate. There is more to karate than just self defense and that may take too long. Most modern karate schools may be advertising self defense but(even though I am a karate practitioner ) don't believe it. Actually I just finished reading something interesting (although a bit harsh) on this blog called https://outercirclekarate.blogspot.com It points out some of the pitfalls of modern karate schools...but I digress. My point is that training someplace geared specifically toward self defense would be a better option or a gym teaching kickboxing, boxing, wrestling, grappling, BJJ, Muay Thai or any other "immediately" applicable instruction. But remember. you are very much in control of how much he affects you. He gains strength by your frustration. Don't confront him but don't back down either. And if he comes near you, make sure to keep the proper distance and tell him to please keep back a few feet.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2016
  5. Knee Rider

    Knee Rider Valued Member Supporter

    I'm in no way qualified to give you proper self protection advice but I would say the guy seems to be all talk. He sounds like the type of dude who wants to raise his social status and self esteem by using you as a proxy.

    Controlling the situation through not entering into his ego games as you have been sounds like the high ground. Be gently assertive and if he looks like he's prepared to escalate you could most likely put him on his **** with one shot.

    Guys like this are usually all bark.
     
  6. Bruised Lee

    Bruised Lee Valued Member

    Easy one really, speak to the police, make them aware of the bullying and give them evidence of the social media stuff. They'll do the rest, no need for violence but if it ever came to it you've covered yourself
     
  7. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    I'd just totally ignore him. Be assertive and don't give him anything. Delete him from social media too.
     
  8. TwirlinMerlin

    TwirlinMerlin Valued Member

    In my experience, guys that play the tough guy/aggressor are just as good at playing the victim when things don't go their way. For example, say you finally have enough of his crap and you get physical with him and put him in his place. Next thing you know he's convincing the police that you're a crazy guy with an anger problem that knows Karate and you end up being the one who gets into trouble. I'd just try to avoid and ignore him if possible. Most likely he'll get bored with not getting the thrill of seeing that he's getting under your skin and he'll move along.
     
  9. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool Spes mea in nihil Deus MAP 2017 Moi Award

    It sounds like hes trying to use you to raise his standing the the human social hiarchy, humans have very ape like instincts sometimes. The best course of action is, as already said, reduce your exposure to him, block him on social media, act assertive in real life (hes looking for an easy victim), and try not to get drawn into conversations with him. He'll soon find a different person to act out his insecurities on.
     
  10. raaeoh

    raaeoh never tell me the odds

    Don't let it bother you. Harder said than.done I know. Ignore all the comments. Delete him from any social accounts he may be on. Un less he physically attempts to harm you its all chest pumping.

    Never assume that he is a unskilled weakling. He very likely is...... but tou never really know. If he is just a weak thug he is likely not afraid to use a weapon if he is in fear.
     

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