Martial Arts Planet  

Go Back   Martial Arts Planet > General Topics > Off Topic Area

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 12:54 PM
Infrazael's Avatar
Infrazael Infrazael is offline
Arrogant & Selfish
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nowhere
Age: 21
Posts: 3,446
Infra's how-to-be-a-Baller-guide

Allright you foos, follow these steps and you're guaranteed to be rollin with the likes of Infraz and Chimp in no time. But you need to step your ATTITUDE a little bit and take a look at what kinda mess you're in. So DON'T BE A JACKOFF AND LISTEN UP SON, CUZ I'M NOT REPEATING THIS SHIZA TWICE!!!

Cuz THIS might be happening to your MENTAL STATE IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIZZNIT.


Allright . . . . . first, an example of what a Baller IS. Some of you may not be familiar with the term. So let me make it simple for all you foos out there, a Baller is someone who gets what they want, when they want, brags about it, and NO YOU CAN'T DO A DAMNED THING YA SISSYS!!!!

So an FYI . . . . . . THIS individual is a TRUE BALLER TO THE CORE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ-TZk4gPKM

Watch first how he's playing the famed Warcraft III Battlenet game called "DotA" for "Defense of the Ancients." You can google this if you want. So the initial thought is . . . . WHAT A DAMNED NERD/GEEK/FREAK/LOSER/PUSSY. Warning: THIS IS NOT TRUE AT ALL!!!!! Notice how he just outstares grandma when she comes in? He doesn't even budge. First sign of "don't you dare tell me what to do women.

Afterwards, watch carefully at all of the SMOKING HOT BABES just sitting there, obediantely, as if they wanna be there. That's another sign of Ballerdom -- getting your bf/gf to learn their place -- THAT'S RIGHT -- YOU HEARD ME. So it works like this: he gets his friends together, they bring their girls. They plat DotA all day; the girls wait without complaining. Then they do the YOU-KNOW-WHAT afterwards. Then what happens next is even more interesting, but may be overlooked by all you non-Ballers right now.

The main dude (the DJ) basically goes out at night with a bunch of chicks, gets them drunk, etc, etc, etc . . . . DOES HE CARE ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! Seriously, the amount of POON he's getting clearly shows his dominance over the world around him -- that's a quality of a true Baller that needs to be honed over time; the ability to get others to do what you want them to, whether it's one person or a whole group.

So, that's the synopsis. Watch the video repeatedly; you'll understand. If not, you SERIOUSLY have problems. SERIOUSLY. But then again not everyone can become a real hardcore Baller so I suggest you keep something else in mind for now, like maybe a servitor position in life or whatever. I could care less.

So, let's go through some of the BASIC steps (yes, these are primitive steps for those who are naturally "hindered"):

1. Don't be a pussy. []

2. Don't let people push you. Push them back. With their head towards the ground. []

3. Don't be scared to talk trash. If someone talks back, KTFO THAT FOO. []

4. Learn MA. Fight with the MA. Become the class badass. Then become the local badass by kicking the badass of the most badass team besides yours. []

5. Get yourself a decent ride, whether it's fast, nice, or both (recommended). Higher-up brand names are a plus, such as BMW, Porsche, etc. And MAKE DAMNED SURE YOU SPAM THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR RIDE TO YOUR PREY(S). []

6.Go race some cats. If you win, you've got the bragging rights. If you lose, break his car, then break his face. Then you're bound to get bragging rights either way; the second also generates fear and respect and gets you further up into Ballerdom. []

7.(if male) Get lots of chicks while they're on substances. The more at once, the better. (if female) Do whatever fits your bill. Chicks are too random for me to make on general rule of thumb. []

8. Make damned sure you don't get sucked into this "love" business or whatever other names they've come up with. Just consumer marketing ploys. Go find more birds . . . see if you can kill a few with just one stone (this is representing youself for you metaphor noobs). []

9.Learn to properly wield your bragging rights. Learn to manipulate, adapt, SURVIVE, especially against rival Ballers or aspiring-Ballers. Perpetuate your skills and everything else amazing about yourself by over-inflating whatever the hell you're talking about, but do so like a Ninjer almost. Old schoolers, knock newcomers outta their damned seats cuz we can't get our places taken. []

10. Repeat Process. If you don't, then you're certainly not cut out to be a real, hardcore Baller that's representin. []

























CUZ I'M A BALLER AND IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BRAGGING RIGHTS!!!



Ballers-to-date

1. Infrazael
2. Chimpcheng





























































/sarcasm
__________________
"There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings" - Friedrich Nietzsche

Last edited by Infrazael; 21-Oct-2006 at 12:59 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 01:14 PM
Chimpcheng's Avatar
Chimpcheng Chimpcheng is offline
Bluffin' with my muffin



 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Away with the faeries.
Age: 33
Posts: 6,894
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
__________________
[wrydolphin] 8:54 pm: He is a Chimp, the filthiest of all the great apes. He has to be dirty minded, its genetic.

[Lily] 6:12 am: I can't control my fingers today
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 01:15 PM
Origami Itto's Avatar
Origami Itto Origami Itto is offline
Walking Paths
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Athens, Greece
Age: 29
Posts: 949
Is this the guide to the real ultimate power??


Edit: the more i watch it, the wilder my thoughts get...



Timeline:

- Wth is this? Really well made for a parody

- Infra needs to get laid more

- Hot girls

- OMG it is an actual real video!

- Online gaming is officially cool

- Yeah, those girls are hot

- I can see the future: Success at an MMO has replaced the expensive car - "lolz, his guild still hasn't cleared AQ, this guy will never get laid!"

- Maybe i should have played DotA...
__________________
Caution: May contain traces of Nut.

Last edited by Origami Itto; 21-Oct-2006 at 01:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 01:27 PM
Athleng Nordic's Avatar
Athleng Nordic Athleng Nordic is offline
Sadly passed away. RIP.


 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: On the bike or in the Drakkar
Age: 42
Posts: 11,928
Hey snoogums, you're off a bit. I don't pimp a ride with anyone else but a biyotch. Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.
__________________
Nordic

You need to be clunked with a Clue-by-4.
Wise men create proverbs, fools repeat them.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 01:33 PM
Origami Itto's Avatar
Origami Itto Origami Itto is offline
Walking Paths
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Athens, Greece
Age: 29
Posts: 949
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic
Hey snoogums, you're off a bit. I don't pimp a ride with anyone else but a biyotch. Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.
Flying drakkar?
__________________
Caution: May contain traces of Nut.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 01:40 PM
Athleng Nordic's Avatar
Athleng Nordic Athleng Nordic is offline
Sadly passed away. RIP.


 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: On the bike or in the Drakkar
Age: 42
Posts: 11,928
Quote:
Originally Posted by Origami Itto
Flying drakkar?
With a polished chrome prow piece and everything.
__________________
Nordic

You need to be clunked with a Clue-by-4.
Wise men create proverbs, fools repeat them.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:22 PM
leon_x's Avatar
leon_x leon_x is offline
Dai Low
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Age: 26
Posts: 586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic
Hey snoogums, you're off a bit. I don't pimp a ride with anyone else but a biyotch. Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.

NOOO... cars are better... plus you got more passengers to do a drive by on rival ballers
__________________
"Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad..." Russell Peters

Free bananas
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:25 PM
Athleng Nordic's Avatar
Athleng Nordic Athleng Nordic is offline
Sadly passed away. RIP.


 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: On the bike or in the Drakkar
Age: 42
Posts: 11,928
Quote:
Originally Posted by leon_x
NOOO... cars are better... plus you got more passengers to do a drive by on rival ballers
Bikes are kewl, cars are a waste of prescious natural resources. I bet you drive an "Ecnomical" car too.
__________________
Nordic

You need to be clunked with a Clue-by-4.
Wise men create proverbs, fools repeat them.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:34 PM
Mei Hua's Avatar
Mei Hua Mei Hua is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Minneapolis
Age: 32
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic
Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.
A little hint, a real Baller drives a big truck
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:35 PM
leon_x's Avatar
leon_x leon_x is offline
Dai Low
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Age: 26
Posts: 586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic
Bikes are kewl, cars are a waste of prescious natural resources. I bet you drive an "Ecnomical" car too.
well i drive a bmw 318.. bikes annoy me on the road!
__________________
"Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad..." Russell Peters

Free bananas
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:38 PM
Athleng Nordic's Avatar
Athleng Nordic Athleng Nordic is offline
Sadly passed away. RIP.


 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: On the bike or in the Drakkar
Age: 42
Posts: 11,928
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mei Hua
A little hint, a real Baller drives a big truck
See if you had balls you'd ride a bike, not get into a super-pussy cage.



Quote:
Originally Posted by leon_x
well i drive a bmw 318.. bikes annoy me on the road!
Not nearly as much as you cagers annoy bikers. A beamer huh? So how much did you over-pay for the cage?
__________________
Nordic

You need to be clunked with a Clue-by-4.
Wise men create proverbs, fools repeat them.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:42 PM
Mei Hua's Avatar
Mei Hua Mei Hua is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Minneapolis
Age: 32
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic
See if you had balls you'd ride a bike, not get into a super-pussy cage.
LOL!

It may be a super-pussy cage, but at least I can load up my ladies into the hot tub sitting in the back and drive around and Ball like the pro I am.

Can you do that with a bike Nope, didn't think so...
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:43 PM
slipthejab's Avatar
slipthejab slipthejab is offline
l' orient est rouge!


 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: China most of the time
Age: 38
Posts: 20,160
If you ain't rollin' in a '66 Super Sport Impala...
then biatch you ain't rollin'.

And if you ain't rollin' then you ain't ballin'...

So you might as well get your punk ass back on the short bus and roll on down to the special-ed section with your short bus posse wearing the designed-by-yo-mamma-acid-wash-stretch-jeans and your played-out-like-it's-1985-jerry-curl.

Fo real.



Try to get with this... now these foo's be ballin' hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhAkmxBq6R0
__________________
Kogusoku
"On the battlefield, that would be about as wieldy and devastating as a chocolate teapot."

Last edited by slipthejab; 21-Oct-2006 at 04:50 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:45 PM
Athleng Nordic's Avatar
Athleng Nordic Athleng Nordic is offline
Sadly passed away. RIP.


 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: On the bike or in the Drakkar
Age: 42
Posts: 11,928
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mei Hua
LOL!

It may be a super-pussy cage, but at least I can load up my ladies into the hot tub sitting in the back and drive around and Ball like the pro I am.

Can you do that with a bike Nope, didn't think so...
That's the problem with you cager wanna-be ballers. You have Zero imagination, I too set the ol' lady on the back of the bike and do the "Hot Tubing" thing. Only we call it Warm Southern Rain. It's also a multi-tasking deal since I get the bike clean at the same time.



Quote:
Originally Posted by slipthejab
If you ain't rollin' in a '66 Super Sport Impala...
then biatch you ain't rollin'.

And if you ain't rollin' then you ain't ballin'...

So you might as well get your punk ass back on the short bus and roll on down to the special-ed section with your short bus posse wearing the designed-by-yo-mamma-acid-wash-stretch-jeans and your played-out-like-it's-1985-jerry-curl.

Fo real.


What slip said, except the part about the cage. Cages are still gay as all hell.
__________________
Nordic

You need to be clunked with a Clue-by-4.
Wise men create proverbs, fools repeat them.

Last edited by Nordic; 21-Oct-2006 at 04:47 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 21-Oct-2006, 04:47 PM
Mei Hua's Avatar
Mei Hua Mei Hua is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Minneapolis
Age: 32
Posts: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic
That's the problem with you cager wanna-be ballers. You have Zero imagination, I too set the ol' lady on the back of the bike and do the "Hot Tubing" thing. Only we call it Warm Southern Rain. It's also a multi-tasking deal since I get the bike clean at the same time.
LMAO!

The key word in that post; Lady


The key word in my post; Ladies
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Guide to kicking NaughtyKnight Tae Kwon Do 43 25-May-2005 01:25 PM
Training Guide Mr Fight General Martial Arts Discussion 6 16-May-2005 03:33 PM
Taliban TV Guide pgm316 Jokes 0 10-Sep-2002 04:52 PM


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:42 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
2001 - 2009 Intelligent Forums