Infra's how-to-be-a-Baller-guide

[Infrazael]

Allright you foos, follow these steps and you're guaranteed to be rollin with the likes of Infraz and Chimp in no time. But you need to step your ATTITUDE a little bit and take a look at what kinda mess you're in. So DON'T BE A JACKOFF AND LISTEN UP SON, CUZ I'M NOT REPEATING THIS SHIZA TWICE!!!

Cuz THIS might be happening to your MENTAL STATE IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIZZNIT.


Allright . . . . . first, an example of what a Baller IS. Some of you may not be familiar with the term. So let me make it simple for all you foos out there, a Baller is someone who gets what they want, when they want, brags about it, and NO YOU CAN'T DO A DAMNED THING YA SISSYS!!!!

So an FYI . . . . . . THIS individual is a TRUE BALLER TO THE CORE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ-TZk4gPKM

Watch first how he's playing the famed Warcraft III Battlenet game called "DotA" for "Defense of the Ancients." You can google this if you want. So the initial thought is . . . . WHAT A DAMNED NERD/GEEK/FREAK/LOSER/PUSSY. Warning: THIS IS NOT TRUE AT ALL!!!!! Notice how he just outstares grandma when she comes in? He doesn't even budge. First sign of "don't you dare tell me what to do women.

Afterwards, watch carefully at all of the SMOKING HOT BABES just sitting there, obediantely, as if they wanna be there. That's another sign of Ballerdom -- getting your bf/gf to learn their place -- THAT'S RIGHT -- YOU HEARD ME. So it works like this: he gets his friends together, they bring their girls. They plat DotA all day; the girls wait without complaining. Then they do the YOU-KNOW-WHAT afterwards. Then what happens next is even more interesting, but may be overlooked by all you non-Ballers right now.

The main dude (the DJ) basically goes out at night with a bunch of chicks, gets them drunk, etc, etc, etc . . . . DOES HE CARE ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! Seriously, the amount of POON he's getting clearly shows his dominance over the world around him -- that's a quality of a true Baller that needs to be honed over time; the ability to get others to do what you want them to, whether it's one person or a whole group.

So, that's the synopsis. Watch the video repeatedly; you'll understand. If not, you SERIOUSLY have problems. SERIOUSLY. But then again not everyone can become a real hardcore Baller so I suggest you keep something else in mind for now, like maybe a servitor position in life or whatever. I could care less.

So, let's go through some of the BASIC steps (yes, these are primitive steps for those who are naturally "hindered"):

1. Don't be a pussy. []

2. Don't let people push you. Push them back. With their head towards the ground. []

3. Don't be scared to talk trash. If someone talks back, KTFO THAT FOO. []

4. Learn MA. Fight with the MA. Become the class badass. Then become the local badass by kicking the badass of the most badass team besides yours. []

5. Get yourself a decent ride, whether it's fast, nice, or both (recommended). Higher-up brand names are a plus, such as BMW, Porsche, etc. And MAKE DAMNED SURE YOU SPAM THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR RIDE TO YOUR PREY(S). []

6.Go race some cats. If you win, you've got the bragging rights. If you lose, break his car, then break his face. Then you're bound to get bragging rights either way; the second also generates fear and respect and gets you further up into Ballerdom. []

7.(if male) Get lots of chicks while they're on substances. The more at once, the better. (if female) Do whatever fits your bill. Chicks are too random for me to make on general rule of thumb. []

8. Make damned sure you don't get sucked into this "love" business or whatever other names they've come up with. Just consumer marketing ploys. Go find more birds . . . see if you can kill a few with just one stone (this is representing youself for you metaphor noobs). []

9.Learn to properly wield your bragging rights. Learn to manipulate, adapt, SURVIVE, especially against rival Ballers or aspiring-Ballers. Perpetuate your skills and everything else amazing about yourself by over-inflating whatever the hell you're talking about, but do so like a Ninjer almost. Old schoolers, knock newcomers outta their damned seats cuz we can't get our places taken. []

10. Repeat Process. If you don't, then you're certainly not cut out to be a real, hardcore Baller that's representin. []

























CUZ I'M A BALLER AND IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BRAGGING RIGHTS!!!



Ballers-to-date

1. Infrazael
2. Chimpcheng





























































/sarcasm

[Chimpcheng]

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

[Origami Itto]

Is this the guide to the real ultimate power??


Edit: the more i watch it, the wilder my thoughts get...



Timeline:

- Wth is this? Really well made for a parody

- Infra needs to get laid more

- Hot girls

- OMG it is an actual real video!

- Online gaming is officially cool

- Yeah, those girls are hot

- I can see the future: Success at an MMO has replaced the expensive car - "lolz, his guild still hasn't cleared AQ, this guy will never get laid!"

- Maybe i should have played DotA...

[Athleng Nordic]

Hey snoogums, you're off a bit. I don't pimp a ride with anyone else but a biyotch. Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.

[Origami Itto]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Hey snoogums, you're off a bit. I don't pimp a ride with anyone else but a biyotch. Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.

Flying drakkar?

[Athleng Nordic]

Originally Posted by Origami Itto

Flying drakkar?

With a polished chrome prow piece and everything.

[leon_x]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Hey snoogums, you're off a bit. I don't pimp a ride with anyone else but a biyotch. Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.

NOOO... cars are better... plus you got more passengers to do a drive by on rival ballers

[Athleng Nordic]

Originally Posted by leon_x

NOOO... cars are better... plus you got more passengers to do a drive by on rival ballers

Bikes are kewl, cars are a waste of prescious natural resources. I bet you drive an "Ecnomical" car too.

[Mei Hua]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Cars are for pussys, bikes are for Ballers.

A little hint, a real Baller drives a big truck

[leon_x]

Originally Posted by Nordic

Bikes are kewl, cars are a waste of prescious natural resources. I bet you drive an "Ecnomical" car too.

well i drive a bmw 318.. bikes annoy me on the road!

[Athleng Nordic]

Originally Posted by Mei Hua

A little hint, a real Baller drives a big truck

See if you had balls you'd ride a bike, not get into a super-pussy cage.

Originally Posted by leon_x

well i drive a bmw 318.. bikes annoy me on the road!

Not nearly as much as you cagers annoy bikers. A beamer huh? So how much did you over-pay for the cage?

[Mei Hua]

Originally Posted by Nordic

See if you had balls you'd ride a bike, not get into a super-pussy cage.

LOL!

It may be a super-pussy cage, but at least I can load up my ladies into the hot tub sitting in the back and drive around and Ball like the pro I am.

Can you do that with a bike Nope, didn't think so...

[slipthejab]

If you ain't rollin' in a '66 Super Sport Impala...
then biatch you ain't rollin'.

And if you ain't rollin' then you ain't ballin'...

So you might as well get your punk ass back on the short bus and roll on down to the special-ed section with your short bus posse wearing the designed-by-yo-mamma-acid-wash-stretch-jeans and your played-out-like-it's-1985-jerry-curl.

Fo real.



Try to get with this... now these foo's be ballin' hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhAkmxBq6R0

[Athleng Nordic]

Originally Posted by Mei Hua

LOL!

It may be a super-pussy cage, but at least I can load up my ladies into the hot tub sitting in the back and drive around and Ball like the pro I am.

Can you do that with a bike Nope, didn't think so...

That's the problem with you cager wanna-be ballers. You have Zero imagination, I too set the ol' lady on the back of the bike and do the "Hot Tubing" thing. Only we call it Warm Southern Rain. It's also a multi-tasking deal since I get the bike clean at the same time.

Originally Posted by slipthejab

If you ain't rollin' in a '66 Super Sport Impala...
then biatch you ain't rollin'.

And if you ain't rollin' then you ain't ballin'...

So you might as well get your punk ass back on the short bus and roll on down to the special-ed section with your short bus posse wearing the designed-by-yo-mamma-acid-wash-stretch-jeans and your played-out-like-it's-1985-jerry-curl.

Fo real.

What slip said, except the part about the cage. Cages are still gay as all hell.

[Mei Hua]

Originally Posted by Nordic

That's the problem with you cager wanna-be ballers. You have Zero imagination, I too set the ol' lady on the back of the bike and do the "Hot Tubing" thing. Only we call it Warm Southern Rain. It's also a multi-tasking deal since I get the bike clean at the same time.

LMAO!

The key word in that post; Lady


The key word in my post; Ladies