To mom and dad

[Em-em]

Dear Mother and Dad,

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been late in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grrandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the village in Africa from which he came.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have syphillis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

Yours,

Your Loving Daughter

[Cain]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I know how to talk to my parents

Though I would HATE to be the attendant at the gas station if ti were real...

|Cain|

[saikyou]

LOL! so why do they have to sit?

[Em-em]

In my experience, I forgot to let them sit and the house just went upside down. The fire department arrived with all their stuff thinking that our town was being attacked by my giant angry dad.

now read totality's sig

[Knight_Errant]

that's a good tactic. I think I'll try that next time I fail academically/ get arrested/ do something else equally stupid...

[Em-em]

Failing is not stupid. It's normal.

[morphus]

I like that one

[Em-em]

I learned that a year ago, but if you failed because you didn't do your job, then that's stupid.

[saikyou]

about failing, its really not stupidity, its what you call laziness. (based from experience. he he he )

Originally posted by Em-em
now read totality's sig

speaking of sigs, em-em, why now na? are you planning to start a coup d' etat?

[Em-em]

I'm pro government darling My sig is used to counter laziness.

Don't read totality's sig on this one.

[Kinjiro Tsukasa]

I've seen this before (it's been around a while), but it's really true about putting bad grades in perspective -- much worse things could be happening.

[KickChick]

whew... reading that I thought that all my son had told me on the phone a few days ago wasn't quite so bad.... (although I don't know about his grades yet... he only told us of a few mishaps..... like.....

.... he lost his cell phone

... he parked his car off campus where he shouldn't have and his drivers side window was "shot" at, however stereo was not taken.

... and his "ATM" bank card is "not working" .... "Not Working??", I asked.....
... I had to inform him that it won't work if there is no money left in your account to spit out of the machine. Seems he depleted all his summer savings in the first 3 weeks of college....!!!

College is a learning experience ... !!!

[FrankCefalu]

lol thats funny