Eye contact & confrontation.

[Seb Spiers]

I had a TKD grading on Wednesday, and as per usual the master who came to dot he grading gave a bit of a speach to all the new first timers about what MA is all about and why TKD is so uterly brilliant.

He spoke about eye contact when you have a confrontation. His basic point was NEVER break eye contact as you dont want to give the attacker the impression that youre scared.

Ive been in a few situations outside club/bar/cinemas/football grounds and I have to say I've saved myself from having to fight on several occations by simply turning away and not looking directly into the "prospective attackers" eyes. When you stare into a thugs eyes his thoughts are not "oh he isnt breaking eye contact he must be stronger than me, I better walk away". He thinks, "He is squaring up to me, he wants to fight, I wont back away because I want to prove to my homies that I am the bigger man".

If somone starts stareing at you in a club, just break eye contact, then theyll think "pussy" or "wimp", but who cares if they tink youre a wimp. If you stare back, it starts something.

I didnt raise this query with my master during a grading as It'd be a bit cheeky, so I thought we could discuss it here.

Does/has the whole "dont break eye contact" think work/worked in you experiences?

[Hidden_Dragon]

Originally Posted by Seb Spiers

I had a TKD grading on Wednesday, and as per usual the master who came to dot he grading gave a bit of a speach to all the new first timers about what MA is all about and why TKD is so uterly brilliant.

He spoke about eye contact when you have a confrontation. His basic point was NEVER break eye contact as you dont want to give the attacker the impression that youre scared.

Ive been in a few situations outside club/bar/cinemas/football grounds and I have to say I've saved myself from having to fight on several occations by simply turning away and not looking directly into the "prospective attackers" eyes. When you stare into a thugs eyes his thoughts are not "oh he isnt breaking eye contact he must be stronger than me, I better walk away". He thinks, "He is squaring up to me, he wants to fight, I wont back away because I want to prove to my homies that I am the bigger man".

If somone starts stareing at you in a club, just break eye contact, then theyll think "pussy" or "wimp", but who cares if they tink youre a wimp. If you stare back, it starts something.

I didnt raise this query with my master during a grading as It'd be a bit cheeky, so I thought we could discuss it here.

Does/has the whole "dont break eye contact" think work/worked in you experiences?

Seems like you hit the nail on the head. I also think that breaking eye contact in situations such as in bars and clubs is a good think to do . Especially if you see the typical yobs who are blatantly up for any "man" who stares or gives them looks.

Perhaps your master means when there is no last resort or you are about to be attacked if you hold eye contact the attacker may think twice before proceding with his attack. They may think that you are not afraid and back down.

I totally agree with you about avoiding eye contact with "yobs". Keep your head high to show your not afraid but don't bother staring them out even if you know you could "have 'em" . People like that are a waste of time and so if they think your a wimp just imagine a sparring match with him .

[JKD_forever]

Heh, well from my experience it really depends when are you going to turn your eyes away and when not, i mean being pussy in every situation is not something i would be very proud off, better get my ass kicked. And TKD teacher i can see had many many conforntations lolZ! I guess thats the best techique you have anyway when u do pure TKD and want to defend ur self on street.
So answer to your question is really depends....

[Eero]

From my personal experiences I would say that you should break the eye contact, move away and complitely ignore a person who "stares" at you aggressively. But if that person is near to you or already talking to you I would not advice you to break the eye contact. I once did it and got a hook to my stomach from the attacker and a straight punch to the side of my head from the attackers friend who was waiting for the attacker to move. Still I was a better runner.


Edit: I have to add that I didn't practice martial arts at the time.

[47MartialMan]

Strange, two of my instructors would never make eye contact....hmmnnn

[andrewS]

I tend to disagree with your instructor. Too much eye contact implies you want to fight (but, 99% of people don't ..) and too little implies that you're intimidated.

I never avoid eye contact with anyone, or 'look away' per se, I look at them for 1-3 seconds and act as if I am indifferent to them.

A large part of avoiding confrontations is the way you carry yourself - if you're confident in yourself while not strutting around or worrying about every person that looks your way, you'll be fine.

[47MartialMan]

Yeah, though not looking directly at you they seem to see almost everything coming.

And if looking away is considered that one is intimated, then the agressor has been fooled and will suffer....seen it.


A large part of avoiding confrontations is the way you carry yourself
Sometines it is best to be humble or look intimidated.

[Shantari]

well.....im to stubborn of a fool to let such a thing as staring, more comonly known as mugging, to go by in questioned> If someone tries to mug me, i will do it back, and perhaps that stubbornous will be the end of me some day, but i will go down fighting!!!!!!!!!!!1

[MossIsGone84]

I think what your master may have meant is if you are in a "have to fight" situation dont break eye contact, possibly to give yourself a psychological advantage over your opponent. but if you arent in a fighting situation and some punk stares you down if would probably be wise to, as you said, just turn away and avoid the confrontaion right there

[47MartialMan]

I have seen so much stuff/fights start off a stare.

[holyheadjch]

I agree with Moss, if the fight is going to happen regardless, look right through him showing that you're not afraid, its amazing how many street punks back away at the slightest sign of counter aggression.

[NaughtyKnight]

When I want to pick fights I always stare dead straight into their eyes. Its one of the most threatening things you can do to a stranger (thats why many cultures wont look you in the face).

When I'm about to fight, I star dead into the guys eyes and it scares the crap out of them. They know that im no pussy thats going to take their crap, and they are going to have to fight hard or get knocked out.

So using my examples here is what I think.

1. If you dont want to get into fights, dont stay in eye contact with someone longer than to assertain if you know them. Breaking eye contact is not a sign of weakness, except if you are being started by them. How would you feel if someone was staring you down? You wouldnt like it.

2. If you are in a fight, before make sure you stare at them dead in the eyes. Dont look away, dont smile, dont blink. Just stare dead straight into them, like your trying to see into their soul. This is one of the scaries things that you can do pre fight.

[Freeform]

Breaking eye contact is only consciously considered weak if you do it by looking down. If you do want to break eye contact do so by looking immediatly left or right, it isn't a submissive motion.

[NaughtyKnight]

Originally Posted by Freeform

Breaking eye contact is only consciously considered weak if you do it by looking down. If you do want to break eye contact do so by looking immediatly left or right, it isn't a submissive motion.

Exactly right. Also try to trurn your whole head so it looks like your looking at something else, not that your averting your eyes from them.

[leeless]

A 1,000 yard stare can be very daunting. However, in a fight, I'd rather look around rather than tunnel visioning.