Hello. For those interested Martial arts is something special. I am the creator of system Gojushotokwonhapkichido. After spending two summers studying Karate at the local community center and watching enter the dragon 12 times in a row I realized that I possessed a singular gift and that I could make lots of friends - I MEAN, umm, that I already was the master. I even had the glow - even if it was only after I tugged on my choo choo. I have studied every martial art Amazon.com sells a book about and have mastered several mail order martial arts. I have also mastered the skill of making Bruce Lee noises and striking impressive stances. After many painstaking hours in my room down in my mom's basement I have merged all of these skills into one glorious art form. Because I am so lonely and have no real friends despite my attempts to sway them with drugs and my willingness to engage in filthy acts of sexual perversion - which I've since grown to enjoy profoundly, I will be available at any time day or night to teach you the inner secrets of my anus - I MEAN my Martial Art. Just write me at: www.Gojushotokwonhapkichidodick.com I also make videos of me dressed like a sheep and practicing my new art while singing "oops I did it again" by my idol Britney Spears. Want to join me?
Bigmikey, Can you please promote me to 25th dan in your art. I've got two swords, have read the Go Rin No Sho three times and have the Highlander boxed set. Thank you.
But do you have a mint condition boba fet in the box? I don't know what style you're USED to studying but gojoshotokwonhapkidchido has STANDARDS!! (That box set will get you an assistant instructor though, bring it over. I'll have my mom make us popcorn and we can discuss how you advance more quickly)
Do you do online certification and franchising? As a man with a printer and a black gi with gold trim, I am always interested in new types of certificates I can charge my students for. Do you have a weapons program? Do each of the different weapons have individual certificates you can test for? What about gi's? Can we have different coloured suits for different grades and charge them for that too?
Damn it I'm a grown man, I must stop laughing till I pee like this. I mean... I developed my own art to counter yours, called pee-quan. It's a demographic blend of imminent parts of stuff that embiggen the spectrum of thinkage in your natural capacitor for bandwidth allowance. In short, I win. Also www.llapgoch.org Wales's answer to Ecky Thump. If you wish to challenge me you must send me Ten thousand Welsh pounds and pay for my five star hotel room, where I shall eat cake and sleep a lot. If you beat me I'll share the bill with you. Can't ask fairer than that.
My style deals with real life applications and my weapons program follows suit. Currently I have completed my "Random Office Supply" weapons program. Using my state of the art VHS and BETAMAX tapes you can quickly master such weapons as: The red swingline stapler The staple remover Defensive thumb tack techniques Rulers: edged weapons for the new millenium And, Binder Clip Death touches. Next I'll be working on my Kitchen appliance series of audio casettes and illustrated posters where you'll learn how to employ weapons such as can openers, whisks, and the lethal meat tenderizer...
Will any of these new styles be any match for bicyclejutsu which seems to be all the rage here in Cambridge? http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Road-rage-riddle-as-cyclist-and-motorist-end-up-injured.htm
Can I join? I have original Han Solo in Carbonite and Anakin Skywalker figures with the original packaging and I've watched the Karate Kid on numerous occasions and have the Rocky boxed set? I know I'm just a girl but I really like sci-fi! YOU HAVE TO LET ME JOIN YOUR ART
Frodo... you have just attained 100th Dan in Gojushotokwonhapkidchido. All you have to do is send me your Han solo AND the Rocky boxed set and I'll send out your credentials....
