Final Realization.

This is going ot be a two-part post.

“Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death”.Miyamoto Musashi

I returned from an overseas trip two months ago. I've spent the six months before that in Iraq. Those six months were life changing for me. I would like to share some of my experiences and what I learned.

I'm sure many of you read U.S. Soldiers and the coaltion forces's blogs or books on their experience in Iraq, and maybe some of you have served there. Mine is different because I lived with the Iraqi people as one of them. I lived there as an American citizen, not as an Amercian soldier.

Iraq is my country of birth. After my birth my father fled because of the threat of execution. Now why would Saddam worry about a man in a small rural country-side city? He didn't. He had everyone working against each other. The person who reported as many persons as possible might get noticed and advance in the Baath Party. While those were few, they were a few too many, and most people who opposed Saddam were either dead, imprisoned, or like my father escaped, so the rest were cowered and those few dominated them. A simple yet extremely effective system.

After eighteen years I returned to Iraq and finally got to see it in my own comprehending eyes. For someone who lived comfortably here in America, it was a very unwelcome sight.

As I left Kuwait and entered Iraq, a desolate, empty landscape filled my vision, the "Welcome to Iraq" written in Arabic was marred and riddled with bullet holes, and it was very hot even though I arrived in late fall.

Not going through much detail, my time in Iraq became one of extreme self-reflection.

Not only was it because I didn't have any necessities that I've come to depend on like the internet and Western Restroom as they called them (yes you had to squat), and while these things may not sound like something you can't live without, it was extreme frustrating at the time.

While I rummaged through dozens of clothings trying to find something that fit my mood here, over there they were simply containted with having something to clothe themselves with.

And the simplest pleasures in life they enjoyed to the fullest. Taking a walk, having a meal with family, and visting friends is their main source of entertainment and it still continues even after the Mobile Phone and TV craze hit them after the fall of the previous regime.

Conversly every person has lost a family member. Whether it's a father, daughter, or brother, there is not one person who hasn't suffered a loss.

One time I was talking to a friend I made in Iraq. He expressed his concern at my health (after about five months in Iraq, I've given up the hope of ever returning to Amercia which caused me sever depression). I told him how I felt. He offered his sympathy and said to me:

"I know how you feel. It's how I felt when my father died."

First for him top compare his tradegy with my comparatively small problem shocked me.

Second I've never felt the loss of someone close. Sure my high school libarain died when I was in 11th grade and a friend of mine died in San Diego after a car crash, but that still would've never shook me like having a family member die.

"...resolute acceptance of death"

You might be wondering why I posted Miyamoto Musashi's famous quote in the beginning which brings me to the second part of my post.

In Iraq I had a couple of close calls. A sucide bomber killed about a dozen people in Karbala about a hundred metres away from me, and once when I tried to come close to a U.S. Soldier and talk to him he immediately pointed his rifle at my chest and started yelling for me to step back. I couldn't shout back in English because that would expose that I am in American which would cause unwanted attention, like being an Amercian spy, so I backed off.

I had a tense situation when I came back. I was catching up with friends at the mall and some guy started talking crap to us. Instead of the excitement mixed with fear feeling that I get, I was extremely calm. I accepted that death can be a factor if I engaged in any form of violance, which eliminated any unwanted feelings. If I fought that guy I was 100% postive that I would win.

This was way longer than I intended it to be. The most important part was the last one, but I wanted to give an account to what led up to that realization. That's it.

 

Thank you for the thoughtful reply.

I tried not to be too much detailed.

I wasn't really surprised how the U.S. Soldier reacted, I completely understand how he feels. When I was coming down from Al-Basra to Kuwait's border we were stopped along the international highway by a U.S. Convoy. Incidentally one of those that was stopped was an international security group. They had several nationals displaying Australia's and UK's Flags on their vests. I made no attempt to talk to them but they were very friendly to the locals and freely talked to them.

The situation in Iraq is under control, but with a constant threat of being overturned.

 

Awesome. +1 to southpaw's nomination. Most people have moved on with thoughts about Iraq so I'm not surprised.

-Kraen

 

Very good post. But i dont get one thing why did you think you where stuck in iraq / or why couldnt you get out ?

 

I am a fairly impulsive individual and before the time of my departure I was suicidal because of problems that ravaged my life.

My parents being the apart of my problems asked me if I wanted to take some time off from everything. I agreed and flew to Michigan where I spent about a month with my cousin before I decided to fly to Iraq to see my wartorn country and my relatives. It fit my mood at the time and even now I don't regret my decision. By the time I got to Iraq I was totally out of money.

I spent the half a year with my father's family or visting military bases. Unfortunately for the latter they wouldn't allow anyone in even though I showed them my passport. I was again desperate to enlist in any branch so I can leave. Don't ask me why I didn't do this when I was in MI. I wasn't thinking at the time.

I started to get desperate. So I called the U.S. Embassy in Iraq and they were of no help. In the end I called my father and he immediately flew and to get me back.

Our reunion was bittersweet since I've eluded them for more than five months and caused them no small amount of worry. Witnessing him see his family though after 28 years of seperation pushed me to tears.

After a month we returned to San Diego where we put all of this behind us and I am blissful to had a father like him.

 

Ah i understand, amazing story man.

 

Good post. You talk about the effect of the war... but what about the earlier sanctions? What do you think about the reasons for war?

 

First I like to apologize because I just realized that what I wrote might have been taken about this current war.

This is NOT the case.

This war. Started by United States of America is a Just War.

These effects are of the previous regime. Saddam's Dictatorship. While the the current Iraq War has held casualties, it's NOTHING compare to the genocide committed at Saddam's and the Baath parties hands.

Why is it a Just War?

Because people who were wronged were freed.

The right to own a car to drive their childern to school.

The right to have a phone to call family and friends.

The right to have a TV with channels NOT telling them how good their life is compare to the other nations while their childern die from disease and starvation.

The right to have a voice.

I don't know the motives the U.S.A had in mind.

I KNOW that people were freed

Freed from the rule of a DICTATOR WHO MURDERED SONS, FATHERS, BROTHERS AT THEIR DOORSTEP AND MADE THEIR FAMILY PAY FOR THE BULLET THAT WENT THROUGH THEIR HEADS.

That's why.

 

Well.. ok, considering your beliefs about the current war, I'm only led to say..

It was the west that put Saddam in power. He was always a puppet, if a badly behaved one on occasion.

Killing 1,000,000 people using economic sanctions is not just. Killing 800,000 people in war is not just. Littering Iraq with depleted uranium is not just. The war is clearly not just.

Temporary improvements in expression etc. have come at a very heavy price. The people are certainly not "free".

Iraqi Security Services "out of control"

I think you are being irrational. No offence.

 

I might have been a bit emotional on my last post. I still have those uncontrollable bursts

Southpaw is correct. I made this thread for a specific reason. I don't want it to steer off.

Let me say this parting note on this subject and by quoting this from Wiki:

I don't want to sound contradicting, but every day that I spent in Iraq I kept hearing these words.

"God curse the name of Saddam"

"Thank God for his Mercy"

"God bless America"-( I was startled the first time I heard this as well).

Basically. Iraqis have went through such extremes that they are willing to accept almost anything else then Saddam.

That's good enough for them from what I've seen.

 

I might have been a bit emotional on my last post. I still have those uncontrollable bursts

Southpaw is correct. I made this thread for a specific reason. I don't want it to steer off.

Let me say this parting note on the subject and by quoting this from Wiki:

I don't want to sound contradicting, but every day that I spent in Iraq I kept hearing these words.

"God curse the name of Saddam"

"Thank God for his Mercy"

"God bless America"-( I was startled the first time I heard this as well).

Basically. Iraqis have went through such extremes that they are willing to accept almost anything else then Saddam.

That's good enough for them from what I've seen.

 

Its very nice story. I think you can get good experience while the journey of Iraq.