Spartan Workout Rules: A Canadian Soldier in Afghanistan

[slipthejab]

I thought this was funny. Rule number 2 being the funniest.
w00t! Go Spartans!

Spartan Workout Rules: A Canadian Soldier in Afghanistan

1) Lactic acid is the Spartan’s friend. The Spartan knows the value of anaerobic failure, and actively seeks it out. If he falls on his face, he waits only as long as necessary to move again before he continues.

2) The Spartan takes no breaks between exercises, unless it’s to shove a non-Spartan out of the way.

3) The Spartan runs. He does not use Stairmasters, or stationary bikes, or ellipticals. He runs.

4) When the Spartan cannot run, he walks. When he cannot walk, he crawls. When he cannot crawl, he has failed.

5) The Spartan hits big muscles, like the back, the pectorals, the quadriceps and the glutes. He knows this means he is building functional muscle that will assist in the destruction of his enemies and in the production of testosterone (of which the Spartan has more than the average man).

6) By contrast, the Spartan does not waste much time on small muscles. They will grow as the result of functional exercise that hits the big muscles (see above). For example, the bicep is only useful in that it assists with chin-ups, and scaling enemy fortifications. Anything else is vanity.

7) The Spartan abhors cables and machines. This is for two reasons. First, to activate stabilizer muscles, the Spartan must depend on himself to balance the weight, not a machine. Second – look up the adjective “spartan” in the dictionary: “strict and austere.” You should be able to do a Spartan workout in a FOB.

8) The Spartan fears only one thing: his workout. The enemy pales in comparison to his workout. If he doesn’t fear his workout, it isn’t hard enough.

9) Puking is acceptable. Quitting is not. If he gives up here, he gives up in battle. This is unacceptable.

10) So nature abhors a vacuum, so the Spartan loathes missing a workout. A Spartan can complete a workout in his grandma’s basement, a hotel room, or in a city park.

11) If the Spartan is not in pain during his workout, he is wrong.

12) The Spartan never cheats. He maintains proper technique throughout his training, because he knows that smooth is fast, and that he will be mocked mercilessly for, “girly pull-ups”.

13) The Spartan knows the value of the basics: the push-up, the pull-up, the chin-up, the sit-up, the squat, and the dead-lift. He also knows the importance of variety, and seeks out different techniques of the above.

source: http://nodiets.wordpress.com/2007/08/13/train-like-a-spartan/

[koyo]

My favourite is missing.

The Spartan sees war as a rest between training.

regards koyo

[Knight_Errant]

Cool. But does nobody else find this 'spartan workout' stuff irritating? Particularly as the spartans were some of the most thoroughly evil gits in the ancient world. Might as well have a 'hitler workout'. I'm not saying the workout principles are wrong, I just find the packaging annoying.

[Fusen]

Particularly as the spartans were some of the finest warriors of the ancient world.

There you go, Ive fixed it for you.


cough cough a little history

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_democracy#Ancient_Sparta


'Ancient Greece, in its early period, was a loose collection of independent city states called poleis. Many of these poleis were oligarchies.[14] The most prominent Greek oligarchy, and the state with which democratic Athens is most often and most fruitfully compared, was Sparta. Yet Sparta, in its rejection of private wealth as a primary social differentiator, was a peculiar kind of oligarchy[15] and some scholars note its resemblance to democracy.[1][16][17] In Spartan government, the political power was divided between four bodies: two Spartan Kings (monarchy), gerousia (Counsil of Gerontes (Elders), including the two kings), the ephors (representatives who oversaw the Kings) and the apella (assembly of Spartans).

The two kings served as the head of the government. They ruled simultaneously but came from two separate lines. The dual kingship diluted the effective power of the executive office. The kings shared their judicial functions with other members of the gerousia. The members of the gerousia had to be over the age of 60 and were elected for life. In theory, any Spartan over that age could stand for election. However, in practice, they were selected from wealthy, aristocratic families. The gerousia possessed the crucial power of legislative initiative. Apella, the most democratic element, was the assembly where Spartans above the age of 30 elected the members of the gerousia and the ephors, and accepted or rejected gerousia's proposals. Finally, the five ephors were Spartans chosen in apella from the poorest social layers to oversee the actions of the kings and, if necessary, depose them.[18][19]

The creator of the Spartan system of rule was the legendary lawgiver Lycurgus. He is associated with the drastic reforms that were instituted in Sparta after the revolt of the helots in the second half of the 7th century BC. In order to prevent another helot revolt, Lycurgus devised the highly militarized communal system that made Sparta unique among the city-states of Greece. All his reforms were directed towards the three Spartan virtues: equality (among citizens), military fitness and austerity. It is also probable that Lycurgus delineated the powers of the two traditional organs of the Spartan government, the gerousia and the apella.[20]

The reforms of Lycurgus were written as a list of rules/laws called Great Rhetra; making it the world's first written constitution.[21] In the following centuries Sparta became a military superpower, and its system of rule was admired throughout the Greek world for its political stability.[19] In particular, the concept of equality played an important role in Spartan society. The Spartans referred to themselves as όμοιοι (Homoioi, men of equal status). It was also reflected in the Spartan public educational system, agoge, where all citizens irrespective of wealth or status had the same education.[17] This was admired almost universally by contemporaries, from historians such as Herodotus and Xenophon to philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle. In addition, the Spartan women, unlike elsewhere, enjoyed "every kind of luxury and intemperance" including elementary rights such as the right to inheritance, property ownership and public education.[18] Overall the Spartans were remarkably free to criticize their kings and they were able to depose and exile them. However, despite these democratic elements in the Spartan constitution, there are two cardinal criticisms, classifying Sparta as an oligarchy. First, individual freedom was restricted, since as Plutarch writes "no man was allowed to live as he wished", but as in a "military camp" all were engaged in the public service of their polis. And second, the gerousia effectively maintained the biggest share of power of the various governmental bodies.[21]

The political stability of Sparta also meant that no significant changes in the constitution were made. The oligarchic elements of Sparta became even stronger, especially after the influx of gold and silver from the victories in the Persian Wars.[21] In addition, Athens, after the Persian Wars, was becoming the hegemonic power in the Greek world and disagreements between Sparta and Athens over supremacy emerged. These lead to a series of armed conflicts known as the Peloponnesian War, with Sparta prevailing in the end. However, the war exhausted both poleis and Sparta was in turn humbled by Thebes at the Battle of Leuctra in 371 BC. It was all brought to an end a few years later, when Philip II of Macedon crushed what remained of the power of the factional city states to his South.''


For the time, Sparta was nowhere near the most 'evil' in the world

[slipthejab]

Cool. But does nobody else find this 'spartan workout' stuff irritating? Particularly as the spartans were some of the most thoroughly evil gits in the ancient world. Might as well have a 'hitler workout'. I'm not saying the workout principles are wrong, I just find the packaging annoying.

I'm not entirely getting how you figure they were the 'most thoroughly evil gits of the ancient world'.... certainly comparing them to Hitler is blatantly ridiculous on many levels.

The packaging doesn't annoy me half as much as all the other H&F crap out there. The list that I pointed to is a rather tongue and cheek take on it anyhow in case that escaped anyone.

In an age where there is a new ridiculous gadget a minute that you must buy for 5 easy installments of $39.95 I think the very concept of Spartan workouts is great.

[GaryT85]

Might as well have a 'hitler workout'.

i hear goose-stepping is a great workout

[Ular Sawa]

I enjoyed the hell out of the list myself. Came in handy when I mentally debated the merits of getting out of bed at 4:00 am to workout this morning.

[Knight_Errant]

cough cough a little history
Have you read plutarch's lives and thucydides' the pelopenesian war? If not, then don't presume to tell me anything about Greek history.

[Fusen]

Well your using value judgments like evil out of historical context, (besides evil is a religious construct and we all know there is no god.)

The state of Sparta was run on slavery, as was the rest of greece, and indeed much of europe, so evil? Not really for the time, just successfull.

''Besides the original statment was entitled: Spartan Workout Rules: A Canadian Soldier in Afghanistan ''

As in a spartan workout, The adjective not the noun, - one that is strict and austere.

ps

Quick aside - forums are where most people have to presume, because posting your entire educational background on every single post is not practical.

[Knight_Errant]

It's not the slavery I object to so much as the overt nastiness. Every year, for example, a war was declared on the helots (slaves) in which young nobles would attempt to kill as many helots as possible.
Quick aside- perhaps you shouldn't presume where you have no grounds to ;)

[Nutjob]

Cool. But does nobody else find this 'spartan workout' stuff irritating?

no, what i do find irritating is whingers turning a bit of fun into an argument...nice find Slip.

[Knight_Errant]

<Personal attack removed>

[Fusen]

no, what i do find irritating is whingers turning a bit of fun into an argument...nice find Slip.

Sorry for the detour, Nice find Indeed! cheers Slip!

[Fusen]

It's not the slavery I object to so much as the overt nastiness. Every year, for example, a war was declared on the helots (slaves) in which young nobles would attempt to kill as many helots as possible.
Quick aside- perhaps you shouldn't presume where you have no grounds to ;)

Nastiness? Downright necessity to keep to the far more numerous slave population in check.

Oh and it wasn’t the nobles, it was every male full citizen of society who were in the Agoge at the time.

Remember


‘’ In particular, the concept of equality played an important role in Spartan society. The Spartans referred to themselves as όμοιοι (Homoioi, men of equal status). It was also reflected in the Spartan public educational system, agoge, where all citizens irrespective of wealth or status had the same education,’’

And in particular it was all geared around developing the three spartan virtues:


‘’ equality (among citizens), military fitness and austerity.’’


None of which are helped by arguing over the internet.

<Personal attack removed>

[CKava]

I don't know enough about the Spartans to know who is right on the issue but I know a ridiculous and fairly reprehensible justification when I see one and suggesting that they needed to kill slaves every year in order to keep the slave population in check would be one. I hope it was meant tongue in cheek but even then it's only the length of time that makes such comments less distasteful than suggesting for instance that the Sri Lankan military was just keeping the Tamil population in check with it's latest military actions.

KE may have took the topic a bit too seriously but I'd say the topics been really dragged down by your last post kusa.

[adouglasmhor]

i hear goose-stepping is a great workout
For the lower body, mix in some putsch ups for uppers to complete it.

[Fusen]

I don't know enough about the Spartans to know who is right on the issue but I know a ridiculous and fairly reprehensible justification when I see one and suggesting that they needed to kill slaves every year in order to keep the slave population in check would be one. I hope it was meant tongue in cheek but even then it's only the length of time that makes such comments less distasteful than suggesting for instance that the Sri Lankan military was just keeping the Tamil population in check with it's latest military actions.

KE may have took the topic a bit too seriously but I'd say the topics been really dragged down by your last post kusa.

quick background - the spartan citizen made up only around 3.3 and 10 percent of the population, the rest was of the serf/slave class of helots. every autumn the was a ritual declaration of war (to take away the risk of blood feuds) and of those menthat were 18 (at the end of the compulsary education) a percentage of them (not all) , had to go unarmed into the countryside and take whatever food they needed to survive, with an expectation that they may need to kill a slave to remain undetected, However if they were caught then they would be punished

There is still discussion about what this ritual was for, but it seems it was not outright war against the slaves, possibly more as a way of training young men to be self sufficent and develop the ability to kill when needed.

And because of the different background, it cannot be judged by the standards of our time.

If you compare any countries history with slavery / serfdom etc there are far more henious everyday examples of life being held cheaply.

[Knight_Errant]

For the lower body, mix in some putsch ups for uppers to complete it.
It's definetly a thing now. Let's pretend it's the official SS workout as well :)

I don't actually care all that much about the rights and wrongs of ancient sparta- I think the idea that you can't judge an ancient civilisation by the standards of our time is a crock invented by people who want to compare themselves to an ancient civilisation for dubious reasons, but that's besides the point. The point is that so many prebubescent boys go around quite, quite seriously calling themselves 'Spartans' for the purposes of making out that they're working out ever so hard. The same kids would be shocked at the notion of calling themselves a bunch of homosexuals, which is what the spartans in fact were. No, really. Besides which, it's silly! so very very silly!

[slipthejab]

It's definetly a thing now. Let's pretend it's the official SS workout as well :)

Why do you have this fascination with Hitler and the SS?

I don't actually care all that much about the rights and wrongs of ancient sparta- I think the idea that you can't judge an ancient civilisation by the standards of our time is a crock invented by people who want to compare themselves to an ancient civilisation for dubious reasons, but that's besides the point.

It's totally besides the point because your pet theory is absurd.


The point is that so many prebubescent boys go around quite, quite seriously calling themselves 'Spartans' for the purposes of making out that they're working out ever so hard.

hahahaha - and you're doing exactly what hanging out with so many prepubescent boys?! :p



The same kids would be shocked at the notion of calling themselves a bunch of homosexuals, which is what the spartans in fact were. No, really. Besides which, it's silly! so very very silly!

Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Because homosexuality is bad bad bad. And it doesn't exist in any way shape or form in our modern armed forces or in our society.

Way to overthink what is a simple motivational list written in a very tongue-in-cheek manner.:rolleyes:

[Knight_Errant]

oh god, what did I do? sorry guys. In my defence, I was very short of sleep at the time...

[slipthejab]

oh god, what did I do? sorry guys. In my defence, I was very short of sleep at the time...

ROTFLMAO!! Sleep is vital bro... vital. :p

[Custom Volusia]

HA HA...fighting on the internet???


List was fun to read. I liked the movie as well.