Best CHat Up Lines!

[pgm316]

Your best pick-up lines please....!

Title says it all. Be them cheezie or genuine lets 'ave them.


A few to start:

my love for you is like diaria....i cant hold it back

your dad must be a retard...cuz your special

you may not be the prettiest girl here but beauty is only a light switch/beer away

I don't like you! You’re just next.......


I need ome better ones, these aint workin to well
:love:

[wayofthedragon]

.Hi, your name must be hole; cause i'm falling deep in love with u

.can u tell me how to get to the store from here; I'm lost in your beauty


.hmmmm...ok, that's all I can think of now. Those may be corney, but depending on the circumstance, they may work:) I'll be back with some more later

[Dragon_Princess]

This may be old, but it still puts a smile on my face when a guy says "Hey Dreka, your feet must be tired, cause you've been running through my mind all day."

*BLusheS

[Saz]

Get yer coat, you've pulled!

[wayofthedragon]

guy says: I think there's something in my eyes...

girl says: What is it honey....

guy says: Oh, they're just tears of joy, because I'm with the you, the girl that I love

girl: Can't hold back her blushing:love:

[Freeform]

Fancy a shag?

[Spike]

Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven?

Faliing that you can`t beat a strokey shirt.

[wayofthedragon]

Guy says: It's hot in here

Girl says: Do you want me to turn on the air

Guy says: That won't do, I am hot for your love, and only your love can quench my fire.

[Spike]

Congratulations WOTD, that`s the single worst chat up line I`ve heard in my life. You put most of my efforts to shame

[wayofthedragon]

To spike: Thanx:D I think:confused: Was that a compliment:confused: hmmm. if not then:woo:

To Dragon_Princess: Are your feet tired honey. They should be, cause you've been running through my mind all day:love:

[Dragon_Princess]

*blushes...forreal?

[wayofthedragon]

:love:

[LilBunnyRabbit]

Hmm. Can just imagine some of those with MA variations.

'I do martial arts, so I won't hit on you because I'd kill you, but can we go out anyway?'

One which I actually heard: 'Sir, if I ask you out will you give me pressups?' Naturally she did get pressups, fifty of them, but hey, its four months and they're still going strong.

'How about I teach you how to fend off unwelcome advances?'

[Greyghost]

"darling..your eyes are like spanners...well... they tighten my nuts.."

"is that a mirror in your knickers...cause i can see my face in there later"

"life without you is like a broken pencil.........pointless"

"i may not be tall, or dark or handsome, but i'm the only one talking to you"

"brace yourself!!!!"

[darlph]

Some of the things you guys come up wit :) I don't know where your minds are! But thankgoodness we have hunor here.

My favorite pickup line.......................? Guess I'm out of practice, better go read Melanies' marriage proposals again. :)l

[fluffydoc]

Here's 10p - phone your ma and tell her you've pulled.

[Dragon_Princess]

Heaven must be missing an angel cause you're right here with me! aaaaawwwwwwwwwww *blushes* thank you. lol.

[Dragon_Princess]

Heaven must be missing an angel, cause you are here with me.

[Spike]

You look a lot like my next girlfriend

[Dragon_Princess]

lol...spike...saying that 2 me would definitely make youlose me...so i wont be your one and last? lol. aawwww man.

[Markism]

"Pleased to meet you, I have meat to please you"

[Stewart]

Do you sleep on your stomach? No - can I?
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?
If you are what you eat, I could be you in the morning
I know milk does the body good, but damn how much have you drank?

[JohnnyX]

Mine's a rude one and will get edited by the Mods. But the second line is "Do you come from Wigan?" if that gives you a clue to the rhyming first line.

Cheers. :)

[Shortfuse]

your eyes are like..... im sorry i got lost in the moment


your eyes are like two acorns stuck to a frying pan (its been used, and it almost worked)

[FortuneFaded]

who needs chat up lines when you can just got some of the girls hair off and take it home and smell it?

XD;;

don't have any chatup lines, then again i'm 16 and don't exactly go around saying; "Do you beilive in love at first site, or should i walk by again?"

[Scarlet Mist]

How about this one:

Guy: Hey that blouse looks hot on you.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Do you know what else would look hot on you?
Girl: What?
Guy: Me

Or, at a barbeque:

Hey, I see you like the taste of Franks.
I do.
That's funny, I'm Frank. :D

[FortuneFaded]

Mine's a rude one and will get edited by the Mods. But the second line is "Do you come from Wigan?" if that gives you a clue to the rhyming first line.

Cheers. :)

i can't figure it out!!! do tell!

[Furikuchan]

No, no, no, Scarlet...better punch line.
"That blouse looks good on you. It would look better on my bedroom floor." :D

[Poop-Loops]

"I lost my phone number. Can we have sex?"

PL

[Tika]

Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven?


someone actually tried to use that one on me ....scary..

and

was your daddy a theif? because he stole the stars out of the heavens and put them in your eyes

[dragon_bunny]

is that a ladder in your stockings or a stairway to heaven (someone really said that to me :ekkk: )

and... i've forgot my phone number ..can i have yours? :D

[Mind Aflame]

Do girls not get tired of hearing these? Has a chatup line actually ever worked?

[bcullen]

The word of the day is legs, spread the word.

Do you have any <insert rare country of origion> in you? (no) Would you like some? (I'm Icelandic, Finnish and Irish, so I have some lattitude here ;) )

For the woman with obvious virtues: Those things look heavy, may I hold them for you? (Hey, just being polite, wouldn't want her to throw out her back, ya know. :p )

Let's get something straight between us.

If I told you that you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Well, why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up. :eek: :D

[Tika]

Do girls not get tired of hearing these?


Yes

Has a chatup line actually ever worked?

It depends on the delivery. Charm can go a long way :).

[Andy Murray]

Well..........

'Can I cook you dinner' has worked for me for 18 years!

At least I can cook! :( :p

[Tika]

'Can I cook you dinner' has worked for me for 18 years!


Thats the best one on this thread Andy!!!

[Andy Murray]

Thats the best one on this thread Andy!!!

Really?

How about..........

Male- "Did it hurt much?"

Female- "Huh?"

Male- "When you fell from the stars?"

Female- "Spew/faint/etc"

:D

[Tika]

Nope, that one sucks :)

[JohnnyX]

What do you want for breakfast? :D

[Andy Murray]

Nope, that one sucks :)

Tika, let's cut to the chase here!

What do you want out of us inferior males?

(Apart from a few months gratuitous nooky, all your bills payed, a house, someone to pay your bills, someone to insult and someone whose gravestone you can point at while talking to your daughter and say "there I told you they were all useless layabouts" ?)

;)

[Tika]

Tika, let's cut to the chase here!

What do you want out of us inferior males?

(Apart from a few months gratuitous nooky, all your bills payed, a house, someone to pay your bills, someone to insult and someone whose gravestone you can point at while talking to your daughter and say "there I told you they were all useless layabouts" ?)

;)

Goodness gracious Andy, who did this to you ?:)

Only the gratuitous nooky I can agree with (but a lot more than a few months).

[Andy Murray]

Only the gratuitous nooky I can agree with (but a lot more than a few months).

Then you're of the highly sought after variety of the species, rarely found by the balding and simmet wearing drivers of transit vans, whose hobbies include allotments and marrow fertilisation!

[pgm316]

Why do people always expect the men to use the chat up lines, women seem to be doing their fair share of the chatting up :love:

[YODA]

Best chat up line comeback...

Him: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Her: "Unfertilised"

LOL!

[Andy Murray]

Why do people always expect the men to use the chat up lines, women seem to be doing their fair share of the chatting up :love:


Aye, shallow creatures that they are!

Man- " Hi (makes vocular poetry)"

Woman- " you'll do (calculates value by litigation, does bare minimum of interaction and proceeds straight to cleaners)!"

Man- "What happened? (lives remainder of life as miserable pauper)"

[Tika]

Why do people always expect the men to use the chat up lines, women seem to be doing their fair share of the chatting up :love:

I don't know many women who have tried actual lines:), but do know men who have..... hmmm... I see this thread toeing the line with the potential to go wayyy off track, and me wanting to push it that way, so I better go!! .....later!!!

*runs away*

[spacepimp]

Lets change the alphabet and put U & I together...

Did you hear about newtons laws where bodies are atrracted to each other?

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?

Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

Hi. You'll do.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.

And for the undying geek in me here are the top ten geek pick up lines

10) Once you make love to a man with Vulcan ears on you never go back.

9) "Urkuk lu Stalga." That's Klingon for "I love you baby."

8) Why don't you come over to my house so we can watch a little Sailor Moon to get in the mood?

7) You ever been with a webmaster before? It's like nothing you've ever experienced.

6) I've been told I have the cool sexual prowess of a Romulan.

5) I live with my mom, but she doesn't care when my other friends come over to play naked Super Saiyan. Lights out by 9, and we must be asleep by 9:30.

4) When I heard you came to town I threw my happy sock away...don't make me buy another sock.

3) You, me, here...this couldn't be better if I programmed the holodeck myself.

2) You look just like Lois Lane in that skirt and I'm wearing my Superman underoos...it's either fate or the menacing hand of Lex Luthor at work.

1) Why don't we head to my bedroom, peel back my Star Wars sheets, and discover what a true Jedi can do with his light sabre?

[Maximicus]

You wan't dinner at my place, or shall I eat out? :love:

[Maximicus]

"I lost my phone number. Can we have sex?"

PL

CLASSIC!

[spacepimp]

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

[Maximicus]

Too long.

You. Me. Bed. Now.

[JohnnyX]

The old classic:

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

:)

[Markism]

Lol, i found this thread on the very last page of jokes, and posted mine
"pleased to meet you, i've got meat to please you"

This kind of a thread its interesting because i'm sure everyone has used, been used on or been told about various pick up lines. Here is another from me

"Women have 256 bones in their body....want another one?"

[JohnnyX]

That's like:

Him: Have you got any Lancashire in you?

Her: No.

Him: Would you like some?

:D

[sean]

Add a french accent to whatever you say :p

[FortuneFaded]

Let's get something straight between us.



Now, thats comedy!!! do standup!!!!!

[FortuneFaded]

The old classic:

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

:)

Ok. i translated this using babelfish, then thought what the hey, i'll turn the english equivlent into japanese:

今晩私と眠りたいと思うか。

...can someone help me with my pronunciations?

[Shortfuse]

Lol

[Shortfuse]

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.


my friend used that two weeks ago :D :D :D

[dragon_bunny]

umm strange come back

him: so you wanna come back to my place?
her: why, is there room for two under the rcok you crawled out from?

:)

[Markism]

"Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you"

Guy to two girls "I don't want to come between you..or do i;)?"

[wcrevdonner]

Heres some I made earlier...

'Thats a nice blouse - it'd look great on my bedroom floor.'

'My name might not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed rock.'

'Is your name Gilette? Cause you're the best a man can get...'

Anyone for (Adopting Joey from Friends accent) 'Hey, How you doing?'

My 'friend of mine' has used, 'Would you like to taste my persian shami kebab?'

[sean]

Heres some I made earlier...

'Thats a nice blouse - it'd look great on my bedroom floor.'

'My name might not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed rock.'

'Is your name Gilette? Cause you're the best a man can get...'

Anyone for (Adopting Joey from Friends accent) 'Hey, How you doing?'

My 'friend of mine' has used, 'Would you like to taste my persian shami kebab?'

lol they have to be the worst 'chat up' lines posted :p

[Picksey]

Best one I've had recently was after we'd exchanged numbers and were texting to arrange a meet. I suggested a local bar... his response was "Can't we just sit in my car and snog?" :D :D :D And who says chivalry never died?

[JohnnyX]

Hi,

Just a few days ago, this was voted "Britain's best chat-up line";

"Well here I am! What are your other two wishes?"

http://www.manchesteronline.co.uk/news/s/122/122126_britains_best_chatup_line.html

Obviously he's not a MAPer, otherwise it would have been better. :D

Cheers. :)

[Tika]

How bout ones that actually work? I need some help :D lol

[pgm316]

"Well here I am! What are your other two wishes?"

:D

[Teryan]

Heard this one along time ago:
"Let's play Peral Harbor, I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!"

"How aobut you sit on my lap and we can talk about what ever pops up."

MA variants:

Grapolers:
"How many times did he tap her?"

[wcrevdonner]

How about

'I see you baby, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin that ass...'

And its not about the content, its ALL about the delivery...which is why Im not a postman.

"Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you"

I like that...Going to have to try it out some time...

[JohnnyX]

Do you want to see my etchings? :D

[Colucci]

Not that I've ever used any :rolleyes: ...but:

"If your left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right leg was Christmas, do you think we could meet between the holidays?"

Of course, the all time classic (though it deserves an R-rating) is...

"Nice shoes, wanna ----?" :love:

[JohnnyX]

I spotted a bloke in the pub wearing a t-shirt with this on:

I'm going places.
Back to yours ......

:D