Saying bye to your dojang

[Jack]

How would you go about it? :)

I have decided after much thought to leave my Taekwondo dojang. The reasons for this is that it does not give me what I want from a martial art since it is a somewhat 'watered down' school that revolves around gradings and sparring, and not realistic self defence, or physical and mental improvement. I have decided to start up weightlifting and jogging since one of the main reasons I joined the Martial Arts in the first place was simply for exercise, which TKD gave me, but now I want so much more that my TKD dojang doesn't provide.

I want a traditional school of some kind, with fast, to the point, efficient moves, tough training, but no pressure from frequent gradings - I was thinking if I could find a good Wing Chun school around here, I may be interested to look into that. (in my Taekwondo school we were going for a new belt every 3 months and the instructor allowed the teaching to revolve around what will impress the instructors, not what really works)

I would also be interested in a style of Tai Chi, I happen to get stressed sometimes and felt that doing my Taekwondo forms slowly helped, but the moves are too 'blocky' for my liking (no offence to Taekwondo-ists, it's a personal dislike) and would like something more internal and relaxing to help me keep my mental sanity.

I'm just after any ideas here on how to say bye to my Taekwondo dojang? I've known them all for about 16 months and saying bye to them will feel extremely difficult. but I feel it is the right thing to do.

Thanks. :)

[pesilat]

I was faced with a similar situation in early '95. I was training in Goju-Ryu at the time. I enjoyed the Karate and it was good. But there were some scheduling problems with my work that prohibited me from attending class as regularly as I would have liked. Then I was introduced to Kali and Silat.

I was instantly taken with them ... especially the Silat. It was like finding a home I never even knew I was missing. I went to my Goju-Ryu instructor and explained the situation.

I explained that I had nothing but respect for him and for Goju-Ryu but I felt that the Kali and Silat really suited me better and, especially given the scheduling problems with his classes, I was going to give it a try. I could tell he was a little disappointed but he was also very understanding.

After training for a bit in the Kali and Silat, I *knew* that it was the path for me. I went back to my Goju-Ryu instructor and I explained my decision. He didn't understand it but he respected it. We parted on good terms and he gave me a standing invitation to return any time ... to visit, to take a class, or to come back into formal training. I have taken him up on that offer several times over the years when in the area.

He still doesn't really understand my decision ... but he's a good guy and he respects my decision. He's also proud of me and the role he played in my overall development.

So ... from my perspective, the advice I'd offer would be ... talk to your instructor. Explain the situation and your decision. Do it respectfully and, if your instructor is worth his salt, he'll respect your decision and you'll part on good terms and always be welcome in his dojang.

Mike

[Andy Murray]

Hi Jack.

Firstly, I'd just like to second what Mike has already said, and point out one other minor thing;

From an Instructors point of view, students come, and students go. It is always dissapointing when a student leaves, but it is downright frustrating if they don't have the guts to say why. You never know, perhaps the Instructor will address some of the issues you raise, in an attempt to make classes more enjoyable for others.

Your profile states you are from England. If you can be a little more specific, perhaps the forum members can look into suitable Wing Chun and Tai Chi Instructors in your area.

Best of luck.

Andy

[Artful Dodger]

Originally posted by Jack
How would you go about it? :)


I would also be interested in a style of Tai Chi, I happen to get stressed sometimes and felt that doing my Taekwondo forms slowly helped, but the moves are too blocky for my liking.

Sounds like you are way more suited to Wing Chun. Make sure you have a good look around at Wing Chun schools. Some have more emphasis on softness and some are harder. You sound like you could be after the softer form that relies heavily on soft feel. Its often not so much the school as the instructor.

Thanks. :)

[Melanie]

Hiya Jack,

I changed dojo earlier this year as I felt my training had gone as far as possible with my last club. I had developed an interest in more than just the movements (i.e. language, applications, etc) and my Sensei at the time was mostly into movements more than anything else. I had found a Sensei that had more than suited what I was looking for and finally managed to make the break after explaining very courteously and in private my reasons. Unfortunately, although we did part on reasonably good terms, it was made abundently clear I would not be welcome at my last dojo. It's such a shame, to watch my last Sensei is poetry in motion (even though he has no interest as to why he is doing the movements he's doing). As far as I can tell though, the move was beneficial for both of us though.

All I can say is that as long as you are honest with them they will always do their best to understand. We still talk in the street when we bump into each other. :)

[Jack]

Thank you for the replies. Do you think it would be wise to say something along the lines of...

I have had a great time studying here, and I have learnt a lot, but I feel that this art is not personally right for me and so I would like to look around for a style that is correct for me before commiting my lifestime to studying that art.

He would probably ask, "why not continue with Taekwondo while you look for another style?" and I wouldn't know what to say to this, lol. I know that I just don't want to continue with TKD as I look for another art, but how in the lare of captain Birdseye could I possibly say that?! Argh.

Any advice greatly welcomes. You've all been a great help so far. :)

[darlph]

Sorry to see you go, but we all have choices in life. Thankgoodness you thoughful and respectful enough to talk to you instructor and he was understanding enough. That's a hundred kudos for you :)
Recently, since the school year started up again, we tried to track down alot of students who "supposedly" went on vacation and never came back.... did we fail? I have no idea. All it takes is a phone call, and you don't have to look at anyone for that.
I hope you find what you"re looking for, and you maybe surprised at what you really learned for you"re everydy life.

p.s. you're always welcome here that's one good thing about martial artists, they always try to make and keep friends.

p.p.s in the meantime, still workout and try some seminars

[Freeform]

Tell them the truth point blank. If their worth their salt they'll accept it and wish you well.

Thanx

[Greyghost]

Did somebody mention Captain Birdseye?

Seriously though..if the current instructor is a professional, then he should care more about the student than what the student studies. No instructor is overjoyed when a student leaves their class, but he should be pleased you are at least keeping up your training..no matter which art it is.

Personally, i dont mind if the student leaves ( sure..i'm initially mildly pissed off!) but as long as they have a good reason for leaving then its ok....we had one student who had to stop training in Lau Gar for medical reasons, but was able to take up Akido in its place. He is now a black belt and i couldn't be prouder of him ,even if he had earned his black belt in our Art.

I understand that Lau Gar doesn't suit everyone....everyone one is free to make there own decisions and move in any direction they chose along there own Martial Art journey(and it IS a personal journey)...and if our paths should meet and we travel the same road for a time...then that suits me fine.


now...back to Captain Birdseye...mumble mumble mumble