OK...here's how it is...

[Melanie]

Its the beginning of a fresh week for me. I see at once that the weekend has meant another weekend of too much of everything - the take out packaging was every where, cups, glasses piled up on the kitchen sideboard. Can't take it right now. I wash my face and slip on some jogging bottoms and trainers and rescue my vest from the laundry basket. Its just after 7 am and the mist has lifted leaving a bright but hazy day just trying to scream out from the horizon.

I pick up the pace after a 100 yards or so, never seems to take as long to warm up these days. Training during the summer is always so much more exhausting, but what a rush! I get the usual 'hellos' bleary eyed commercial travellers scowl at me for doing something so unproductive at this time of the morning.

About 20 minutes into my jog now. The sweat broke out on me about 10 minutes ago, trails of dark lines accross my back and chest. I approach roads and jog on the spot, not wanting to lose pace. I had better start back soon to get showered and ready for work.

After a further 10 minuntes jogging I go back the way I came - doing my best to not look as knackered as I feel. Image is everything at this time of day. I get back into the house and down a pint of ice cold water in no time and peel off my gear and jump into the shower. As usual time has escaped me...

I start to dress and the clothes stick to me - my hair in every direction, but no problem, clients never see me. I trip over Nemesis (appropriate name) on the way out of the door, she arches her narrow back and hisses and spits and gives me the most disgusted look she can before I step out the door. (Flipping cats).

It seems every Monday I arrive to work in disarray and never remember the journey. I must make an effort to stop doing that in future, it can't be good for me.

I left all my gear in the car, dragging it through the office would get me the usual giggles and snide remarks - so I parked the car round the back of the office so I could see it from my desk. At least I can shout nasty things to some one from here, if/when they break into my car.

In no time at all, it's lunchtme and I notice all my doddles on the note pad (whilst talking to clients) are triangles...sheesh...training in my head!

Lunch was its usual sad and monotonous affair, a tuna and cheese bagel, toasted. I lurk around the car park, daring anyone to attack my car and go back into work after lunch, more than a little disappointed.

The afternoon wizzed by thankfully and I only gotten bitten twice today by midges! I seem to find my second wind every day about 4:30pm and time starts to drag about the same time.

5:00pm came and went and I went with it to the car. My bright red Rover exuded heat from 10 feet away and I opened the door hesitantly. Only to be hit by at least 100 degrees heat leaving the tiny expanse that is known as the interior of my car. I insert the keys whilst standing outside and start the battery. All electric windows opened and sun roof and the 'blowers' up to 4 to relieve some of the heat. Almost as soon as I step in and close the door, my clothes stick to me. I gun the engine and drive off at speed...might keep me cooler?

Today I am training. I am going straight from work to class. I may have had my hair pointing north all day, I may actually be even sweatier than I was this morning, but who cares. I pay some mad Irishman to put me through hell for two to three hours, three times a week and love it. Oh I know..in the past its resulted in black eyes, bruised bones and deep threatening silences from class mates. I may not always be able to understand his accent, but I sure understand what he's teaching.

Many people live to work, others work to live, how many out there live to train? How many out there would like to? What is so wonderful about some maturing narcissitic BB that is always polite yet more demanding then most 5 year olds? I have asked myself these questions time and time again over the past few months and I'm still waiting for enlightenment. Maybe when i get some I'll stop going, until then however, I'll continue...

just thought I'd have a bash at a mini book and guess what its about :D

If its rubbish, I won't do any more - if pesilat says he likes it...I'll continue :D (I'm much better at poetry anyway)

[morphus]

Time of the month, it sounds like!

[morphus]

LOL Just joshin!

Great read, very discriptive; i want to write too, but i'm not to clever at putting words on paper, lots of ideas though!

Please write some more - i think its good!

[Melanie]

What can I say morphus :D

Lets be really pleased this isn't my time of the month...or I might ban your ass!

:D

Thank you morphus (I think) :)

I shall continue before the end of the week.

[stump]

<<<Lets be really pleased this isn't my time of the month...or I might ban your ass!>>>

Yeah...time of the month is when the automatic weapons come out!!!!!!


uh-oh

[Melanie]

Grrrrrrrrrr

[Greyghost]

look out guys...shes armed to the teeth....and foaming at the mouth....

:D :woo: :D

[Melanie]

does anyone wanna tell me if me story is any good?

I appreciate all the attention an' all, but we are talking about summink reasonably personal here!

Hahahaha

[morphus]

Joking aside, it really is good !

[morphus]

How long did it take you to write that, did you edit at all, cos that would have taken me ages/hours-days with a lot of editing/rewrites!

[Melanie]

I wrote it in the 10 minutes I had before lunch - made it up as I went along...thank you.

[NielStewart]

Well Melanie....

Do you like it? don't write for other people - write for yourself, you'll never be able to write something that everyone likes or that gains universal approval.

for what it's worth - I think it's great - easy to read and become quite absorbed in wondering where it's going - nice stlye and imagery - I for one would be interested to read more...

[Melanie]

Cheers Niel

I think its alright...but I'm better at poetry I reckon. I get to win things with that :D

OK, ok, ok! I'll do some more tonight...lets just hope I can pick up more from where I left off ...

Still haven't heard from pesilat though :(

[pesilat]

LOL ... patience, Mel :) I was traveling yesterday and away from the computer pretty much all day long. Got in late last night, checked my e-mail, and went to bed.

I've only just woken up and had a chance to read it :)

It's good. I think only martial artists would really get the gist of what you're talking about ... but that's obviously your target audience here :)

Mike

[Melanie]

The death defying journey takes me through hills, a rail crossing and a couple of lochs and glenns! The engine screams with tension as I go round a bend at 45 mph in second gear and I right the rear end as I skid round it. To this day I still wonder why people ask me why I do martial arts? Its relaxing, a way to take the anger out and relieve pressure.

I finally arrive in a blur of dust and burning tyres and pull the hand brake up. A couple of the class have already arrived and are sitting innocently in front of the dojo. I pull my enormous bag out the back of the car and pick up all the punch/kick bags and mitts I possess and walk with difficulty to the front of the dojo - leaving my car dinging away and the fan screaming.

Tonight apparently we are going through a few kata and basics and ending the evening with about an hours sparring. I can tell by James' face that he is NOT looking forward to it. At 19 years of age, about 6ft and of slight build I can't really understand why. He can place his hand on someones head and they couldn't get any closer to him, apparently the knock to his chin did more than shake his head a few months ago. Pity, because he was doing pretty well.

I look at Alice now. She's grinning broadly at me - flicking her blond cropped hair out of the way and pulling herself up. She gives me a hand taking the stuff inside and we decide to change and wait for the others.

Shortly after changing, Sensei shows up Seamus McFlurry is his name. Ever since the McDonalds drink he's been getting a lot of stick but he's been pretty good about it really and only thrown out one member out so far.

He mutters to warm up (I think) and we do, waiting for the rest of the class to show. As I warm up I think of the events that are coming up over the next couple of hours. Kata I enjoy, basics I do not, but it does depend on how we do the basics I feel though. Marching up and down and getting the standard count can be a bit boring. Sensei changes it a little by doing a very, very, very slow count and then moving it up and down a gear. He makes us very competitive in this and over the last few weeks its been a case of the "last man standing" and who it will be. I have enjoyed this so far....I've managed it twice, thrid time lucky I hope.

Then it will be sparring. I hate sparring. I am so crap its untrue. I have plenty of violence and aggression, just not the speed, distance or timing, most frustrating!! But I have noticed a tiny bit of improvement - especially since my boss had a go at me last week. I can just picture his face...makes it so much easier!

Another 10 minutes and the room starts to fill...not long now before class starts.

(and in real life too...sorry...I'm off!)

[YODA]

Nice writing style Mel - interesting & entertaining without the all too familiar overuse of metaphor we see these days.

A nice balance of content & embelishment.

[Melanie]

We start with a general warm up and stretching. I remember when I first started how this pretty much ended the evening for me. It sounds so simple, just do 10 of everything. I had no idea my muscles had wasted away so much from my days at school. All my strength is really in my upper body (I used to think - years of javelin and shotput at school). Hahaha...I remember it so clearly. I was obviously wearing 'civvies' for my first lesson. I remember grinning sheepishly as all this bowing and 'oossing' was going on. A few foreign words and every one would be swinging theirs arms to count and hopping around. I found muscles that night that I didn't even know existed. I have since had the distinct pleasure of seeing this happen to another couple of people who started after me and that made me feel a little better. For a start they were younger and had even more of a job than I did! Anyway...I digress...

Wait a minute...the warm ups nearly over? Funny how you can go on auto pilot to do a warm up?

Oh yippee! Basics! (groan). We line up in order of rank, I am normally paralysed at the front...being only a lowly 7th Kyu I still feel I get centre stage to my terrible basics!. Apparently this is a good place to be? I just suffer severe stage fright personally. A few words and an irish jig from Sensei and we start doing punches, single and double from a horse stance. Eek! I knew it...my hips have ceased again....and he's noticed...right...back straight, head up, feet pointing forwards, knees above feet - just so as you can see your toes (but don't look), arms shoulder height, punch towards your middle, bring back the hand that's not punching tight to your hip, remember to twist and tense at the last moment and jiggle your hips...(no wonder we find this hard to learn eh?) - out of 10 I manage to pull off 2 good ones in my opinion. Great...one of those nights!

We go through further basics, Sensei leaving us in odd and weird positions, perspiration (heck - SWEAT) poring off us as he adjusts and punches the blackbelts in the stomach and swipes a few lower belts legs...we don't move though...a certain amount of pride is lost if you move. Thighs screaming, great, now a nerve has started to twitch in my calf. I can't help it. I am now gritting my teeth, thinking of all the horrible things I want to do to my Sensei one day (Hey, its free to dream). Another minute and he releases us from our 'uncomfortable' positions and tells us to breath and get a drink if needed. I notice that James is looking unusally happy with himself. Got to mean only one thing, he didn't move OR grit his teeth. Darn that youngster! I look at Sensei as he barks out to fall back in line, he's looking mean tonight. That means basics till the 'last man standing' again. I cheer up. :)

He puts us into belt groups and gives each group a selection of basics/combinations to do. We do them all separately so we get chance to breathe in between and he can watch us and make corrections where necessary. I look at Alice, she's in the same group as me. Her hair is flattened about her face from the workout, her face flushed and she looks as knackered as I feel. I know she's not going to last :D. Eventually I was the 'last person standing' in our group and for my trouble I get to do a kata in front of my group...(stage fright).

I hear the name of the kata, I repeat it without squeaking (good start) and wait a beat...and another beat...then remember what I am supposed to do. My arms are tense and I am going too fast...I breathe! Slow down a little and get into my next movement. I start to relax more and more through the kata and time seems to go on forever. A bright flash in the corner of my eye...that means Alice is smiling...can't be too bad then? I finish. Bow and all of a sudden get the desparate urge to take in air rapidly. I had only just realised I breathed once during the whole kata :( I look around me, no one is laughing, I look at the Sensei and I can almost see a four leafed clover in his minds eye. He never smiles, but when he praises - its normally audible:

"Well now! That wasn't bad at all, at all, at all!"

I am now a massive, sweaty grin....onto sparring next!

[morphus]

Keep it going mel !!!!Well done.

[Melanie]

Cheers morphus ;)

First of all we got into protective gear. Most of it is optional for most of us, but beginners are "suggested" to put on as much as possible (and quite frankly anyone who is going to end up sparring them!)

I put on mitts and shin guards. I seem to be the only one who ever gets kicked in the shin, so I learnt very early the value of these.

I remember when I first started doing sparring. I felt like such a 'girl'. I have been in confrontations before, but nothing that resulted in a fight before. I always seemed to sweet talk my way out of trouble. Probably why I ended up in Sales for a career? Anyway, we lined up with people from our own belt first of all and did a gentle warm up in pairs, just doing two man drills. Then Sensei pairs us up with normally higher belts and trys to keep to size and weight where possible. I love the way he does it too. He kind of points at you and nods at who you're supposed to be with. I think he has finally realised that no one really understands his accent. I was put with on this occassion, a foreign exchange student from Hungary called Yan. He's over here for a year studying something? Although he also has a very broad accent - he is an excellent technician even for a 5th Kyu. He's sharp, fast and seems to pick up each technique really quickly. However, he is a pretty wiry chap, hence why I was put with him. We always go fairly light at the beginning of a sparring session. As we spar, Sensei goes round the room looking at as much as possible and leaving it to us to keep control. Every now and then when he sees a particularly good 'match' he will stop and watch for a while and make suggestions and then move on to the next team. Thankfully Sensei was on the other side of the room when Yan got through my guard and gently tapped me on the face! I mentally regrouped and started bouncing around with a renewed enthusiasm and saw a moment to get a roundhouse punch in to his cheek and missed it by a yard at least. (Damn). One thing I had noticed about Yan is he has a very high guard most times and decided to go for some stomach punches just as Sensei rounded to our 'fight'. (Stage Fright!). Whilst I thought he was looking the other way, I faked to the head with my right (I'm right handed) and punched low and made contact with his stomach! Sensei saw it (thankfully) and parted us to start us off again. He muttered something like "....forget...kick....it ...be a low". After months of this you get the gist! He was reminding both of us to kick and we are allowed to kick low.

I quickly glanced at Yan and looked down to his legs. He knew I meant did he have shin guards on and nodded his acknowledgement. I know its weird but just knowing he had them on made me feel more confident immediately. We started moving round our little 'area' stepping in and stepping out, watching each others eyes, shoulders for a lead into the next strike/block and Yan finally came forward with a left hook. I blocked and jumped back and punched hard with my right into his left arm (He's left handed :D) and followed quickly with a inside kick to the shin. He jumped back and dodged it, rubbing his left arm afterwards. I gave him time to collect himself and we started again. I stepped forwards with as short as possible a reverse punch and he did the same. We both saw it coming and each punch glanced off the other as we turned our bodies away from it. He jumped right back in again with a mawashi (round house kick) to my left thigh and made good contact (grrrr) and stepped back from me. (Ow that hurt and I felt a little angry with myself for being so complacent and not moving). I took a quick few deep breaths (as Sensei once said anger really doesn't help a sparring session unless you can harness it) and brought my hands up into guard again. Bouncing around again, doing my best not to feel the bruise developing on my thigh, I step forward and do 1 fake to the head and 2 fast, short punches to the chest and make contact with his ribcage once, he steps forward (which through me completely) and makes contact with my left side ribs after sliding under my arm and we are almost clinching when we both move back out of range again. He glances to his left and I anticipate (foolishly) a punch to my left side and he gets me in the right arm. I sheepishly smile at him. Each time we spar he gets me with something like that and I fall for it every time. We both look to Sensei and he is standing there shaking his head with a bemused smile...I think 'Ooops, I never learn!' and he barks out a few minutes break and a chance for a drink if required. Yan and I part after a bow and I collapse in a heap with my water bottle.

Looking around the hall I see the carnage that once was a very bright perky bunch, now reduced to a dishevelled, sweaty bunch of people. Saying this though, they all seem to be wearing tired, yet happy looks. James comes over to me. He doesn't seem too unhappy but a telltale mark on his eyebrow means he's dropped his guard at least once. I start to get up and feel the tension in my thigh where I was punched earlier. I seem to bruise so easily there for some reason? Another few sips and Sensei calls the class back into centre of the hall. He's got Adrian and Mark with him. Adrian is about 6 foot tall and of medium build (we call him Crazy Legs Crane :) ) and Mark is a few inches shorter, but a bit bulkier/compact than Adrian (we call him Hulk :) ). They are both black belts and are going to demonstrate a few techniques for us. They do it cripplingly slow at first, then move up a couple of gears as Sensei 'explains' what they are doing and eventually they end up doing the techniques 'properly'. A blur of clothing and legs and they both step back. I hope I get to be that fast and good one day!

This time I am put with some one else, a female beginner. She's Welsh. (I don't know what it is about this place? Everyone has an accent here?). There is nothing more dangerous than a beginner...sheesh...this is gonna be fun!

[Rowlie]

'Nothing more dangerous than a beginner'? You must carry on with your tale to elaborate!

Good idea this. MA and humour do belong together!

[morphus]

Now, now Mel. We in the 'LAND OF MY FATHERS' don't have an accent, i've been talking to myself for hours and i don't detect a hint of an accent, but the sheep, now thats another matter you can't understand a word they're on about, they are the best looking sheep though............................................ .................................................. i think i'm straying off the subject ,sorry go on - you were saying?

[Saz]

Sheeeeeeeep! ;)

[Melanie]

Ok...I'll rephrase that...there's nothing more dangerous than a Welsh beginner...

:D

[Saz]

Mel.... what you trying to say about us Welsh? :p

[morphus]

She's trying to say we're a bit sheepish when it comes to martial arts.............. I bet she'd love us if she met us really, we'll put you up for dinner - LAMB ok????

Wheres part ...5 is it?

[Melanie]

With you, morphus and Kyokushin_girl as ambassadors for your countrymen (and women) on this forum, I cannot honestly say where I got this rather enchanting, yet slightly bizarre idea of what the Welsh were like...(???)

As I looked over to her I could see she had already been through the mill a little. Her long blond hair was falling out of the tie back she wore and beads of perspiration where falling off her face. (I had this awful moment whilst looking at her - that I probably looked fit to drop myself not that long ago...a brief moment...thankfully). The energy generated from me earlier in the evening when I didn't fluff up the kata, was beginning to wear off a bit on me anyway, so I was looking forward to an enjoyable sparring session, that wasn't so much about technique but more about me defending myself! I suppose I had better explain this a bit...

The wonderful thing about beginners is they have the most enthusiasm in the hall. They are normally quite easy to het up into a physical frenzy (just by warming up!) and tend to grin a lot as they don't understand whats being said or done. They also tend to expend their energy far faster than the others and just live off what vision they have and adrenaline...(dangerous combination when sparring!). Anywho...

I quickly asked her if she was wearing shin guards and she nodded (whilst grinning) and we got started. Sensei was over the other side of the hall, so she looked less tense almost immediately when she realised where he was. I smiled at her breifly and started bouncing around her. She found the energy some where and started bouncing around too. Almost immediately she stepped forward and punched towards the head, turning way too much and exposing her side I slipped away from the blow and slapped her side (gently), letting her know the mistake. She backed away and got her hands up. I moved forward and forced her back onto her back leg (left) by faking high and to the left and went to sweep her with my right foot as she was distracted and stopped upon contact with her ankle. (As she is still learning - as am I! - how to fall, I didn't knock her over). We both stepped back and regrouped. This time she came in almost immediately again and came forward (or rather- surging forward) with a double punch to the chest, both of which I blocked and she lowered her left fist and went for the kidneys and missed and hit me hard in the ribcage...(ow). I grimaced and managed to squeeze out between my teeth a 'well done' and decided I would be watching her left a bit more from now on. I was trying to watch her eyes, shoulders, anything to give me a clue of direction, tragically, as she wasn't terribly sure herself...it made things interesting. I managed to get another sweep and another couple of 'light' blows to her arms and she started to tire a bit more, dropping her guard more and more each time we stepped in together. To be a bit more sporting (lets face it, she was using all the 'Spirit' she could muster) I reminded her more than once about raising her guard and she valiently continued. I got to hand it to the girl, she really did rally and the contacts she did make to me, well they were a little misdirected, from soft to hard and she seemed to pick on my right arm more than anything else :( but she did continue fighting until Sensei shouted "starp" (For the uninitiated that means Stop) :)

We both bowed and Oos'd incomprehensibly and I managed to not hold my arm until she was out of sight at least. The end of the lesson was approaching. We started to put the mats, mitts and sparring gear/protection away and finally we were ordered to line up.

We all tidied our clothing up and went into seiza (sitting on your heels) and collected our thoughts and tried to make sense of this evenings class. I really do enjoy this, I tend to focus on the most complicated things or any mistake I made during the evening and promise myself to practise on it over the next few days before the next class. Its a way of reflecting and looking inward without talking to yourself, a life saver...

We stood up at the command and bowed and finally the class was over. I looked at myself and was thankful for washing machines...and showers/baths and anything else that would make me look relatively human again.

I remembered James and ventured over into his direction. The mark above his head hadn't opened, so I figured he kept his guard up through the last bout of sparring and the 'beginner' (never remember her name!) was looking flushed and tired talking to him. I got another glare in the corner of my eye and realised Alice had come over to me. She just wanted to know how my thigh was, she had seen that happen. Nice girl Alice, I explained I could walk...it was me arm that hurt! I quickly changed and got out into the fresh air. Seamus (Sensei) was already outside, he kind of grimaced at me for a moment (which I took for a smile) and started to talking to the others as they started to stream out through the door.

So that was that, another 3 hours of gruelling hard work, getting us hot, sweaty, frustrated, bruised, etc. I paid Seamus and said I'd see him Thursday, same time, same place...

Makes no sense...but we go back time and again, seeing these instructors, being put through our paces physically, taxing them with questions and practising it time and again and again. We get sore, bruised, blistered feet, rub marks from our clothing as we fall, bangs on the head, neck, shoulders, hips and every other extremity as we learn to fall and we continue going! We even pay them for this lunacy! Why? Because you become a familly, you work together to make each other better, you cheer on the slow ones and praise the good ones and hope you'll fall some where in the middle (?). You set yourself a challenge every lesson, you test and tax yourself to your very limits and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but you get into it with a passion you never knew before.

Anyway...I'm gonna sign off...I'm knackered and in desparate need of a shower...

Can't wait for the next lesson :D

[fluffydoc]

Hi Melanie, hope you've recovered now. Am enjoying the story - are you carrying on?

[morphus]

Please do keep going!:D :D :D :D :D :D
I have a question if thats ok - how many members of this forum have you met and has there been a meet before or indeed is there going to be one?
Well thats sort of more than a question, its a sort of multi ...........thingy'd question which requires more than one answer or a multi thingy'd answer..........i'm tired and i'm rambling on in the language of gibberish,,,,,,,,,,,, shut up morphus .........ok

[darlph]

Mel, I hope you're saving all this for your memoirs. It's really enjoyable reading. Thanks .

[Melanie]

Ah...well...I did actually finish my story and as there was no more responses I thought it might disappear into the threads of time eventually :D

However...I can/shall continue if you want me too...I'll now wait until I have got another couple of my own classes under my belt to give me some fresh inspiration and probably start again mid week sometime.

Cheers all...as long as you're enjoying it still...I'll continue :)

[Melanie]

Originally posted by morphus
Please do keep going!:D :D :D :D :D :D
I have a question if thats ok - how many members of this forum have you met and has there been a meet before or indeed is there going to be one?
Well thats sort of more than a question, its a sort of multi ...........thingy'd question which requires more than one answer or a multi thingy'd answer..........i'm tired and i'm rambling on in the language of gibberish,,,,,,,,,,,, shut up morphus .........ok

Cheers for that morphus :)

I have met up with 3 groups so far, so not many. A Meet might happen one day when we can get the numbers, but more than likely we'll all just meet individuals at each others training halls for the time being anyway.

Don't worry morphus...I'm sure you'll feel better for your sleep now eh? ;)

[morphus]

Hey Mel, how about expanding the story into a 'real' situation that could happen on the street - like a mugging, just a thought, i'll look forward to reading it in a week or so , i'm off to Majorca today - back in a week.:D

[Melanie]

Part VI

(Groaning) OH MY GOD.....(to myself of course)

So stiff...turned onto my left...ow - my thigh....turned onto my right...ow - my arm...lay on my back....better :)

Its 7:07am and I realise that I should have done a longer warm down...:(

Curses...best get up. I cautiously remove my feet from the bed and use it as balance to move me up and out of it...works everytime :) I rub my eyes and quickly take in the injuries. A purple blotch about the size of my hand on my thigh and a smaller but equally painful bruise on my arm. Ho-hum! I stagger out of bed and I kick Nemesis accidently on the way to bathroom. She hisses and spits her usual morning welcome.

I don't think I'll jog this morning.

Two coffees and a bowl of cornflakes (with generous lashings of sugar) later, I step out into the 8:00am morning sun and try to close the door...Nemesis dashes out last minute...her tail spared by an inch. I get into my car with the usual vitality I experience at this time of the morning and realise - quite genuinely, with surprise - I start my Stick Fighting lessons tonight. :)

The Rover purrs me into work as I dream up new ways to get Nemesis to like me...

During the course of the morning, I could feel parts of my body loosen up and even the merest touch now on my thigh sends gentle waves of pain coursing down my leg. Yan got me good last night... Lunchtime finally arrives and I decide to dare the lunchtime traffic to go into town and get some decent lunch food...Burger King :D (Bet Yoda is dead impressed with my diet so far - thank God its fiction eh Yoda? ;) ) I park the car with my usual expert precision, backwards and forwards several times - attempting a reverse park in Co-ops car parking and eventually abandon it dangerously close to a Subaru :D I queue up as is custom and decide on a burger and fries. As I approach the tills I notice a quick shift change in front of me and I am eventually served by "Burger King - My name is Jack - *". Nice looking chap, almost completely bald, kinda looked more like a bouncer more than anything else. The food arrived and looking back at "Jack" I said farewell and dashed out into the humid afternoon air. I managed to consume this on the way back to the car (didn't want to smell out the interior) and made my slow way back to work via ALL the one way systems!

4:30pm...looked at the clock again....4:32pm...sheesh...why does it always drag? :( 5:00pm eventually arrives and I find my car in the usual state of high humidity, one day I'll remember it park it in the shade. Barest touches on the burning fake leather steering wheel, take me my short journey to the local petrol station and a hot sausage roll and diet coke (I'm trying ok?). This is demolished in rapid time, I still need to find the location of the school for my stick fighting class tonight. Scribbled directions were placed in the car sometime last week, a brief but incredibly gruelling 7 minute search finds a crumpled piece of paper stuffed some how into the side pocket and attached to a bit of melted toffee? Thankfully the directions are clear enough and I start the engine. After several near misses and at least one hand brake turn I arrive outside a dodgy looking village hall. There are several cars outside the hall and I 'parked' next to a Astra that has "You wanna give me some stick? Wait till you see mine!" sticker on the bumper. I'm intrigued already at what the owner of this car is going to be like.

As I remove my change of clothes from the back of the car I hear from an open window a "clack, clack, clack" - I check the address again...no wait...I don't hear any bells? For a moment I thought I heard morris dancers practicing. I stare through a window and see pairs of people hitting each other with sticks, I watch one pair with particular enthusiasm...they are moving so fast! The look of grim determination on the one facing the window attracts my attention, a sheen of sweat on his face as he grimaces and blocks another hard blow again and again with a stick about the length of my arm. I watch until they stop and he sees me peering and gestures to come on in - smiling at me. Oh well...here goes...wonder what levels of pain I'm going to go through tonight?

[Bon]

Hey, Melanie, I liked it! :)