can ne1 cure fear

[small guy]

if ne1 knows a cure for frar pls tel me becos wen i got muged by bigger ppl i wos reely scared and i didnt think i could fight them-there was nothing around to use as a wepon and im useless wivout wepons

[thiaboxr2]

I assume you mean a cure for fear? You were mugged by more than one person at different times or mugged by a group of people at one time? And you felt useless without weapons?

( I think this is the proper translation considering your spelling was....you know.....off!)


Hopefully you are being serious. With that said.......


You do not need weapons to feel secure. You need to work out your insecurities. Many people get scared when being robbed. Having a weapon on may not neccassarally deter them from robbing you, especially if its a knife. It may cause them to rush you, or taunt you into doing something stupid, then use your knife on you!

As a matter of fact, you may get over confident when relying on only weapons as your means of defense. Its great knowing you HAVE a means of defending yourself if need be, but its better not to risk your life over some money or jewelry. Especially if its a group of people robbing you.


Best thing to do is make sure you do not go out alone, always go in groups of 2 or more, do not wear anything that says " HEY, I got money!!!!" -Expensive clothing, gold watches...

Look at it this way, Its better that you did not have a weapon when you got robbed and tried to use it. Because you may not be here today:)

[Aravi]

Fear serves a purpose.

Self preservation.

And this may sound cliche, but if you accept fear can you learn to overcome it.

[thekingster]

In the worldview of the Christian martial artist, perfect love casts out all fear. This does not mean that we, who espouse Christianity never experience fear. Fear is a valid emotion, much like anger - which should be evaluated in light of what's "under" the emotion. Does a particular situation invoke fear? Then, without being trite, avoid that situation. If the situation you speak of is legitimate, then work with some fellow martial artists on what the proper response to a mugging should be. True MA's will avoid conflict - but if they can not - will decimate their opponents.

[small guy]

thanks ppl

[stump]

Investing in a spellchecker can normally help in the fight against fear!!!!;)

[zun]

stump, I think when they mugged him, they took away his keyboard. He's using text messages on his phone to write to the forum! :P

[YODA]

Fear is a good thing - as Cus D'Amato said so well...

"Fear is the friend of exeptional people"

Accept it - control it - use it.

[Aravi]

Fear, it's because you want to live :P

[goatnipples2002]

Originally posted by small guy
if ne1 knows a cure for frar pls tel me becos wen i got muged by bigger ppl i wos reely scared and i didnt think i could fight them-there was nothing around to use as a wepon and im useless wivout wepons

start by changing your mind. you keep telling yourself your scared and you will be. keep telling yourself your nothin without a weapon you won't be.

[ns_oni]

run into the fight not caring if you live :)

[Ghost Frog]

Originally posted by ns_oni
run into the fight not caring if you live :)

Spoken like a true samurai!! You been reading book of five rings again?!!

[goatnipples2002]

also do some iron training to build confidence or traditional kara-te conditioning to do the same.:D

[YODA]

I agree - Iron Training will give you a strong foundation.

I recommend...

Squats
Chins
Benchpress
Shoulder press

--- as a good starting point.

[stump]

Try to confront the "Fear Pyramid"

[YODA]

I think he may need some info on what that is Stump :D

[blaksun]

I don't think fear is a good thing.

If being mugged by a large person who looks exceptionaly dumb, try to remember that most bullies are like bears.
With this in mind, here are some *interisting* tips

Yell: Kiai or aiai or something else really really really really loudly.
Flap your arms.
Billow out your coat as to make yourself appear larger.
Prance around in circles drooling and rolling your eyes, talking gibberish also helps.

And do me a favour...get someone to tape it...

[zun]

Adequate fear is a good thing - it's what keeps us alive. For example, I'm not afraid of a non-venomous python. However a poisonous cobra scares the hell out of me.

Note, fear and excitement are the same emotion. They just have a different label.

It's very easy to convert fear into excitement.

[Shade]

It's very easy to convert fear into excitement.

I tried it once, and got a hardon at the dentists.

[Noob]

Too much information Shade ;)

On fear it's something I have a lot of experiance with. I started learning an MA to help deal with a fear, it's important not to let yourself get trapped in it, you can find yourself wasting a lot of life doing that (sorry if that sounds overly harsh - it's something I know to be true from my personal experiances, also it's not directed just at you but at anyone reading this).

My experiances no doubt are different to yours, you have had a tangible, real world experiance mine was not a fear based off of one particular event.

If on the other hand you are talking about being afraid at the time of the event then that is perfectly normal, it's natural to be afraid, fear is basically your early warning system.

I'm still trying to deal with my fear, learning an MA is one of the steps I'm taking.

My advice, to you would be simply try and put this incident behind you. But don't forget about it, learn from it. Also you don't need weapons, they just lead to more trouble in the long run.

Stump - I'd be very interested in this pyramid of fear thing, if you wouldn't mind sharing some of the details it would be most appreciated.

[TkdWarrior]

if it's unnecessary fear, try NLP(Neuoro Linguistic Programming)
-TkdWarrior-

[stump]

OK it’s been a while since I read on this but the idea is to categorise your fears and prioritise them according to how much they affect you then you look for strategies to confront and overcome it. There should be quite a few things you’re a little agitated about, a few less things you have serious fear of and a very small number of things that cause absolute terror….hence the pyramid idea.

Say you are afraid of

Dentists
Heights
Snakes


Basically you work out the order in which they come in your own fear pyramid and confront them from the bottom up….confronting the little ones gives you confidence to face the bigger ones. This is probably a complete basterdisation of it but hopefully you get the idea.

The best thing to do is to buy one of Geoff Thompsons books on Fear….I’m sure Yoda will agree with me that he’s a hell of an example of a Martial artist.

http://www.geoffthompson.com/books/Books_Fear.htm


If you really have a serious problem with something causing inappropriate fear responses don’t faff around with books….go and see a psychologist

Hope that helps

[David]

Heard a stuntman talking about fear the other day and it's been making me think. He said something along the lines of you shouldn't get 'emotional' about your fear and it was time to retreat when that happened because you'd lost your nerve. That's a vague way of phrasing it but it made some sense to me.

It reminded me of something I was taught in class. We do some pretty strenous partnered resistance exercises for 5, 10 or 20 mins non-stop. There often comes a point where I suddenly screw up my face with the effort and think to myself "I can't do it, I can't do it". What happens next is that I get flustered and basically my resolve collapses and then my body does, too.

The thing I was taught was to relax my grimacing face and I found it stopped the panic of "I can't do it" and lo, I could continue. It hurt and was hard but I could continue. This mental panic-trigger is the 'emotional' onset that the stuntman referred to.

Treat fear like, I dunno, a heavy stone in your pocket - noticeable, irritating, unnecessary, but nothing to get upset about. Just carry on. Obviously, in the case of seven muggers that means carry on getting beat but whatever.

Rgds,
David

PS I think I might buy a GT book or ask someone else to buy me one.

[Thokk]

In a situation where your life is in danger, fear can get you killed. Fear causes you to doubt your self and to hesitate. In a fighting situation for example, emotions like fear, anger et cetera, are only going to get you into more trouble. Conquering fear is a life long process there's no quick fix, but identifying it is a good first step.

[Shadow_Lurker]

goatnipples2002 was trying to say something like this, or maybe I just read it wrong but it's all in the way you think. If you keep telling yourself you are scared you will be. If you think you are useless without a weapon you will be. However, with that last statement I would like to say that remember that your body is a weapon by itself.

Fear is something that will overcome you if you let it. If someone is bigger than you it doesn't mean you should be scared. (I know what I want to say but I'm having trouble saying it, forgive me.) Okay, the way I see it, everyone is equal to me and I am equal to everyone else. I don't always think like this but when I feel the need to think like that I do. People try to be intimidating by words and sometimes that gets people scared... just like it's suppossed to, just remember that they're just words though.

I don't know if that came out right but I hope you got the message that I was trying to say. Sorry it wasn't clear. Just don't follow that one hundred percent... just because it's advice doesn't mean it's good advice. In the end, it all comes down to you.

[TigerAnsTKDLove]

the only way to cure fear... is just to face it... even though you may get hurt in the end. if you only run away you'll only fear it more. just face it and hope for the best. as the nike quote goes.... JUST DO IT!

[sindo]

Next time you are overcome by fear - check your breathing (usually this becomes irregular and shallow) and change it so that you are breathing steadily in and steadily out again. You will find that you will be able to control your fear better.

http://www.sindo.org

[hedgehogey]

Confront it head on. There is no other way. Just do it.

When I was a kid, I was scared of the elephant man. So I forced myself to read and watch as much as I could about him.

Just because he's all lumpyface doesn't mean he don't need WUVZ AND CUDDLEZ ^_^

You might try some contact sparring.

[Fire-Horse]

I agree with others 'fear' is a good thing, it is a natural reaction to danger. Example - my toddler has no fear of drowning, this is not a good thing - if it wasn't for my parental instinct (my fear for her safety) to watch her constantly she would have drowned when she decided to throw off her arm-bands and jump in the swimming pool.

However, over-reaction to fear and fear induced panic are clearly not good things. Conclusion - we should seek to control fear and not to 'cure' it.

Recommendations (what works for me).

1. Accept fear as being a good thing.

2. Identify the root causes of your fear.

3. Put your fears in context - are they really likely to happen?

4. Accept that things that you are frightened off are rarely as bad as you think they are going to be. (Unfortunately the opposite also tends to be true, i.e. things that you think will be really excellent often fall short of high expectations).

5. Don't allow your mind to dwell on your fears, use strategies to deal with them (like the pyramid one already posted), then focus your mind on positive things, not only will this reduce your fears but if you apply yourself to this it will increase the quality of your life.

6. Confrontation of fear (if successful) will boost confidence and reduce the fear, but direct confrontation is unsuitable when the risks are too high. Example - you buy a fast motorcycle, at first its speed frightens you, you confront this fear and have a speed induced accident, you wake up in a wheelchair. Another example, a young lady is frightened of someone who has a history of violent rape convictions, the rapist is stalking her, would you tell her to stop and confront the rapist?

7. Fear often causes rapid shallow breathing (good point Sindo), this will lead to panic if not checked. Learn how to control your breathing, get some input from a good instructor on deep breathing methods (make sure they know what they're talking about, done wrong this could be harmful). Practice this whenever you feel anxious, frightened or even over-excited, your fears will fade and your performance will improve. Apply this all the time even if these emotions are not strong, this will help it become second nature to you and therefore will be easier for you to use in a more stressful situation.

8. Maintain a high standard of health and fitness, this helps to give you a strong mind as well as a strong body.

9. Use humour to de-demonise (yep, made-up word :D ) your fears. Laughter can be a great healer of fear, hense black humour (often harder these days in an over-politically correct climate) often being used in professions that work in high stress situations (e.g. armed forces, law enforcement, medical & fire-fighting teams).

Preparation, persistence and self-discipline are important, but it does work. You will have lapses unless you are superhuman, but these will get fewer and fewer as you get better at dealing with it. Accept the lapses and ride them through, they won't last long then the sun will shine again. :)

When you do get better at dealing with fear - beware of complacency, don't ignore the risks, the danger is still there and it is still important to keep yourself safe (back to the swimming pool example here).

Finally make sure that you're not suffering from mental deseases like post-traumatic stress, (signs and symptons can be easily found on the internet). If you are, don't feel stigmatised, it can happen to anyone, regardless of how strong a person you think you are, and do seek professional help (not tablets).

Good luck :)

[Nrv4evr]

if you have no fear, than you have no courage either (theoretically). and what kind of a world would we be without some code of conduct?

to combat fear is like enduring pain. accept it. if you don't like it, cry. :cry:

[Einherjer]

i know what you mean. i used to tremble a lot in a situation that will end up with fighting. i do not now if it was anger or fear or a combination of two. i got over it by getting beaten up.
1-)never think that you will get hit, just charge.
2-)if your opponent carries a knife, run away.(do not try any techniques.)
3-)do not carry a knife, if you draw it, he would draw his too if he has. or even worse, he can use yours against you.
4-)if you do not have anything you can't give up on you, give it.
5-)train martial arts, it builds self-confidence.
6-)always smile:)
:Angel:

[ranger]

fear is really a great concern for many people including me. fear is even contagious! yes, i have been to a situation were i was afraid i understand exactly how it feels but i suppressed my fear... no not fear... terror i mean, and faced it.

[Happeh]

Sure fear is contagious. It is energy. People who are fearful give off fear energy and other people pick it up like a radio.