Five women sat on intruder!

[tom555]

Daily mail, june 18th article... page 4


An intuder was caught red handed by five women and then sat on until police came. The women all who take self defence lessons at the akido gym in Battersea, London, promptly wrestled him to the ground so they could sit on him.

Susan Hawk, said, we had just got home from a night out celebrating my friends birthday, when this intruder appeared from no where he must of already been in the flat while we were out. He was quite tall but very skinny though and we quickly decided that we could probably sit on him.

It didn't take much to wrestle him down to our surprise although there were
five of us. No arm bars or locks were used at all, the stuff we learnt at the gym...we just simply sat on him and there was nothing he could do. Despite his protest we kept him down and waited for the police who didn't arrive until an hour later, at which time we were still sat on the thief.





From Julie

[Mixitup]

Daily mail, june 18th article... page 4

we kept him down and waited for the police who didn't arrive until an hour later


???????????? Far too busy changing the film in a speed camera

[Oversoul]

Of course they were able to hold him down. There were FIVE of them!

[karate princess]

Well the police obviously thought the women had it under control, lol.

[Victoria]

They sat on him for an HOUR??

That's impressive :cool:

[CosmicFish]

That's hilarious! If I was one of the women I would have definitely farted on him. :)

[karate princess]

If I was one of the women I would have definitely farted on him. :)

Typical of a guy to think that.

:D

[Victoria]

I suppose if you think about it, at least one of them probably did! 5 people going a whole hour without farting? When you take the situation into consideration as well, I'm guessing they were a little nervous... :D

[CosmicFish]

I suppose if you think about it, at least one of them probably did! 5 people going a whole hour without farting? When you take the situation into consideration as well, I'm guessing they were a little nervous... :D
I feel a lot better about this now you've said that. I really would hate to think that all five women would have passed up such a golden opportunity. :D

[tom555]

these women were no doubt brave and deserve a medal..

[karate princess]

They don't deserve a medal....there were 5 of them and 1 of him.

[tom555]

I think they were well within the law and their rights. I mean they could have done worse.............but only decided to sit on him instead.

[Victoria]

I think it's a good thing that they thought to sit on him - rather than just not thinking straight and running around screaming and throwing flower pots at him

[Tommy-2guns...]

lol what a shamefull way to get yourself beaten up and arrested...poor bloke....5 fat women sitting on one skinny poor oppotunistic criminal...ouch

[Tommy-2guns...]

(please note) i am assuimg these women are fat, because thats the mental imadge i see when picturing this story...again...if so...POOOR guy

[Mixitup]

(please note) i am assuimg these women are fat, because thats the mental imadge i see when picturing this story...again...if so...POOOR guy

I did also, I do hope they are fat.

[tom555]

I agree. They weighed up the options by the sound of it he was tall but not very well built apparently. It would be a simple matter to sit on him.

[Mixitup]

I agree. They weighed up the options by the sound of it he was tall but not very well built apparently. It would be a simple matter to sit on him.

They must be

[Victoria]

Surely if they were all fat the guy would have been seriously injured after an hour? Even 2, or 3 would have been very uncomfortable in just a short time, especially if he was 'that' skinny

[Mixitup]

Surely if they were all fat the guy would have been seriously injured after an hour? Even 2, or 3 would have been very uncomfortable in just a short time, especially if he was 'that' skinny

Don't spoil the mental picture in my head :D

[Victoria]

Don't spoil the mental picture in my head :D
Haha ok...so we have 5 fat ladies, sitting AND farting on a poor skinny criminal dude, who suffered for a whole hour :eek:
Think he may have issues with women in future? Or at least think twice before letting himself in to someone else's flat :cool:

[Mixitup]

Oh yes LOL

[tom555]

I'm not shore if they were fat just average. They were college girls i think and
rather fit doing a lot of running. It's a simple thing for women to do if they are in groups...just sit on him.

[Alansmurf]

maybe he did not struggle too much ....

5 women sitting on a male ......where did they position their weight ??? ;)

[Alansmurf]

two of the women 11!!

[Victoria]

two of the women 11!!
Haha! That should go in the funny picture thread :D

[Alansmurf]

Haha! That should go in the funny picture thread :D


Loads more of those pics in the members area ..........blatant advertising here MODS!!!!!!! :D

[CosmicFish]

I think it's a good thing that they thought to sit on him - rather than just not thinking straight and running around screaming and throwing flower pots at him
For some reason this had me cracking up. :)

[sn11]

All of this post pretty much had me cracking up. Maybe these fat ladies didnt fully sit on him perhaps they mearly hovered so he couldnt get up? Or maybe one sat on an arm the other his other arm and one on each leg...and the last...perhaps his head? or body? i havent decided yet...either way can you imagine what this guy thought? he's in someones flat to then see 5 fat women diving on him to sit on him? if i knew how to post pictures on here im sure i could find one to the effect!

[Lily]

If I ever had the chance I'd be jumping up and down on the intruder in heels. That guy deserves no sympathy.

[saru1968]

For some reason this had me cracking up. :)


Not as bad as me as when i first read the thread title i thought there was a 'H' in there as well!

[sn11]

Not as bad as me as when i first read the thread title i thought there was a 'H' in there as well!


LOL! now that would have made a really interesting/disturbing thread no?

[CosmicFish]

Not as bad as me as when i first read the thread title i thought there was a 'H' in there as well!
You just have to take it one step further than me, don't you? ;)

[NaughtyKnight]

I dont think i'd mind 5 women sitting on me :cool:.

Pretty unorthodox way to keep someone down though :p.

[Lord Spooky]

They are lucky he wasn't armed! Could of been a different story then.

[tom555]

Keep It Up Girls Great Stuff!! Rock On!!

[Victoria]

Keep It Up Girls Great Stuff!! Rock On!!
Haha!
*hides screen from boss*

Yes they are very lucky he wasn't armed.
He sounds like a bit of a 'dumb criminal' really. Wanders into someones flat, skinny as a rake, unarmed, to be sat on by women and I assume, nicked.

Maybe he was just lost...

[Lord Spooky]

I think that's one thing you have to keep view of in these situations.

Yes they did well.
Yes they showed courage!
Yes the were lucky one of the didn't get stuck with a screw driver!!!!

Personally I'd of given him a way out and let him take it as long as I or my family wasn't in any danger from him.

[cloudz]

I dont think i'd mind 5 women sitting on me :cool: .

Indeed! a man after my own heart :D

If I ever had the chance I'd be jumping up and down on the intruder in heels.

maybe we can work something out :)

[tom555]

he might of taken a wrong turning..........who knows.

[Lord Spooky]

I can see it now:

"Honest luv I meant to turn left at the Lamb and Flag then right by the post office but next thing you know I'm in your bedroom" :eek:

:D

[Victoria]

"Intruder alert intruder alert. Quick girls, position back side and drop!"

[Lord Spooky]

"Intruder alert intruder alert. Quick girls, position back side and drop!"


hmm remind me to look out for you at seminars :D :D

[Victoria]

Ahh...






...I should have read that again before clicking 'submit'


:o

[Youkai]

Look we are not hearing the guys story here he might actually be the victim here. Imagine this. These five girls, rather drunk and full of doner kebab, are staggering along arm in arm for support. They come to a bench and they sit down for a minute as their feet are killing them.

Unknown to them an underfed homeless guy just trying to bed down for the night is asleep on the bench. Due to the weight suddenly placed on him he cannot cry out and quickly passes out. The girls stand up together and arm in arm continue their journey. The emaciated chap due to his light weight and the general sweatyness of the girls remains stuck to their rear.

They get home to the flat and as they break up in the hall suction is broken are our poor guy falls to the floor. He comes too just long enough to here lots of screaming and cannot understand how he got where he is and why these women are all trying to sit on him. At first he probably thinks he's having one of those erotic dreams again but that's quickly disgarded as once again he's crushed under the weight of the five bodies. He thinks, have they kidnapped him and are some sort of sexual deviants but this is slowly replace by the sheer terror that he is stuck under five women discussing last nights Eastenders and isn't that barmaid a right trollop.

After an hour he's willing to confess to any crime just so long as the police get him the hell out of there.

See, throws a different light on the whole thing :p

[tom555]

That's really brilliant!!!!!

[tom555]

Police academy.............watch out !

[Victoria]

That was great :D

Oh how easily a situation can be turned around...

[Al Bundy]

Hmm, I can't help thinking that a lot of people are using this thread as an excuse to "accidently" reveal their favourite fetish.

Which is fair enough I guess..........

[tom555]

Yes. But at the end of the day at least it is a true life women's self defence story, ever if they only did sit on him.

[Victoria]

I do think it's quite clever what they did. There probably isn't much they could have done that would have been better.

Though - if it had been five men who had sat on a female intruder...?
The shoe's suddenly on a different foot. I don't think they deserve medals for being women

[Mixitup]

These women are looking for a new flat mate now

[Victoria]

These women are looking for a new flat mate now
Hehe
I'm surprised that one didn't pop up sooner :p

[tom555]

I quite agree. It was clever of them.

[Mixitup]

Hehe
I'm surprised that one didn't pop up sooner :p

A pop-up flat mate?

[Victoria]

A pop-up flat mate?
Sounds like something you'd find on eBay...

[Mixitup]

Sounds like something you'd find on eBay...

I don't search those particular pages :eek:

[tom555]

Let's get back to basics...i wonder how they did sit on him..any particular strategy?..where did they sit, and in what way?

[Mixitup]

The one in the middle is still smiling :love:

[sn11]

Haha!
*hides screen from boss*

Yes they are very lucky he wasn't armed.
He sounds like a bit of a 'dumb criminal' really. Wanders into someones flat, skinny as a rake, unarmed, to be sat on by women and I assume, nicked.

Maybe he was just lost...


Why did i read it as nicked with an A instead of an I? :rolleyes:


and oddly enough without the C...damn.

[Victoria]

The one in the middle is still smiling :love:
In your fantasy maybe ;)
Well 1/2 must have been on arms, and same on legs...then 1 in the middle. Maybe Mixiup isn't too far of the mark :eek:

[tom555]

well in control then.

[sn11]

To clear it up why dont we get 5 MAP ladies to test it...I know its a crappy job but i'll put name in for being the "criminal" who gets caught....then we can see what works best....any takers? :Angel:

[Mixitup]

To clear it up why dont we get 5 MAP ladies to test it...I know its a crappy job but i'll put name in for being the "criminal" who gets caught....then we can see what works best....any takers? :Angel:

You'll be fighting NaughtyKnight for that job, sorry but my money's on the guy with the horse.

[sn11]

Damn it. lol. But i made up the job Surely i get to decide? but as it'll be a strictly psychological/scientific experiment, it needs more than one lot of studies! bring on the babes!

[tom555]

What should they be wearing for instance. Mini skirts, Pamela Anderson look alikes x five of course.

[tom555]

No. On second thoughts....Liz Hurleys in tight jeans for sure.

[Tansy]

rock n roll! well done thoose birds! must try that some time.

Tans

[tom555]

well you only have to wrestle him done girls, then SIT ON HIM!!

[Pocari Neko]

Hey - could someone post the link to the original site? I have gone to the Daily Mail site but wasn't about to find the article... :o

[Myke_Tyson]

WOW! 5 College chicks sitting on one dude?!

If that was me I probably would have developed an erection and tell the girl nearest to my crotch "Oh don't mind me, I just carry a roll of quarters whenever I visit random strangers flats.... :o ".


Ahem..... *cough cough* so any pics of the hot er I mean heroic ladies??? :o

[karate princess]

WOW! 5 College chicks sitting on one dude?!

If that was me I probably would have developed an erection and tell the girl nearest to my crotch "Oh don't mind me, I just carry a roll of quarters whenever I visit random strangers flats.... :o ".


Ahem..... *cough cough* so any pics of the hot er I mean heroic ladies??? :o

:rolleyes: