Fighting Frustration In The Dojo

[canemaster]

Hi all-a few posts ago in this forum I wrote to BentMonk about how my kicking had improved over three years of Kempo Jujitsu. I'm 41, have Cerebral Palsy. I should learn to remember my own thoughts.
The last few weeks of class have been difficult. After nearly all private lessons, my senseis decided to open my time slot to all adults during the summer. Since I go in mid morning before work, I get 1, 2 or three people with me. Sometimes it is frustrating. Tuesday, we had to run to eight spots all over the dojo randomly, but numbered. I did times of 28, 25 & 22 seconds-half as much as the two others in class. We also had to "hop" diagonally zround three bo staffs.Back leg steps first, front leg goes back after stepping, and so on. My hips still hurt. Today, I had to hold the punch mitts as a 16 year old pounded. BUT-I had to move WITH HIM and/or keep my balance-so there was definite benefit for me. Next, evading and/or sprawling. Four times-BAM BAM BAM BAM-fell! Fortunately, the instructor said, "You slapped out each time, good job." Only on the fifth try did I evade. I still fell, but stayed at least on my knees so that I could get up quickly or be in control. I was angry, but then thought-its Ok.
I guess I write this to anyone who feels self conscious in a class situation. Ask yourself-WHY AM I HERE? To be like others? Or be my best me? This AIN'T competitive powerlifting, where its just you and the bar. It's STILL you, but you have to deal with instructors and other students with respect-and YOURSELF! Three years ago:

I couldn't kick at all-[B]Kick Chick on her kindest day might have been frustrated at that! :rolleyes: My teachers literally picked up my legs from a standing position. Now, the left leg kicks consistently knee to thigh area. The right leg-ankle to calf, every so ofren a knee

I can SEE punches and kicks coming-I can read that they WILL be there. With the cane, I block very well. Still have much work to do without it.

I can do 30 pushups in 1 minute

I can ride a stationary bike 90 minutes with 5 pound weights on each foot.

People notice the change in body structure and my walking.

I am nearly a half inch TALLER simply by BETTER POSTURE

I can do things with a cane others cannot

I EARNED my blue belt

So, who has it better than me? Ok, remind me to read the next time I am ticked off. Or just write your own experiences here...

God bless all-

Canemaster

[BentMonk]

It does not matter how many times you fall. It matters how many times you get up. Remember to find satisfaction in the small victories, in time you will win the war. The body follows where the mind leads. Meditation + Determination + Dedication = Success. HTH. Train hard and be happy. :D

[Blinky]

i get frustrated in the dojo also, mainly because the majority of people that i train with havn't been told that i have an eye condition, or just forget. a simple reminder that i cant see them unless im close to them and everything is fine again. my instructor however is great, he doesnt make a big deal over me not being able to see, he just positions himself in a place where he knows that i can see him or if that isnt possible then at least where i can hear him. not exactly the same thing, just thought i would share

[Shrukin89]

I feel your frustration, I had similar frustrations in school when I try to learn things in school that I can't quite grasp, that I do fail lots of times. From what I have which CAPD. Which is a learning disability from that I had when I was born. As I grew up I had to manage to work around it, and to think of basically of what BentMonk said at the bottom "Meditation + Determination + Dedication = Success." Well maybe cutting out the Meditation part. Anyway, I hope you would be able to do the same to work around it. It does possess a challange, and if you conquer it. You've won the war, or the battle however you put it.

But I wasn't able to do it by myself, I had to have my parents to help and teachers to help me succeed and it's not all that bad to do that.

Besides you are improving as you are getting help by others. :D

[KellyOwens]

Canemaster, it's fantastic to hear of your improvements!!

It's encouraging because I know how it feels to train twice as hard to gain half as much as someone else. Makes me glad my MA training isn't about what anyone else can do but about what I can do :) .

My journey is so often two steps forward and one step back and it DOES get frustrating...very! I know other people's expectations of me are high (my physical limitations aren't obvious and I can at times perform above average) but my expectations for myself are even higher and that's what sinks me (I was a very able-bodied, healthy person at one time, LOL, now it comes in spurts :D ). It's not that I need to stop aiming so high but that I need to stop constantly looking at what I'm not accomplishing and focus on what I am.

I appreciate your post and what you've shared :Angel: .

Kelly

[gornex]

There is no one who does martial arts and doesn't get frustrated. If you don't get frustrated you aren't trying hard enough!

[Shrukin89]

There is no one who does martial arts and doesn't get frustrated. If you don't get frustrated you aren't trying hard enough!

Here i'll fix it up a bit for ya.

Correction: Everybody who does Martial Arts gets frustrated. If you do get frustrated you aren't trying hard enough!

[BentMonk]

Frustration is sometimes what it takes for us to truly push ourselves. There is a difference between training hard every day, and training for a specific goal. Rather it's a higher kick, a punch that will break concrete, or winning a competition, the accomplishment of these types of goals delivers a rush like no other. These successes often inspire greater achievements. Still, without that initial sense of frustration, we may never have gotten ticked off enough to try so much harder. :D

[Blinky]

i definatly agree with all the above thoughts, particularly the ones on how frustration gives you an incentive to improve yourself. i know with my own training, also instances not related to MA, being frustrated about not being able to do something just makes me want to do it even more, essentialy making me try harder and keep trying until i get it.

another thought, or question; take it how you will. i just want to know if anyone else gets angry if/when people dont think you are able to do something, or have a lower expectation of your abilities if they know about your dissability, even if they have just found out about your dissability and had, up till then, treated you normaly.
im not too sure if i worded that right but i hope you can understand what i was trying to say, any thoughts on this would be good
thanks

blinky

[Xul]

i definatly agree with all the above thoughts, particularly the ones on how frustration gives you an incentive to improve yourself. i know with my own training, also instances not related to MA, being frustrated about not being able to do something just makes me want to do it even more, essentialy making me try harder and keep trying until i get it.

another thought, or question; take it how you will. i just want to know if anyone else gets angry if/when people dont think you are able to do something, or have a lower expectation of your abilities if they know about your dissability, even if they have just found out about your dissability and had, up till then, treated you normaly.
im not too sure if i worded that right but i hope you can understand what i was trying to say, any thoughts on this would be good
thanks

blinky

Cane congratulations on your success.

I can definitely relate as cerebral palsy happens to be a condition I was diagnosed with early on. To answer Blinky's question of course I get frustrated. My instructors often let me by on things that would get another class member of the same belt level yelled at for being so "sloppy". Even though I put in all the effort that I can during each class, I often am too hard on myself and feel as though my training during the day was unacceptable.

All my peers and teachers have been aware of this condition since the first day I came years ago. I have never been disrespected by old or new members at any point because of my physical abilities. People in the dojo care for me and are happy to see the leaps of progression that I have made.

The outside world however is a different story, but we all know how vile and un-sympathetic people can be towards others with disabilities. I suppose that my frustration over this is greater than any obstacle that I could face in the dojo.