The Difference between Karate and Sex

[ladyhawk]

The Difference between Karate and Sex

Even ugly Karate-ka score regularly.

In Karate you have a Sensei to tell you what you're doing wrong, and you get to practice first before trying it out for real.

You can practice Karate with strangers without getting a bad reputation and you don't have to spend $30 in the bar getting to know them first.

You are not being insulting if you insist that your Karate partner wear protective gear.

No one expects a Karate bout to last much longer than two minutes and you don't have to worry afterwards if the other Karate-ka enjoyed it or not.

In Karate you don't have to get your own equipment until you decide whether or not you like it.

You usually practice Karate in a big, brightly lit room with lots of people in it.

The person you're practising Karate with won't mind if your buddies stand around and cheer for you.

It doesn't hurt if someone steps on bo.

It is almost impossible to catch a disease from
a bo.

You can play with your bo in public and no one will laugh.

No one cares how long your weapon is, and if it breaks you just go get a new one.

It is easy to get pretty girls to hold on to
your weapon.

Finally, and perhaps most significantly, in Karate if your opponent doesn't come, you win.

[waya]

LOL I had missed this one, ty for pointing it out ladyhawk. *needs some air now* lol

[ladyhawk]

OK, I feel better now. I thought I was gonna have to whack everyone with a bo to get someone's attention.

[waya]

If ya do just hit me in the head, it's empty anyway LOL :)

[Chazz]

Shoooo. that was killer. my side still hurts from *L* so hard. If you find any more like this let us know

[ladyhawk]

Hear Ye, Hear Ye...
New joke posted in the joke section entitled Karate Tournament.
Don't say I didn't tell ya.

[Burple]

Oi as nevur had shex or dunsh Karraddi eithers. Wood shumwun pweashe expwain da jokesh to mes?

[YODA]

LOL! Resurrection time for this old one.

Ahem....

The difference between karate & Sex is...

There IS such a thing as bad Karate :D

[Andy Murray]

.................After a given age! ;)

[YODA]

Originally posted by Andy Murray
.................After a given age! ;)


Touche :D

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by YODA



Touche :D

ZZ Top!!!

Am I right? :D

[YODA]

Errrrr....... nope.

You're getting' better in your wardrobe though :D

[Saz]

The difference between karate & Sex is... it's easy to get rid of your partner once your done with them :D

[Spike]

"You usually practice Karate in a big, brightly lit room with lots of people in it. "

Why is that different?

[KarateKid1975]

Hehehehehe that is too funny. I like that :D I mean, the first post. Me and my man enjoy it together hehehehehehe .... uummmm that is that we take martial arts together *blushes* and well ..... I won't go there hehehehehehe

[Greyghost]

the similarity between karate and sex is......

1. you have to be stiff to perform both.

2. the harder you are the more respect you get

3. shouting "ous" is acceptable in both

4. pulling funny faces is encouraged

5. sometimes it is overpriced and over before you know it.

6. you can practise it alone!!!!!!!!


sorry!

[YODA]

ROFLMAO :D

[TkdWarrior]

LOL
-TkdWarrior-

[JediMasterChris]

Sex is like euchre if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand.

Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.




That was in somebodies signature in thforce.net

[Knight_Errant]

Me and my man enjoy it together hehehehehehe .... uummmm that is that we take martial arts together *blushes* and well .....

I really, really do not want to know!

1. you have to be stiff to perform both.

2. the harder you are the more respect you get

3. shouting "ous" is acceptable in both

4. pulling funny faces is encouraged

5. sometimes it is overpriced and over before you know it.

6. you can practise it alone!!!!!!!!
my god, that is funny.

[Shortfuse]

The Difference between Karate and Sex

Even ugly Karate-ka score regularly.

In Karate you have a Sensei to tell you what you're doing wrong, and you get to practice first before trying it out for real.

You can practice Karate with strangers without getting a bad reputation and you don't have to spend $30 in the bar getting to know them first.

You are not being insulting if you insist that your Karate partner wear protective gear.

No one expects a Karate bout to last much longer than two minutes and you don't have to worry afterwards if the other Karate-ka enjoyed it or not.

In Karate you don't have to get your own equipment until you decide whether or not you like it.

You usually practice Karate in a big, brightly lit room with lots of people in it.

The person you're practising Karate with won't mind if your buddies stand around and cheer for you.

It doesn't hurt if someone steps on bo.

It is almost impossible to catch a disease from
a bo.

You can play with your bo in public and no one will laugh.

No one cares how long your weapon is, and if it breaks you just go get a new one.

It is easy to get pretty girls to hold on to
your weapon.

Finally, and perhaps most significantly, in Karate if your opponent doesn't come, you win.


*drum roll cliche*

i would have never thought of some of them but others i remember saying once or twice

[surgingshark]

The difference...

You can't expect to make much of a profit out of selling a tape of you and your partner going at it on the mat :p

[#1 Stutta]

LMAO!! I never would have thought of that! :D

[aml01_ph]

In karate...

1. You can be loud all you want and nobody would bother you.
2. Shouting a kiai for every "technique" execution is encouraged.
3. It is not okay to be out of uniform.
4. It is encouraged to be quick about your business.
5. You can do one thing in karate again and again and again...
6. You can still hurt your partner with no fear of getting the police involved.
7. Everything is well supervised.
8. Somebody will always tell you that what you did was crap.

[shotokanwarrior]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! Searingly funny! I'm having a seizure here!

[Teryan]

Similarties between TKD and Sex:

You last two minutes when it counts, 3 if your really good.
Your expected to rase your leg(s) above your head.
Attacking the rear end is a warning or a disqualifcation depending on the opponet.
It all ends with at least one person on the ground.

Difference between TKD and Sex:
You dont teach your kids the techniques.

[JohnnyX]

Errrrr....... nope.

You're getting' better in your wardrobe though :D

That's Genesis. :D

[NRees]

Similarities between TKD and sex:

1) If you mess up the first round, you've got no chance of advancing to the next round
2) If your too rough, you get asked to leave the mat.
3) You don't always need a partner to practice.
4) They'r both contact sports.
5) If you don't wear protective gear, you'll more than likely regret it.

Differnece's :

1) In TKD, you can pay as much attention to the way your partners feet are as you want without negative comments from said partner.
2) It doesn't take years to master sex.
3) You don't need a lisence(sp?) or insurance to practice sex.
4) You can practice TKD in public without risk of being arrested.

:D

[Saz]

Some more reasons...

You may think you can learn it from a book, but when you put it into practise, you soon find out you can't!

To get any good, you need a partner who knows what they're doing.

You get away with more without a referee watching.

Practising blindfolded is good for sensitivity training.

Some people insist on you wearing a uniform during practise.

Doing it with your socks on is not acceptable.

Practising outside often leads to embarrasement when you're caught.

Attacking from behind will get you disqualified.

[Knight_Errant]

Solo practice to the exclusion of sparring is frowned upon.

There are large websites and forums dedicated to both

People confusing the two too much however, are a menace to society....