"Peer" perceptions

[iHeretic]

Since starting Aikido and Qigong (and a search for FMA in my area) a few months ago I've encountered a surprising amount of resistence. This resistence to my newfound love hasn't come from other martial artsis, my dojo mates, work colleagues or family. This resistence has come from other disabled people, and it really took me by surprise. Apparently in dedicating more and more of my non-working time to martial arts I am attempting to elevate myself to the status of "supergimp" alongside such media darlings who "triumph against adversity" as Tanny Grey-Thompson, Ade Adepitan, and those others I can't think of at the moment. You know the ones... recognised for being active and being good at something.

It started with sidelong looks, little comments in each others' ears as I pass, and a general distancing. I've also noticed a rash of little comments on journals and blogs about so-called supergimps and the supposed expectations from the media. "Not all of us can do..." etc. etc. I didn't think it would bother me but it actually is starting to wear thin. I've always lived normal life: I went to a normal school, work in a normal office, live in an unadapted house, hang out with normal people, and now I study martial arts. Oh, and I also happen to use a wheelchair.

I was wondering if anyone else came across any attitudes like this either when they started or years later when people find out what you do with your time?

Cheers,

B

[bcullen]

Yes, I've seen it before and it's not just a disabled issue or MA issue. It's a matter of insecurity. People that aren't living up to their potential feel threatened by those that are trying to live up to their potential. I've encountered the same backhanded comments and cold-shoulder treatment when I decided to go back to college, when I started taking MA etc...

It's really kind of a shame that I have to limit the amount of disclosure about my activities around most people. It's really frustrating as you'd like to show them something you've learned, tell them about something you are struggling with or tell them about an upcoming competition, but can't share that part of your life because it just causes problems. I haven't found a magic answer for this one yet; you can subtly try to encourage them to find something to add some focus/passion to their lives or just maintain a casual distance figuratively speaking.

[BentMonk]

iHeretic - bcullen has the correct in a headlock. The people who cop attitude with you are insecure and jealous. They see in you what they could be but aren't for whatever reasons. It gives them a sense of power and weakens you in their perception if they can belittle you. It would delight them to no end if they knew you cared so much. I am not criticizing you for caring, just advising you that they aren't worth your time and energy. "Always be yourself. Those who matter won't mind. Those who mind won't matter." - Charles M. Schultz :)

[iHeretic]

Aye... I've never really been much for caring what other people think of me. I don't tend to listen to anyone who can do somethingthat tries to that tries to tell me I can't, let alone those who say I can't and haven't tried themselves.

What bugs me more is that I recognise some of their attitude in the old me of a few years ago, copping attitude and resentment at the supergimps who seemed to make the news for sailing around the world with only one lung and a dexterous eyelid or kicking ten muggers to the ground with a little fleshy flid stump, or other such "overcoming all odds" stories.

(Sorry if my language and OTT references offend... I tend to be quite coarse when referencing fellow crips... it's how I refer to myself, too.)

It all kinda changed when I realised I wasn't doing things that crips do, I was doing things that other people do and it was about then that other crip attitudes towards me started to change...

... Good to see I'm not the only one ;)

B