Ever had??

[cyclepath]

a day where the very essence of your being was tore into pieces? Every facet of your life was hit with a low blow on the same day, work, personal lfe, training and even your sense of self?

A day where you recieved news that at work that you are walking a knife edge and that if you do not meet a certain standard you will be disciplined meaning that your career and whole future that you spent 4 years trying to get and 5 years trying to do to the best of your ability, with no thanks.

A day where someone you were close to physically dissects every part of what you hold inside only to reveal what they see as rotten and decayed inside. To basicallly say that they believe you will never be with anyone on that special level and will always be alone, until the day that you die.

A day where someone you trained with and have know for a while says they do not trust you to be near the students in their school, to be told that you are a smiling assasin and everything that you do in the gym just creates a sense of loathing and almost hatred from those around you. That you are not a good friend to someone you have known for nearly 10 years and that you deserve to be distrusted and ignored.


Just wondered, that was my day today by the way.

[SoKKlab]

Yikes,
Where's all this going on?, talk about fear and loathing in Wigan! My sympathies C.P.

If it's any consolation and I know that it's a cliche, but in X amount of time, all this stuff won't matter anymore. Just the pain to deal with for now...

Dig Deep.

[Wearing Grey]

......uh...sorry.....

I hope you feel better.

WG

[Greg-VT]

You need to reconise what has made those people think that way. Why do they feel that way about you?

Could it be anything you've said, or done over the past 4+ years?

[Melanie]

Hey CP,

You and I should talk...sounds like we got a lot in common. I have had a similar few months - luckily it didn't just happen to me in one day. Keep in contact with your familly and friends, or support groups that can be found in the yellow pages or if you feel you have absolutely no where to go, pm/email me - I'll be there :)

Things can only get better...

[pgm316]

Sounds bad, what the hell have you done to these people CP? ;)

Its better to judge yourself than go off others verdicts.

[booksie_girl]

First of all my sympathies. I have never experienced such a bad day, and hope I never will. However, and I say this only in trying to help you, maybe you should try and step back, and try to view yourself as someone else might view you. Try and see what aspects of your character you need to work on, and try to become a better person, without becoming untrue to yourself. But most of all, remember that the way you see yourself is the most important of all. Good luck.

[inacan]

Welcome to what I call "Monday-Friday" life is suffering.

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by cyclepath
a day where the very essence of your being was tore into pieces?

Had a few days like that in my time mate.
Hurtful as they are, low as you may feel, there's only one answer.

Take it like the shot that nearly knocked you out, learn from your mistakes, and come back stronger to win back the respect you deserve.

You've mentioned that some people need a hard shot so they realise their training is for real.

Maybe this is you getting the same thing.
No malice, just a lesson?

[cyclepath]

Thanx for the support people, in relation to the reasons for what has happened. i know whats caused it, he weighs 15 abd a hal stone and has a certain amount of pent up rage inside him. yep me.

i'm turning out to be having one of those ever had weeks and not days. today a certain incident occured by which i may lose my job quicker than the previously mentioned way!!!

It seems i have no friends to turn to for help and support, particularly in the martially arts community. seeing that no one who knows me personally has put a reply on this.

guess that tells me something huh??

The saying goes about reaping what you ow, think it must be harvest time for me.you all have a good life, maybe cach you sometime.

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by cyclepath
It seems i have no friends to turn to for help and support, particularly in the martially arts community. seeing that no one who knows me personally has put a reply on this.



CEA people are rarely on here, and the one who has, has had a bad day deleting posts and banning a member.

You've stuck this thread in the Off Topic area as well, which a lot of people don't check.

Always happy to help in any way possible.

[cyclepath]

Bud, it is an off topic thread!!

There are a few cea dudes that check the site, i dint really expect anything else.

[DogTags]

Yo Dude,

Not been on the net in ages. And doubt I'll be on again in time to read any reply. I'll drop you a text.

[Knight_Errant]

Aw, poor cyclepath :(

[KickChick]

BREAK SOME BOARDS :D ... I know that makes me feel better when I've had a bad day.

But then again.... your situation is much more than a bad day.

I'm not going to make out like I can help you out because I can't... You need to pull yourself together and get on with life.
It deals the cards and you better get yourself back in the game and play the hand you've been dealt.:

[Fergie Boy]

F~%* 'em. and if they try anything; fight the b*s****d*.

[Peaceful_John]

Originally posted by cyclepath
a day where the very essence of your being was tore into pieces? Every facet of your life was hit with a low blow on the same day, work, personal lfe, training and even your sense of self?

A day where you recieved news that at work that you are walking a knife edge and that if you do not meet a certain standard you will be disciplined meaning that your career and whole future that you spent 4 years trying to get and 5 years trying to do to the best of your ability, with no thanks.

No. I've worked at the same company for almost 6 years (i'm 23). While at work, I follow all the rules, and try to excell at my job, and do everything to the best of my ability.

A day where someone you were close to physically dissects every part of what you hold inside only to reveal what they see as rotten and decayed inside. To basicallly say that they believe you will never be with anyone on that special level and will always be alone, until the day that you die.

No. I try to be a good person on the inside. I try not to do anything that might hurt someone else. The people who know me know this. Nobody who knows me thinks that i'm "rotten and decayed". I suppose I would have to do some pretty negative things for any of them to think that.

A day where someone you trained with and have know for a while says they do not trust you to be near the students in their school, to be told that you are a smiling assasin and everything that you do in the gym just creates a sense of loathing and almost hatred from those around you. That you are not a good friend to someone you have known for nearly 10 years and that you deserve to be distrusted and ignored.

No. I treat people with respect - therefor they do not have that opinion of me.

Just wondered, that was my day today by the way.

I'm really sorry. I think it's horrible that a surely undeserving person such as yourself had such a horrible turn of luck in every aspect of his life. For all of your friends, and your employer to turn on you for no reason is a travesty, uncommon though it may be. A travesty usually reserved for those who have treated their friends like dirt, and who half-assed there job and contributed only a minimum in their work, and in their social life. I can only hope that whatever circumstances led up to your unjest day never happen again.



That was sarcasm. Now this is the serious part:

The best advice was from booksie_girl - step back and take a look at how you are toward others. By the looks of one of your other post it looks like you pegged it:

Thanx for the support people, in relation to the reasons for what has happened. i know whats caused it, he weighs 15 abd a hal stone and has a certain amount of pent up rage inside him. yep me.

Everyone has problems.

Just about everyone has to work (in countries lucky enough to have work, that is). Everyone who works has to do a decent job, and contribute, regardless of their problems.

Pent up rage? Bullocks. I'm guessing you're between the ages of 14-18 (if you're older than that - grow up). Everyone has something in their life that at times makes life hard. I know I do. Some people have it worse. Some people have it better. It doesn't really matter. We can't make excuses for ourselves. We have to do good with what we're given. The fact that you have a job, and have the leisure of being able to train in an MA means you have it better than a lot of people. Try not eating for a week, or maybe swatting the flies off of your malaria infested, mal-nutrioned body. Then you'll have my sympathy.

What do you have "pent up rage" over? I know I'd be really p*ssed if I were recruited into Saddam's army at the age of 14, or if I was and old man who never had the benefit of an education, or if i were laying in a pool of my own urine because I was to weak to get up from where I was laying - but I live in America, land of the fat and the lazy. The land where, somehow, a homeless man can still afford booze. And being that you have a job and a MA instructor to p*ss off, i'm guessing you live somplace similar. I think that if you look at your problems in perspective to how bad it could be, you wouldn't have all this rage. Then again it could be hormones, and trust me, that will pass.

Sorry if this is a bit harsh. Call it "tough love" if you will. I really do hope things get better for you, I really truly mean that. But do you really have it that bad? Realize that if you just accept your situation, and the circumstances in your life, the pent up rage will dissapear. Realize that if you change - if you try to do better at your work - try to be good to the people who you care about - then things will get better for you. Promise.

And if you are "trying" but things still suck, either your half-assing that, too, or you need new people in your life.

Best of luck. I hope things get better.

[Jazman]

Peaceful John, I think that's almost TOO blunt of a point there... great advice and outlook on problems. I actually consider my life great, I participate in sports/MA's, I'm going to college with my parents money! I have a car, a decent enough job (don't get paid much but hey, I also don't work much...) plenty of friends, a great relationship with my parents and siblings. Most of this I attribute to the fact that I try reasonably hard at everything I do(I get lazy sometimes), try not to piss people off and listen to their point of view. I admit, some things could be better(maybe a girlfriend) but I could be doing alot worse or more easily, I could be ALOT unhappier with my life. my advice to everyone? try to always keep a positive outlook on life, don't get down on yourself just cause someone is being mean and says something mean to you, find a happy medium with people where you both benifit from a relationship and are happy and remember to always keep a light sense of humor and not take anything too seriously.

[Peaceful_John]

What can I say... I put the "b" in Subtle.

A girlfriend...... um, er, i'm currently between girlfriends myself, so I hear ya' on that one.

I always get a little preterb when I read posts where people think their life is going bad. I apologize if I hurt your feelings Cyclepath. It was not my intent. Sometimes when I get wound up I also get carried away.

[cyclepath]

Thanks for the response Peaceful, the purpose of the post was on a few levels, help me look at myself, let others look at me and to see if i would get any response from certain people.

I know my life isnt bad. The part about the person close to me refers to the way that a girl feels about me after i told her i didnt want to carry on seeing her because i didnt think we were compatible. There are parts of me that are not nice, in relationships as all people have bad parts, but apparently not you. I know i can try and be a better person in a relationship, will i suceed? i dont know.

In relation to the friendship, i train hard some of the students from the club didnt appreciate that, i trained so i could defend myself in a bad situation, preparing the students i hoped for the same. Maybe my way of teaching was harsh, but hey so is a real fight. As to not bein trusted with the students of one of the people i helped teach, i explained my philosophy to him, dont know if he has a slightly better understanding of who and what i am. He still desnt trust me.

About friendship, i thought long and hard again, friendships are not one sided and there was nothing coming from the other side as well, so i'm not the only one responsible. I could still have been a better friend as could other people.

I posted this on a day when i felt particularly low, just hopin for a bit of sympathy, which i got, cheers to hose who PM'd me they were a great help. They helped me focus and i have thought long and hard about my life and the people i know. I've come to a few conclusions about people that i no longer wish to have in my life or have any contact with. It has hepled me, but i know i'm still in a bad place in my life.

By the way, I'm 30 and let me know when your cannonisation comes through.

[Andy Murray]

There are few certainties in life, but nothing lasts forever.

Yesterday is done, tomorrow is a whole new day!

[Shadowchild]

Hey CP, did things pick up for you?

[YODA]

CP is now "Patrick Bateman"

[chaozkingz]

Originally posted by KickChick

It deals the cards and you better get yourself back in the game and play the hand you've been dealt.:

can't say it any better myself. good one kickchick.

personally, when my mind is in turmoil, i pull back and go towards the spiritual side of my training. go back to the breathing exercises, or just simply sit down at the beach listening to the waves and look at the stars during the night :)

hope things take a better turn 4 u

[KenpoDavid]

DUDE - never take to heart ANYTHING a woman says when you are in the middle of breaking up with her! "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

I've been fired from jobs in my chosen career (compuer science) and EVERY TIME it led to more money at a better job. It takes time but time is free you get more of it every morning.

[Bon]

lol,

I take what most women say with a grain of salt now.

[cyclepath]

The update:

I am now Patrick Bateman on this here forum, a joke from my holiday last year, still 1 or 2 women that think its my real name!!

I have dome a lot of thinkin and soul searchin since i posted this and came to a few conclusions and came up with a few plans which i have started into action.

The work part is better, applied for a specialist post and was told that i would be a great loss to my shift, that i'm being sent on a tutors course in order that the new probies that come through will be part trained by me. the Sgt sayin that i was about the only 1 who could show em how to be bobbies and not to just answer whatever came over the radio.

The girl part, the girl keeps textin me sayin she wants to be friends and keeps askin how i am, and basically askin if we could get back together.

The friend part, ive got my head straight about that one. anyone who wants to be my friend knows where i am.

Training, got that one under control, a few people wanting privates and ma and a fellow CEA veteran talkin about settin up a little bit of a coop sort of trainign thing, few of us gettin together and doin a bit all chipping in for the rent of wherever we end up.


On the whole things look a bit brighter, just have to flow with the go. For any other updates check Patricks journal

[KenpoDavid]

cool ;)

[BlackRaven]

Welcome Patrick. :-D