Can a person really change?

[Knight_Errant]

?

[YODA]

Yes - they can.

I am that person.

'nuff said.

[Brad Ellin]

Ditto. I am that person, also. Plus, I have witnessed enough people, friends and otherwise, to see it happen. Usually, but not always, it takes a life threatening or affirming incident to be the catalyst for this change.

Then again, sometimes they just wake up one morning and say "Enough of this crap. I don't like who I am, and neither does any one else. If I want to keep my friends, I'd better change. And in the end, I might just end up liking who I am".

[wayofthedragon]

Just a simple answer from me..................

YES;)

[Kinjiro Tsukasa]

Yes, people can change, and do. I have changed, and am still changing. I am a very different person now than I was at age 20. This is a lifelong process. Be open-minded to experiences that can change you for the better.

[pgm316]

Yes and no.

How much of it is you changing or your behavious changing?

Often we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do, I think its easier to change from that compared to being told you must change are ways..........

[Jack]

Nothing is permanent. Life is constantly changing, everything in existance is being born, growing, and dying in neverending cycles... life is not a static thing, it is a constant jumble of change.

So yeah, people change to.

[Bon]

No, they can't.

I truy to change,
I go backwards, worse than before!

[Jack]

Because change is largely a matter of just happening, not of trying.

And whatever you tell your mind to do, the opposite becomes alert and struggles to win dominance. Supression doesn't work. Careful, patient acceptance and long-term gentle effort do.

[YODA]

People can and do change - and not always for the better.

Bon... you said... "I try to change, I go backwards, worse than before"

In that case you HAVE changed - like I said - not all change is good.

[Bon]

Deleted by Yoda: Sober up or log the hell out!

[Starboy]

All people can change, though it is not necessarily true that all people do change. I know I've changed a lot...especially since I started training in MA.

[David]

Change is cool.

How many of the changers here have always been changers? There's a difference between someone who embraces change changing an aspect of themselves and a person who abhors change changing. In the first, nothing important has really changed because that person primarily identifies with the process of being whereas the latter is a case of major crisis/flowering following a move from the primacy of the form of being to the process.

A small prize to you who comprehends that paragraph on first reading! :D

Considering a person who clings to their form, the first change that they would have to make would be to become a changing type. Depending on their circumstance, pride or ignorance, this may or may not come about.

Well, that was all a bit poncy! I see changed people all around. The dossers on the street messed up on cheap alcohol - ever wonder what they used to be, what they could be? Tragedy and good fortune often affect people profundly, changing their world view either overnight or in slow increments as they grow into their new understanding.

So then, can a person really stay the same?

And why is it that when change is demanded of a person, and they report back that they have changed, the requester hardly ever trusts them or there's a relapse? Perhaps becasue change on a minor level has to be assimilated into the personality. ave you ever had the experience of espousing particular views which you don't actually hold any more? You do it because you're self-programmed with the habit of using those words. It takes time to sort all that out. And during that time, trying to re-wire your habits, you can come unstuck and revert.

It's been shown that change of heart and mind is phsyically detectable in the shape of the brain. I'm reminded of a mild mannerd chap who happened to have a brain scan. Several years later he did a grotesque murder after some emotional trouble (perhaps with the victim). It s happened that this guy had another brain study done on him where it was noted that his brain had changed it's gross structure in accordance with his obssessive thoughts. He became the monster that he hypnotised himself into.
We all think, feel and respond along mental and emotional grooves that we've worn into the surface of our personality. It often takes a recognition of this for success in a given effort to change or to allay negative change. I think 3 months of sustained change behaviour will be enough to make those fresh grooves for your thoughts and emotions to travel along. God knows where I got that number but that's how I've thought of it for a long time. Maybe it was from my New Scientist days...

Change is central to Christianity and is enshrined in the idea of forgiveness, one 'guilty' person recognising the error of his ways seeks forgiveness from his victim. I'm not all that big on Christianity except as part of the whole spiritual story of humanity but forgiveness to me is one of the most powerful tools for healing (positive change) in giver and receiver. To be honest, the 'guilty' party doesn't really have to repent in order for an evolved soul to do their bit of forgiving them.

Hey, I can ramble with the best of them! :D

Rgds,
David

[snake_vs_crane]

i think its more a fact of a person being changed, maybe an event in their life causes them to see differently. But since we are always trying to be what we want to be i dont see change as a spontanious thing, usually instigated.

[Jack]

David! Thanks for that post, it was very insightful and has gotten me thinking.

[akirabob]

Ok, but this all depends on what you mean by change. If you mean can a bad person become good or a good person become bad, you must first look into the aspect that people don't change but their circumstances do. This is why the idea of karma works better than to use things like catagories, the person who changes did not change but simply adapted to make the situation better for him or herself and this is no different essentially than the same person who decides not to change because his or her situation is already good. The ability to adapt is in everyone so, yes people can change. But the definition of said change does not work on many levels because of the fact that people are all intrinsically motivated to do things, so the ability to change is actually doing the same thing, making things the best for yourself that you can.

yeah, that prolly doesn't make a lot of sense to many people here, but yeah...

[Thomas]

There is also the change associated with maturity.

At the ages of about 18-22, I was pretty full of myself. Physically able to do a lot, good looking (at least in my mirror), and prepared to take on the world, especially if they besmirched me, my family or my unit (military)... Well, I got older... met some tough guys and met some people who were much calmer and yet even more competent in their fighting skills. The man I am today would wipe out that 18-22 year old physically fit man that I was. The difference: at this age, I wouldn't bother doing it unless I absolutely had to.

[shortstick]

yes, if you let it happen.

[Em-em]

Yup. Nothing's permanent in this world except change.

[raybri-san]

whit out change there is no life at all don't worry let it be and try to learn from it if it is possible

[GrappleorWrestle]

sure....the flawed to the flawless, the superior to the inferior... everything has change...at least I hope.