Stupid IT Thread

[pgm316]

Many people on here are heavily into IT, all white and pasty and probably couldn't fight your way our of a paper bag!

Only Joking! :D

I've had to sort some fantastic IT problems to sort out, and really you shouldn't laugh at people you're supposed to be helping, but....

A good one was a person I won't say girl! that said "I can't get the computer on, I keep pressing the foot pedal but nothing happens......" This was because the person that set it up had left the mouse on the floor!!!

A definate case of "you need to put the computer back in the box and send it back!" :D

What amusing IT stories do you have!?

[Wearing Grey]

I work in IT....

When i was on the helpdesk (low volume call center) I had this lady call, every single day. She always had a problem. Well, come think of it, she was real wierd. She named her computer R2, so when she called she said R2 was having a problem. She would call when the hd would start working hard and making the clicking noises. She also called when she did not get email (because no one sent her anything). Well, this went on so frequently that she would call and tell me on days when she was not having a problem that "Everything was ok" and she was calling to let me know she was not having a problem today so I would not worry.

Also had this one guy, having internet problems. Asked him who his ISP was. He said he did not have one and that the internet came free with the "blue e" on his desktop. Asked him who he sent his money to every month for his internet service, he said he didnt send any money because the internet was free with the "blue e".

Well, with not paying an internet bill every month, no wonder he was having internet problems. His isp cancelled his account.

WG

[Bon]

ROFL!

I wish I had some good ones to add, don't think I've run into such stupidity with people yet.

[Wong Fei Hung]

I have a IT that is about me.

I usually watch T.V.with only a remote.

We had switch places with the tv and the computer screen , the T.V. wasn't plugged but I forgot the T.V. was on the other side.

So I pressed the remote on the cpu screen and nothing happened.

I finally figured that it is the cpu screen. lol


Just kidding that was not true.

I'm not that stupid..........
I think????:confused:

[WhiteWizard]

well here is one that will really worry everyone in one of my first year uni courses the lecturers were always given with a powerpoint presentation one time this dumbass lecturere came in hooked up the laptop to the projector there was nothing coming up he then messed about with wires and stuff for 20 minutes. following this he went to get one of the attendents from the building who promptly came in moved the mouse and the thing appeared the bam hadn't noticed that the screen saver was on and it was a black screen.

[YODA]

A good one was a person I won't say girl! that said "I can't get the computer on, I keep pressing the foot pedal but nothing happens......" This was because the person that set it up had left the mouse on the floor!!!

I love these old urban IT myths - you'll be telling us a user thought the CD tray was a coffee cup holder next :D

Here's a real one. Got a call from a user who said she couldn't get MS-Word to print on her new PC. Turns out nobody had installed either a printer driver - or a printer lead. I told her it was a problem with the interface between the keyboard & the monitor (IT techie speak for stupid user) and she immediately said "Oh right" and put the phone down. 20min later she called back to say she had the order book and was ready to order a new one - how much were they? LOL!

[pgm316]

Eh I'll have you know YODA! ;)

I promise you that was a real one, I was there, I know the girl! And that was not really surprising, she also spent a lot on a broadband connection for talking to people and downloading the odd MP3 :o

Another one is a guy I know, he knows bits and peices. He decided the cooling fan on the CPU would work better the other way round. So he turned it round and managed to blow something in the process, I never did find out exactly what. Like he would know better than Intel! :D

[craigwarren]

There is an opposite end to the scale of IT idiots. I knew a guy who loved to tinker with his computer and he became so obsessed with overclocking his CPU that he desided his CPU was too "bumpy" and that it wasnt making perfect contact with the heat sink and would work better if both surfaces where PERFECTLY flat, he proceeded to take a POWER SANDER to both surfaces. Needless to say the manufacturer refused to replace it under warrenty, but did say that if he bought a new processor he would throw in a free arctic silver :)

[pgm316]

This is old and stupid, I've never had any problems with XP! but it made me laugh all the same.........

YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

*****yes!******

OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST" NONSENSE. INGRATE.

Just get on with it.

ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

Groan.

THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.

Problems? What problems?

THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.

But I'm using it at this very moment.

THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS, MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.

All that?

YES. AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.

Well what *DOES* work?

THE MOUSE.

The mouse?

YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.

I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.

YES YOU DO.

No I don't.

WHAT'S THAT THEN?

It's a 3 1/2 drive.

NO IT ISN'T.

Yes it is.

YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.

Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest drivers for everything later? Please?

WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?

Well it is mine.

NO IT ISN'T.

It bloody well is.

NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.

But why?

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDJIT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE? I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK? IS THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE..........

C:\>

[Cain]

^_^

Hehehehe :D

Stupid probs?

A mate of mine, he never used to shut off his monitor, after about months of buying his PC, his mother had once switched off the monitor, when he came home he thought there was some serious problem with it, he called up tech support and they said they would be there ni a few hours, turned out to be a whole day - The funniest thing was when the guy just walked up to it and turned on the power switch and the monitor :D

|Cain|

|Cain|