The Art of fighting, without fighting!

[Andy Murray]

Would anyone care to share their thoughts on avoiding confrontation in the first place?

We train for a variety of reasons, and self defence is just one of them. Getting involved in the chaos of a real life situation is like gambling with your life as the prize!

What about, talking to people tactfully, to avoid situations?

What about avoiding places and times where confrontation can occur?

etc.

[Joseki]

the best one i herd was that this mate of my brothers was in a arguement with this other person it got abit more loud and my brothers (uncle's sisters, mum only kidding) mate said look mate we can have a good fight now we will both end up in hospital or i can buy you a drink!!!!!! (how mad i would of just hit him ha ha only joking) it worked.

[sharris]

I tend to agree. I've been doing one form of martial arts or another for nearly 15 years or so and it cured me of a really quick temper. Another thing it's taught me is that I've nothing to prove by fighting someone in the street unless there's a serious intention by someone to hurt me or my family.

[Melanie]

Welcome Sharris!

Thats the way I like it! Register and post! I have to agree with both of you. Since starting MA I have found I am less stressed and more confident. Fitter too I may add, plus all other previous points...

Melanie

[Pablo]

In order to avoid situations, it seems like a good idea to be able to read situations.
Being able to tell the blowhard (who will attack if put on the spot), from the person intent on harm (who is working up to an attack), is pretty important.
The FBI Behavioral Sciences Unit used to have some training aids for identifying potential aggressors.

As far as staying away from certain places and so on, that is good advice, but we shouldn't operate on the inverse assumption - that we are safe because we are in a 'good' neighborhood, or because we are around the 'right' kind of people.


take care

paul

[Freeform]

Awareness is king, I would say. How many people do you see walking around with their hands in their pockets looking at their shoes. Has anybody else just sat themselves down in a busy street to watch all the different body language, or I'm I just a weirdo freak.

Thanx

[Cooler]

Nope your not a weirdo freak as I have also done this, then again that might make me a weirdo freak? Anyway as freeform said it is a good way to see how people are in everyday life and I would say about 80% walk about oblivious to there surroundings. This directly relates to another thread I answered in here to do with awareness. Can't remember where it is though LOL but it is in here somewhere.

Cooler

[Cooler]

Found it :)

It is here for all interested (http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=21) about 3 quarters of the page down. You should also check out the article Warrior Spirit (http://www.martialartsplanet.com/sections.php?op=viewarticle&artid=2).

Cooler

[waya]

I thought that was the ultimate purpose in training.... to be confident enough that we know how to handle ourselves that it enables us to use more intelligence than force and avoid fighting altogether or as much as possible....

Rob

[fluffydoc]

I try to remember that you don't have to respond to someone who's looking for trouble - shouting comments in the street, jogging your arm as the walk past etc. I think that probably keeps me out of trouble. At the end of the day, if it's not worth killing/ being killed over then leave it because you don't know how far it will go.

[hongkongfuey]

I once nearly got in a fight with 2 hard lads about who was first in the ice cream queue! My wife stepped in and stopped me getting myself in trouble.

I realised afterwards that there are somethings not worth getting in trouble over!

Has anybody else just sat themselves down in a busy street to watch all the different body language, or I'm I just a weirdo freak.

Freeform - can I answer this honestly?

[Freeform]

Go for it HKF!

But I'm warning you, I'm willing to die for this Cornetto :woo:

[Kat]

HKF an't that the truth.
Recently in Australia Sydney,We had an incident where a couple pushing a pram across a road where yelled at by a passing car.
The male yelled back at the car.The car did a U turn,pulled over,2 men got out amidst yelling,pulled knives and went about stabing the male close to 30 times in front of his partner and child.
He survived
They haven't been aprehended yet.

[Andy Murray]

I was out with my girlfriend (now my wife) one night, and got 'jumped' by three guys. I had only just started training at the time, but managed to get my girl into a Taxi, and legged it myself without taking any serious injury.

A couple of years later I spotted the ringleader in a pub.
The bar had a 'Cheers' style layout, being rectangular with an oval bar in the center.
We recognised each other straight away.
He sat and stared, making it quite clear he wanted trouble.
I was at one end of the room, he was at the bar. Not only could I see him, but I could also see the Doorman (a monster).
When this guy went to the toilet, I had a quick word with the Doorman explaining that I was expecting trouble, and he said he would keep an eye on it.

Sure enough, my 'friend' took up his seat and began staring at me again, not realising that he was being watched from the Door. I mouthed a few comments and made a couple of obscene gestures at my admirer, which had the desired effect.
He launched himself across the room, only to be intercepted by a large pair of hairy paws, which lifted him bodily off the ground and threw him outside.

I was able to enjoy a nice cool pint, while smiling and waving to my 'friend' outside.

Sweet Revenge without breaking sweat.

:D

[Darzeka]

I haven't found a situation where someone looked like starting a fight with me for about 6 years.

The one time it happened the guy just started hitting me (I was kinda sick at the time and with no martial training) but other than that there has been nothing.

I've seen fights start in pubs and clubs that started over a spilt drink but I find that most people will no really care if you apologise then turn away. If someone bumps into you look at them then accept their apology. If they do it again move away a bit.

I find that being aware that someone may walk into me helps and just as they are about to turn sideways and watch them stumble on by. Not reacting to cat calls from the aboriginals helps too as they try to do the "I'm gonna smash my shoulder into yours as we pass" walk.

I suppose being 6'2" helps as does having a rather piercing gaze (My eyes are always glassy, I don't blink much or use much facial expressions) but wearing rather dark glasses when I go out helps (they are Blue not Black fool). But then I get the gits who come up to me and say things like "Its real sunny out isn't it?" I just smile and turn away. The fifth or sixth time someone does this I feel like shouting at them or hitting them but it passes before I can start doing anything.

The easiest way to avoid a fight is to not care what other people do to you - someone punches you in the head then backs off look at them and say why?
There is no reason to ever be in a fight. Ever. Nothing you can do or say will evoke anger in me. You cannot offend me or get a rise out of me.

All but 1

[Freeform]

Andy, I've spoken to Silver (former doorman) and he reckons I shouldn't let you into any establishment I work at (although I'm by no means a monster), cause your a troublemaker ;) .

Its like I've said before, if you can read the situation, sometimes becoming even more aggressive than your aggressor can make them back down (and if you've read the situation wrong you've just made it worse!)

[CyCloNe]

Its funny. I mean real funny :D

On Friday I was involved in a roadrage incident, and although I wrote a pretty dramatic account of the event on my homepage www.sootie.com/news (http://www.sootie.com/news) I didnt know how to go about posting on here to share my experience, until I find this resurected thread that covers the exact type of situation.

I just wanted to state that I am of the thinking that we train to understand our limits and know when we can control a situation.

Its often not about being the biggest, the hardest or even the fastest, just simply the smartest.

[c_storm51]

I would say that studying an MA definitely improves my temper control (I have a pretty long fuse, anyway). So far I have always managed to talk my way out of a situation and never been involved in a street fight as a result. I've noticed one thing, though. In training regularly I find myself walking around feeling much more confident and I'm sure this is noticed. I get far less trouble from would-be opponents - it may just be me, but I'm sure it's true....!

[pgm316]

Originally posted by Andy Murray
I was out with my girlfriend (now my wife) one night, and got 'jumped' by three guys. I had only just started training at the time, but managed to get my girl into a Taxi, and legged it myself without taking any serious injury.

A couple of years later I spotted the ringleader in a pub.
The bar had a 'Cheers' style layout, being rectangular with an oval bar in the center.
We recognised each other straight away.
He sat and stared, making it quite clear he wanted trouble.
I was at one end of the room, he was at the bar. Not only could I see him, but I could also see the Doorman (a monster).
When this guy went to the toilet, I had a quick word with the Doorman explaining that I was expecting trouble, and he said he would keep an eye on it.

Sure enough, my 'friend' took up his seat and began staring at me again, not realising that he was being watched from the Door. I mouthed a few comments and made a couple of obscene gestures at my admirer, which had the desired effect.
He launched himself across the room, only to be intercepted by a large pair of hairy paws, which lifted him bodily off the ground and threw him outside.

I was able to enjoy a nice cool pint, while smiling and waving to my 'friend' outside.

Sweet Revenge without breaking sweat.

:D

Great story Andy :)

He would be cross if knew what you did :D

How did you manage to upset him in the first place, there must be more to the story ;)

[Mike Flanagan]

Originally posted by c_storm51
I've noticed one thing, though. In training regularly I find myself walking around feeling much more confident and I'm sure this is noticed. I get far less trouble from would-be opponents - it may just be me, but I'm sure it's true....!

Hi

I don't think there's any doubt about it. A confident and self-assured mental attitude will reflect in your body language. Potential aggressors, muggers, etc will see that (even if they don't consciously understand this) and will most likely find another, easier looking victim.

Mike