MAP Big Brother

[Saz]

Martial Arts Planet Big Brother!

The Big Brother Game (http://www.dc8p.com/bigbrother.html)

Day 1 - Yoda admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Melanie. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Kyokushin_girl is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Freeform later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.

2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Andy Murray creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. KickChick hits him with a Egg Whisk.

3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of The White House out of Cheese. After much persuasion by Andy Murray, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.

4 - Training for the The White House task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Freeform, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat git in the house, eats half the Cheese. KickChick is furious.

5 - Today is the day when the The White House task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Freeform farts and blows The White House over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Melanie cries.

6 - Andy Murray gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.

7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Melanie admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a Egg Whisk. Yoda says he never wears condoms because they make his bum sore and Andy Murray agrees. Kyokushin_girl goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual gits. Freeform sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Andy Murray.

8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Yoda goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. KickChick and Melanie are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Yoda.

9 - KickChick and Melanie are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Kyokushin_girl sings them a song - The Cheeky Girls - to make them feel better.

10 - The public vote Melanie out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Melanie leaves.

11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Melanie's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Kyokushin_girl has to make do without the cucumber she requested. KickChick is visibly depressed and is comforted by Andy Murray, who tries to touch her on her Knee.

12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Andy Murray touching KickChick's Knee over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.

13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Freeform refuses to run because his bum hurts a bit.

14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Freeform finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. KickChick calls Freeform a lazy bum.

15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Yoda tells everyone individually that he thinks KickChick is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. KickChick and Andy Murray are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Yoda.

16 - The nominations are announced. KickChick can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Andy Murray is equally stunned and turns to KickChick for comfort. Freeform is distraught and confesses to Kyokushin_girl that he thinks he is in love with Andy Murray. Kyokushin_girl says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know

17 - The public vote Andy Murray out of the house. KickChick says she is gutted and even gives Andy Murray a clipping of hair from her Knee to prove how much she cares. Freeform is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Andy Murray leaves.

18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of KickChick clipping the hair from her Knee. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.

19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Scotland in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.

20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Scotland sounds like but Freeform says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Yoda as the one who must complete the task.

21 - Yoda successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Scotland but also God Save The Queen, The Cheeky Girls and the theme tune to I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.

22 - Nominations are due and Yoda tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Freeform and Kyokushin_girl are nominated.

23 - Freeform and Kyokushin_girl take their nominations well and sit down with Yoda and KickChick to discuss why they voted for them. Yoda keeps quiet but KickChick accuses Freeform of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred bum before bursting into tears.

24 - The public vote Kyokushin_girl out of the house and nobody really gives a ****. Kyokushin_girl leaves.

25 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Elephant dung using only a Egg Whisk. Yoda is unsure but Freeform is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.

26 - Completely out of the blue, Freeform breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Elephant incident from his childhood. KickChick tries to persuade him to stay but Yoda sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Freeform decides to leave.

27 - With only two housemates remaining, the Elephant dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by KickChick from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.

28 - Nominations are due for the final time. Yoda asks KickChick to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Yoda nominates KickChick to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does KickChick.

29 - When the nomination is announced, KickChick graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Yoda is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Yoda takes his £70,000 and runs away to Scotland. Nobody, including KickChick, ever sees him again.

[WhiteWizard]

now your the one with too much time on your hands. however thats damn funny :D

[Brad Ellin]

Okay. I'm really scared now. Just when I thought it was safe to watch TV again, they bring this in.... whatever happen to the good old days? Benny Hill, Monty Python, Danger Mouse?

mommy? i'm scared.

[Andy Murray]

1. Gutted that Kyokushin Girl has turned out to be a rug muncher, Andy Murray appears on National TV stating that " The only reason Lebians exist, is that there aren't enough Scotsmen to go round"

2. In the privacy of his own domicile, Andy Murray secretly replays the scene where KickChick spanks him with the eggwhisk, wishing for something more substantial.

3. This was foolish, as Andy Murray thought they meant the 'Whitehouse Magazine' as opposed to the American Presidents detached bungalow.

7. Andy Murray, using his technical knowhow, diverts two of the cameras, and shows Kyokushin Girl, Melanie and KickChick how to enjoy kilted love, while Yoda and Freeform make party novelties with condoms.

10. Melanie leaves the house, but Andy Murray was secretly gutted (Camera cuts to tearful eyes), as she was the only person who ever listened to him for more than two seconds before calling him a nob.

12. Andy Murray publicly rejects any impropriety in touching KickChicks knee, as his Chi was drawn there, and the effects were obvious for all to see.

17. Andy Murray is gutted. Despite showing all the female housemates their place, he's unnapreciated and evicted, only to be gangraped by appreciative Nympho Amazonian Dykes for the next two months following his exit from Big Brother.

30. Aside from a brief carrer in Porno, Andy Murray, having milked the media for every scrap of publicity he can find, settles down to a life of Sheep worrying in the Cheviot Dales, always wondering what might have been.............if only he hadn't fondled that hairy patella.............

[morphus]

TOOoooo...much time! He he ..he LOL!:D

[morphus]

Hang on where the hell was I?????????????????????????;) :D

[kobudo_tob]

I read this whilst watching a video of Girls Aloud.........so it was double pleasure for me.

[Spike]

What a shock, nobody voted for yoda.

[Cougar_v203]

I DID :D

[KickChick]

31.(sorry I can't continue on with this... I am just starting to get to "know" all of you!)

I have this strange urge to go and shave my knees now!!

What an imagination you have Kyokushin_girl!!! ... ever think about wrting for those trashy tabloids??

and... how did I get involve in all that???:D

... should I feel "honored" or what??:confused:

[johndoch]

LOL

Classic:D :D :D

Especially the condom gag

[Saz]

Originally posted by KickChick

What an imagination you have Kyokushin_girl!!! ... ever think about wrting for those trashy tabloids??

and... how did I get involve in all that???:D

... should I feel "honored" or what??:confused:

Its an online javascript game, i put the link in the orginal post... http://www.dc8p.com/bigbrother.html Go have a look, its fun.

It asks you for 3 male names, and three female names... After myself and Melanie, you were the only other girl I could think of who posts on a regualr basis!! :D

[KickChick]

OK ... missed that "link" in the original post.
Good one! --I thought you wrote that whole thing!!

Thanks for including me! ... (now I gots to get back to posting!!!)
:love: :)

[Cougar_v203]

since i love you all ;) i added all your names to this

Big Brother!

Day 1 - Ichiro Katsumor admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of K Girl. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Kickchick is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Spike later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.

2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. YODA creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Marissa hits him with a spoon.

3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of sears towers out of Nutty Bars. After much persuasion by YODA, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.

4 - Training for the sears towers task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Spike, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat ******* in the house, eats half the Nutty Bars. Marissa is furious.

5 - Today is the day when the sears towers task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Spike farts and blows sears towers over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. K Girl cries.

6 - YODA gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.

7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, K Girl admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spoon. Ichiro Katsumor says he never wears condoms because they make his groin sore and YODA agrees. Kickchick goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual *******s. Spike sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up YODA.

8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Ichiro Katsumor goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Marissa and K Girl are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Ichiro Katsumor.

9 - Marissa and K Girl are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Kickchick sings them a song - oops i did it again - to make them feel better.

10 - The public vote K Girl out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. K Girl leaves.

11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with K Girl's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Kickchick has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Marissa is visibly depressed and is comforted by YODA, who tries to touch her on her breasts.

12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of YODA touching Marissa's breasts over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.

13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Spike refuses to run because his groin hurts a bit.

14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Spike finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Marissa calls Spike a lazy groin.

15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Ichiro Katsumor tells everyone individually that he thinks Marissa is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Marissa and YODA are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Ichiro Katsumor.

16 - The nominations are announced. Marissa can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. YODA is equally stunned and turns to Marissa for comfort. Spike is distraught and confesses to Kickchick that he thinks he is in love with YODA. Kickchick says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know

17 - The public vote YODA out of the house. Marissa says she is gutted and even gives YODA a clipping of hair from her breasts to prove how much she cares. Spike is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. YODA leaves.

18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Marissa clipping the hair from her breasts. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.

19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of afghanistan in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.

20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of afghanistan sounds like but Spike says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Ichiro Katsumor as the one who must complete the task.

21 - Ichiro Katsumor successfully burps not only the National Anthem of afghanistan but also God Save The Queen, oops i did it again and the theme tune to Monty Python. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.

22 - Nominations are due and Ichiro Katsumor tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Spike and Kickchick are nominated.

23 - Spike and Kickchick take their nominations well and sit down with Ichiro Katsumor and Marissa to discuss why they voted for them. Ichiro Katsumor keeps quiet but Marissa accuses Spike of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred groin before bursting into tears.

24 - The public vote Kickchick out of the house and nobody really gives a ****. Kickchick leaves.

25 - Ichiro Katsumor becomes the first housemate to have a ****. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Ichiro Katsumor's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a ****er.

26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of WHALE dung using only a spoon. Ichiro Katsumor is unsure but Spike is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.

27 - Completely out of the blue, Spike breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the WHALE incident from his childhood. Marissa tries to persuade him to stay but Ichiro Katsumor sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Spike decides to leave.

28 - With only two housemates remaining, the WHALE dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Marissa from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.

29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Ichiro Katsumor asks Marissa to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Ichiro Katsumor nominates Marissa to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Marissa.

30 - When the nomination is announced, Marissa graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Ichiro Katsumor is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Ichiro Katsumor takes his £70,000 and runs away to afghanistan . Nobody, including Marissa, ever sees him again.

[YODA]

Pssst Cougar - somebody did this already.

[pgm316]

It doesn't mention which MAP member hangs around outside trying to sneak in to see the contestants!

Who's the most likely? and will they get there ass kicked by security ?

:D

[Cougar_v203]

o crap. :(
oh well i posted so there take that jedi masta.

[Saz]

Originally posted by pgm316
It doesn't mention which MAP member hangs around outside trying to sneak in to see the contestants!

Who's the most likely? and will they get there ass kicked by security ?

:D

Spike? Someone told him they've hidden a stash of Stella in the Diary room :D

[YODA]

Speaking of Stella - I just happened to call in at the offie tonight for a can of diet coke :Angel: -

6 x 500ml cans of Stella for a fiver!!! Nooooooo............. How could anyone resist? :(

[Spike]

Thanks KY Girl, I`m impressed you know me so well

[Saz]

Well, you'd need a lot of Stella to want to ask about my feet in the first place ;)

[pgm316]

Originally posted by YODA

6 x 500ml cans of Stella for a fiver!!! Nooooooo............. How could anyone resist? :(

Would have been rude not to! :D

[Greg-VT]

err... Stella??

Hmm, must be a UK thing.....

[pgm316]

Its a UK thing, we're well known for our surprisingly bad beer! :( Stella is one of the best (most popular) Originally from Belgium, although many of them don't drink it because its not their best and it gives you a headache, and to make it worse, the British brewed version isn't even as good! :o

Whats your drink of choice VT and don't be saying anything lame like fresh orange juice! :D

[big e]

well stella :D:D
went to my local supermarket
24 stella stubbies for £9 i was like
tooooooooooooooooot tooooooooooooooooooooot

but ofcoarse my will power then kicked in
"dont do it ian, dont do it"

[YODA]

Genuine Belgian Stella in 500ml cans at my local Offie- £5 for six :D

[Saz]

I don't like stella, i had a VERY bad experience with it once, it was £1 a pint and i drank a bit *too* much. I can't even look at it now.

[YODA]

Originally posted by Kyokushin_girl
I don't like stella, i had a VERY bad experience with it once, it was £1 a pint and i drank a bit *too* much. I can't even look at it now.


I had a similar experience with Tenents Super - and I only had 8 :mad:

Funny though - the two "well known Glaswegian JKD Instructors" that we had with us showed up late for their seminar the morning after - VERY sick & hungover Hehehe....

[Saz]

LOL :) Thats lethal stuff!

I'm not saying how much I had, it'll make me look like an alchy :p
I drank a load of cheap white cider when I was about 15 too, that put me off for life!

[YODA]

Too right - Tenents Super should be taken off the shelves and used for something more suitable like cleaning drains.

[Greg-VT]

Originally posted by pgm316
Whats your drink of choice VT and don't be saying anything lame like fresh orange juice! :D

Hmm, Lemonade ;)

Heh, Beer is good down here. I'll be able to sample what you have over there next week. I can't believe you don't serve beer cold. Surely thats not true. I don't know how anyone could drink warm beer.

But for here, a nice cold Crownie (Crown Lager) goes down well :D Mmmmm.......

Originally posted by Kyokushin_girl
I don't like stella, i had a VERY bad experience with it once, it was £1 a pint and i drank a bit *too* much. I can't even look at it now.

LoL, sounds very familiar. When I had just started drinking a few years back (young, never touched a drop), I had like 8 Hahn Light beers, within about 2 hours (May not sound like much, but I'm not a big guy). I was up all night kneeling over a bucket, and I was totally wasted the following day. Now I can't even smell the stuff.

My Dad is the same with Bacardie (sp?) Rum, from back in his teens. I once got him a bottle for his birthday, He only had to see the label and he was off runnin ;) LoL

[Saz]

What about Fosters? :D

Oh god, I hate bacardi too. But I'll drink it anyway :D

[Greg-VT]

Fosters? yeah :D. That too.

Actually, Crown is made by Fosters ;)

[YODA]

Fosters? Don't like it - XXXX is ok though :D

[Greg-VT]

I have'nt tried XXXX. Hmm, I personally don't think Fosters is too bad, but a crown... :) premium stuff :D
I don't drink too often though, If at all. So it's a bit hard for me to define my 'drink of choice'

[johndoch]

Yoda

jeez 8 supers no wonder you guys were sick. What about buckfast (monks brew or buckie to us scots) I had a mate who used to drink 2 bottles of the stuff at a time and could still stand straight now thats a skill I can admire:)

[YODA]

Never tried the stuff - I did drinl two bottles of 17.5% Thunderbird once. I was a touch ill :-(

[big e]

I was a touch ill :-(

LOL - reminds me of a young who's had a few too many slippery nipples

:D :D :D

[YODA]

Yes - I remember him well LOL!

"I'm ok - I'm fine - I'm ..... Zzzzzzzzzz..................."

Not to mention...... (((Puke)))

LOL!

[Spike]

didn`t you here, they found tennents super and buckfast in Iraq, that was the chemical weapons they were hoarding

[YODA]

Originally posted by Spike
didn`t you here, they found tennents super and buckfast in Iraq, that was the chemical weapons they were hoarding


I can well believe it witht he Tennents Super.

I keep hearing about this Buckfast stuff - pray tell me more :D

[Spike]

"pray"

interesting word, very apt when discussing buckfast, since it`s holy wine.
and since you end up asking god to ensure you don`t vomit up your internal organs.

[YODA]

Originally posted by Spike
"pray"

interesting word, very apt when discussing buckfast, since it`s holy wine.
and since you end up asking god to ensure you don`t vomit up your internal organs.


Sounds like a nice tipple :D

Maybe a sampling isin order next time I cross the border :cool:

[Spike]

Wow, you are tough.

Call me old fashioned but I just don`t trust wine that pours like treacle

[Knight_Errant]

Oh man, this is what happens when you pull a muscle on your back and stay away from training for a while...

Can I just make an arse of myself, object to the use of the phrase 'rug muncher' and be on my way, or is it required that I do it too?

Incidentally, try this romanian stuff my brother had. It's 80% proof. My god. Why do people do it?:confused:

[Saz]

Absinthe is the worst!! my god, thats a bad drink! EVIL!

Knight, it is just a joke, don't take it too seriously, no-one means any offence by the term (although I did cry for an hour after being called it ;))

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by Kyokushin_girl
Absinthe is the worst!! my god, thats a bad drink! EVIL!

Knight, it is just a joke, don't take it too seriously, no-one means any offence by the term (although I did cry for an hour after being called it ;))

Who called ya a 'rug muncher' KY Gel, I'll ban em for life I swear it. :D

[Saz]

:cry:

Anyone else ever wish they'd chosen a better username with hindsight? :D

[Andy Murray]

LOL :D

At least you didn't choose your real name. ;)

I won't tell anyone it's; 'Sarah Bottyburp Thunderdump McEvans' I promise :D

[Saz]

I actually prefer that to my real name! :D

[Knight_Errant]

hmmm...

[YODA]

Originally posted by Kyokushin_girl
Absinthe is the worst!! my god, thats a bad drink! EVIL!

Knight, it is just a joke, don't take it too seriously, no-one means any offence by the term (although I did cry for an hour after being called it ;))


Only tried Absinthe once - I woke up about 4 hours later - I reckon it's made by aliens and used as some kind of super drug that knocks you out while they abduct you.

[Knight_Errant]

(although I did cry for an hour after being called it )
Aw, poor KY girl.

[Saz]

Originally posted by YODA
Only tried Absinthe once - I woke up about 4 hours later - I reckon it's made by aliens and used as some kind of super drug that knocks you out while they abduct you.

LOL! :D I did wake up feeling like I'd been to another planet.

I had four shots of it in some dodgy Cheltenham nightclub. My flatmate (all 8 stones of her) had to physically carry me home, because I couldn't even stand up! Its damned evil stuff! I'll drink near enough anything, but I'll never touch that again!

[johndoch]

Yoda

Buckfast is the drink of choice for many a wee ned and as spike says it pours like treacle, smells like old ladies perfume and is a close relative of your old friend T'Birds. Just thing to say dont do it mate!!!!!

[YODA]

a close relative of your old friend T'Birds.

Hey - that's good enough for me :p

*Note for Elhiggito: Next time I'm up at your place we gotta have some! :D

[Saz]

I can see you posting a similar sort of post to the absinthe post a few days after you do... :D

[YODA]

'appen as mebee :D

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by YODA
Hey - that's good enough for me :p

*Note for Elhiggito: Next time I'm up at your place we gotta have some! :D

I don't reccomend the 'Traditional' way of drinking Buckie Yoda, which involves necking two bottles each, stealing a Vauxhall Corsa, racing the Law, then slashing your mate on the cheek with a razor. The favoured type being three coins glued together with razors between them, so it's impossible to stitch up neatly.

You also need to dress appropriately, which is either a white Adidas Tracksuit top with Blue Adidas tracksuit bottoms, or a colour reversal of the same. Said tracksuit bottoms must be tucked into white socks. Designer trainers and a skip cap complete the outfit.

Glasgow phrases to understand;

'Gonnaegeeza shot o yer Buckie big man.' means
May I have a drink of your fine fortified wine my good fellow.

'Pure brullyant natno' means
It's really good, isn't it.

[Spike]

"Only tried Absinthe once - I woke up about 4 hours later - I reckon it's made by aliens and used as some kind of super drug that knocks you out while they abduct you."

My friend refused to drink it when she put her finger in the glass and it dissolved her nail varnish

[Adam]

Threads move in mysterious ways don't they? This started out as a joke on reality TV, and now it's about absinth? Highly peculiar.

For anyone feeling suicidel, I might add vodka from greenland. Says 50% on bottle, but smells and like turpentine mixed with ethanol and is defintely more than the 50. I guess the poor greenlanders will have to make do with what they have.

[Saz]

Originally posted by Spike
"Only tried Absinthe once - I woke up about 4 hours later - I reckon it's made by aliens and used as some kind of super drug that knocks you out while they abduct you."

My friend refused to drink it when she put her finger in the glass and it dissolved her nail varnish

My god, are you serious? I drank 4 shots of that stuff! No wonder my liver is dodgy

[Spike]

Search your feelings, what`s left of them, you know it to be true

[YODA]

Anyone like Pocheen?

I love the stuff :D

[Adam]

There should really be some sort of warning label on the stronger stuff. "Warning: If you drink this, kiss your braincells goodbye!"

Doubt it would make anyone drink less of the damn stuff though.

[Saz]

Originally posted by YODA
Anyone like Pocheen?

I love the stuff :D

Great stuff... my grandfather's always keeps a bottle of it around, I gave some to my boyfriend and he was sick for hours :D

[Greg-VT]

I'm going to have to bring some off this stuff back home with me :D

So there is Absinthe, Stella, Pocheen.... anymore I should know about??

[KickChick]

Originally posted by Adam
Threads move in mysterious ways don't they? This started out as a joke on reality TV, and now it's about absinth? Highly peculiar.

.... yeah they do don't they???:)

... now I'm wondering if I can find all this "stuff" here in the states.(My latest is called "Cabana Boy"... a friend of mine had a party and said she was going to introduce me to the cabana boy... turns out he (it) wasn't what I thought!

...(and what type of liqour is Absinthe, Stella, Pocheen???)

[Saz]

If you really want to do your liver in, get a case of white lightening and Special Brew while your here!! :D

[Greg-VT]

heh heh, will do, can't wait :D

lol, this coming from one who's doesnt usually drink too much.... lol. I think myself strange sometimes.

Ohwell can't be an all out too bad experience. :D Might need an extra bag....

[johndoch]

Pocheen???? What this a drink I've never heard of?

[Spike]

Pcheen is lovely I highly reccomend it

[Saz]

If I remember rightly, its an irish spirit thing, made from potatoes, oddly enough.

[Spike]

Yeah, "Boru" is the nicest I`ve tried

[YODA]

OK MAPers - listen to Uncle YODA and listen well - the following link is for errrr..... "educational purposes" only. Not for actually sourcing any beverages from - no - not at al (at all at all) - no siree - nope - no way Jose - perish the thought....

For educational research only YODA has NEVER bought ANYTHING from here your honour! (http://www.cultdrinks.co.uk/index1.php)

:Angel: :Angel: :Angel:

[Spike]

Right dudes and dudettes, we all chip in, buy a bottle of everything, have a MAP get together then get our stomachs pumped

[YODA]

Originally posted by Spike
Right dudes and dudettes, we chip, buy a bottle of everything, have a MAP get together then get our stomachs pumped


Doh!

(Ahem..... been there done that LOL!)

[Spike]

Never been that bad, my stomach tends to clear itself out when needed

[YODA]

Only had it pumped once - I don't recommend it - it's an experience that kinda stays with you (((Shudder)))

[Knight_Errant]

Right dudes and dudettes, we all chip in, buy a bottle of everything, have a MAP get together then get our stomachs pumped
I'm sooo up for it!

[YODA]

Originally posted by Knight_errant
I'm sooo up for it!


We figured that out - but what about the
"we all chip in, buy a bottle of everything..." etc :D

[Knight_Errant]

yeah, sure man. I'll even try and bring a bottle of illegal romanian spirits. I can pull my weight on the money thing, I just don't have any permanent employment 'cos it goes against my beliefs. It's as bad a tie-down as being married, only without the sex...

[YODA]

It's as bad a tie-down as being married, only without the sex...

You have a lot to learn about marriage LOL!

[Spike]

YODA, It`s nice of you to share but we don`t need to know what you get up to on your own time.

I don`t need that sort of mental image

[darlph]

Okay, when and where's the party? I want to film it. Then edit it and make millions on,...well,..............we'll see.

[Spike]

Camera?

My left is my best side.

[Knight_Errant]

You have a lot to learn about marriage LOL!
Do you mean about the tie-down or about the sex?
no, no, no, I do not wish to know this...

[darlph]

Spike are you sure it's not bottom's up? tee hee! Just some one don't forget the pop corn. :)

[KickChick]

http://66.227.101.70/cwm/cwm/lurk.gif + http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/otn/party/beerchug.gif + MAP'ers

[YODA]

..... don't forget the http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/tweetz_m4.gif

probably some http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/fight.sml.gif

and a little http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/ninja.sml.gif

and I'm sure there'll be some http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/karate.gif

no doubt ending with some http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/biere.gif

[KickChick]

and possibly....
http://216.40.249.192/s/otn/love/lovestory.gif

[YODA]

......... and almost certainly the occasional http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/yikes.sml.gif