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View Full Version : Tech Support for Wife 1.0


Saz
25-Mar-2003, 01:43 AM
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

- Mr I N Distress


Dear I N Distress,

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

WARNING DO NOT TRY TO un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous.

You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 2.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Girlfriend 2.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-recoverable system crash.

Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs.

The system will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0

-Monthly use utilities such as TLC and AMEX
-Frequently use Communicator 5.0

With best wishes,
Tech Support.

Cain
25-Mar-2003, 07:10 AM
Damn! That cracked me up LOL! :D

|Cain|

TkdWarrior
25-Mar-2003, 02:40 PM
damn...
thank god i changed my system ;)
-TkdWarrior-

Tosh
25-Mar-2003, 02:53 PM
I've heard reports from Wife 1.0 that it won't run properly if your using a 'Micro-soft' pointer, this is also true for Girfriend 1.0

:D

Telsun
25-Mar-2003, 03:15 PM
Nice one Sarah. Sometimes I wonder if we would be better of without technology, know what I mean?

Should that not have been boyfriend to husband in your case?.........oh no I see, it does not work that way round!!!!!

morphus
25-Mar-2003, 03:34 PM
You seem to give the right sort of tech support - Though i've never had much problem with wife 1.0 myself as long as i took the time to communicate with the system, i do have one question, What if wife 1.0 gets into another system without the knowledge of the Mr. I N Distress? Does the manufacturer take any responsability are they liable for damages and are his statuary rights affected? Can i just pull the plug??;)

Saz
26-Mar-2003, 11:00 PM
Telsun, I definitly don't run Wife 1.0 on my system! I run Boyfriend 4.0. Its a bit buggy, sometimes it refuses to boot up in the mornings, and it creates unnecessary files and folders and puts them all over my desktop. I also had some trouble installing the drivers for the toliet seat control device.

Morphus, if Wife 1.0 gets into another system without the knowledge of the owner, download and run the divorce.exe patch from the manufacturer :)

Andy Murray
26-Mar-2003, 11:34 PM
I've tried everything to deinstall Wife 1.0 from my system, but nothing works. My attempts resulted in Daughter 2.0.

Wife 1.0 easily disabled Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5, but Daughter 2.0 has been even more destructive.

Applications to watch out for are Sleeplessnights 4am 4.0, Wallpaper.exe, Video/Crayons 2.0 and Vomit 2.0.

Latterly Libido 4.0 has been all but destroyed, and I'm looking at a complete system overhaul.

morphus
27-Mar-2003, 09:12 AM
Andy have you tried viagra 5.0 - apparrently it immedietly raises the profile of libido 4.0

Tosh
27-Mar-2003, 09:40 AM
Originally posted by morphus
Andy have you tried viagra 5.0 - apparrently it immedietly raises the profile of libido 4.0

CAUTION!!

Viagra 5.0 will route all power to Hard-drive use with care!!!


Heh.....Wallpaper.exe, nice one!

pgm316
27-Mar-2003, 09:52 AM
Originally posted by tosh_spice


CAUTION!!

Viagra 5.0 will route all power to Hard-drive use with care!!!


Best software you can get! :D

Cain
27-Mar-2003, 09:54 AM
Or maybe you need to reformat your HDD Andy...

|Cain|

Andy Murray
27-Mar-2003, 09:55 AM
Originally posted by pgm316


Best software you can get! :D

Really?

I'd heard Nymphotwins 2.0 and Slapper 4.0 were worth a look.

pgm316
27-Mar-2003, 10:49 AM
Originally posted by Andy Murray


Really?

I'd heard Nymphotwins 2.0 and Slapper 4.0 were worth a look.

Since my friend downloaded a large amount of Viagra 5.0 its given Girlfriend 2.0 a lot of hardware to play with. Carefull not to burn the harddrive out, or she'll be left making do with the floppy drive! :eek:

ps avoid Slapper 4.0 or risk getting viruses on your system! :D

TkdWarrior
27-Mar-2003, 12:53 PM
LMAO....
-TkdWarrior-

Saz
27-Mar-2003, 09:33 PM
If the hard drive does burn out, you'll just have to mount it again

snailfist
24-May-2004, 06:36 PM
Whatever you do, make sure you close Windows first. (Shutters.exe comes highly recommended.)
Failure to do so results in catastrophic spyware vulnerability across your network neighbourhood :Angel:

jokerlaughsatu
24-May-2004, 06:53 PM
This is another reason why its great to have a mac.

JohnnyX
24-May-2004, 07:24 PM
This is another reason why its great to have a mac.

Is that Flasher 1.0 ? :D

jokerlaughsatu
25-May-2004, 03:51 PM
It actually FamilythinksImgay 2.5