Haggis Farming!

[Andy Murray]

I recently purchased a fine pair of Pedigree Haggis, which I am hoping to breed with a view to exporting this Scottish delicacy.

Aside from hearing from members who would be interested in purchasing fresh Haggisi from me, I was hoping any of my countrymen who have intimate knowledge of breeding Haggis might offer me some advice.

Now we all know that male Haggis run round the hill clockwise, and female Haggis anti-clockwise, each having appropriately mismatched legs for this reason, and I've purposely built a small hill with 45 degree slopes in my back garden for this purpose.

I'd also be happy to hear from our overseas members who might be willing to act as distributors in their respective countries.

Thanks

Andy

Haggis website (http://www.wilsonjo.demon.co.uk/haggis.htm)

[Jim]

No point in trying to market them here, Andy. We have a huge marsupial haggis problem here and they are taking a lot of the grazing land from Kangaroos and Emus. Bloody government won't let us cull them though.

We're considering setting up a sanctuary in a small, remote island off the south coast of Australia called Tasmania (or some such) and moving them all there where they won't do any harm.

[YODA]

Aside from hearing from members who would be interested in purchasing fresh Haggisi from me

Can I get a haggisi? Can I call it Andre?

:D

[pgm316]

Don’t forget the aphrodisiacs! A nice bit of cheese and you’ll be swarming with haggis! ;)

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by YODA


Can I get a haggisi? Can I call it Andre?

:D

*Groan* at Dave!

Good point though, I don't have names for em yet.

Any suggestions?

[Saz]

Lunch and Dinner?

[Andy Murray]

*sniff* I had to let my Haggis go.

They kept on bothering my cat, and kept us up late at night, Highland Dancing and screaming *Yich* all the time.

[Kwajman]

Can Haggi (?) live in the wild when you let them go?

[Andy Murray]

They can, but it's cruel to release them on flat terrain, as they wander aimlessly about in circles, mewing pitifully.

Tis a haunting sound, that of the Haggis that has lost it's hill. :(

[shipto]

just call em all jimmy like nearly everyone else up there lol

[Kwajman]

Do the Haggi have to dance around a hill to keep from falling over? And I just got the 'andre haggasi' joke.....duh....last time I drink a lot of cold medicine at 2 in the afternoon....

[booksie_girl]

Inform me, poor ignorant Aussie that I am, but I though haggis came from sheep...?

[TheBorderer]

I wouldn't say that too often(or at all) booksie, you'll hurt their (and Andy's feelings!) :p

[booksie_girl]

My most sincere apoligise. Please understand that I am an ignorant Aussie with no understanding of the art of raising haggis, and I would certainly have no idea of the angle of slope requried to compensate for those cleverly unique legs. ;)

[fluffydoc]

Andy, I believe there's a small colony of haggi living on Arthur's Seat. If you have any more strays they could go there.

They also go to Calton Hill at Beltane and join in the festivities. On a quiet night, with the wind in the right direction and with the ear of the believer, you can hear the skirl of distant pipes and their tiny voices raised in cries of "yich".

[Kwajman]

Don't mind Booksie, she just started school again.... :p

[Greg-VT]

lol books'. Anyone would dimiss you for a yank ;) :P

[#1 Stutta]

Wait.

I'm confused.

Are Haggis real?

[Greg-VT]

lol

SEE!! An Example! :D

;):p

[#1 Stutta]

Nah. This is the Joke Section.

They're not real.

Right?

[shipto]

well they do taste unrealy horrible

[Kwajman]

If I'm right, and I'm sure our Highland dancing, kilt wearing, haggis eatin, Scottish breathern will correct me if I'm wrong. But Haggis is something like sheep or cow bits mixed with veggies, oatmeal, spices, and an assortment of other goodies, put in a sheeps stomach and boiled, uhmmmmmm, yum. Actually I've never had it, but I'M WILLING TO LEARN!

Oh, and the sheep is dead when they boil its stomach..... :D

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by shipto
well they do taste unrealy horrible

Stick to your jellied eels and tripe ya shandy drinking sassenach.

Yes, Haggis are real, didn't you guys read the link at the start?

[Kwajman]

Oh jeez, no, its not food, its some sort of bird.......

[Greg-VT]

damn right :p

[booksie_girl]

Originally posted by Kwajman
Oh jeez, no, its not food, its some sort of bird.......

Which can be served with 'taters and neeps' ie, food it seems :D

VT, would you condem one of your felllow Aussies as a Yank? The shame of it, my own fellow Aussie, betraying me :cry: Yank. Hmphm:D

[Greg-VT]

Originally posted by booksie_girl
VT, would you condem one of your felllow Aussies as a Yank? The shame of it, my own fellow Aussie, betraying me :cry: Yank. Hmphm:D

Ermm... yea sorry 'bout that. It was wrong of me. Your right, I hang my head in shame. Won't happen again :D


Ehh... I guess now would be a good time for "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE......

[booksie_girl]

That's ok, I forgive you? :D

EDIT: OY OY OY

[Knight_Errant]

Haggisses are brilliant. We should have 'em all the time. :)

[booksie_girl]

to eat or to farm?

[Knight_Errant]

to pet, hold, nurture and love ;)

[booksie_girl]

especially with a good gravy :p

[#1 Stutta]

Originally posted by Andy Murray
Yes, Haggis are real, didn't you guys read the link at the start?

Yes, I read the link, but I didn't believe it. C'mon, the camera wouldn't take a picture? These Haggis must magical then.

[Andy Murray]

Originally posted by #1 Stutta
Yes, I read the link, but I didn't believe it. C'mon, the camera wouldn't take a picture? These Haggis must magical then.

Scotland is indeed a Magical place.

You'll be telling me there's no Loch Ness Monster next. *Sheesh* :rolleyes:

[#1 Stutta]

lol